To think he shouldn't have been allowed more food?

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

Round at the in laws for dinner with Dss and DP.

Dss refused to eat all his dinner so was told he couldn't have pudding. He made a half hearted attempt to eat more, when told this, but eventually gave up due to being 'too full'.

Was allowed to have pudding anyway as he did attempt to eat more but was told he could not have anything later as he did not finish his dinner.

Come almost bedtime, Dss starts asking for more food. DP told him no as he hadn't eaten all his dinner but he was overuled by DGM who said he couldn't be allowed to go to bed hungry.

Aibu to think she should have gone with what DP said or was she right?

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

He doesn't eat fruit or veg but we have progressed from chips to mashed potato

[AnecdotalEvidence]

OhGod what have pringles got to do with it? You don't have to give them pringles if they haven't eaten much dinner. My youngest is autistic and had lots of food issues, I used to give him cereal (not high sugar) or bread if he was still hungry.

How are you getting on with making your child eat vegetables? I'd love to know how you do it.

[UmbongoUnchained]

There's no such thing as treats in my household. Food is food and they can eat it when they like wether it's chocolate or fruit. Funnily enough my daughter rarely chooses the chocolate and now has developed fantastic willpower as its not seen as something special. She can have 3 buttons from the bowl and put the rest back in the fridge. Me though, I have terrible food issues because of my strict parents and I binge eat.

[rookiemere]

But Ohgod OP is not the parent she is his DF's girlfriend.

On that basis it's not up to her to decide what her BF's DS should be eating or pass judgement on it.

[OhGodWhatTheHellNow]

My 7 yo is a refuser, his range is getting smaller every week, he brings most of his packed lunch home from school even after I have put exactly what he asked for in it and this is supposed to be OK? School have commented he is tired and inattentive in the afternoon so no, child-led eating is not working. If he doesn't try to eat some tea he doesn't get to fill up on Pringles laterr,no matter how hungry he says he is.

Parenting includes making children eat veg when they want to live on ice-cream and the gps should respect this.

[MiniCooperLover]

Pudding in our house is always a yoghurt after fruit so it's always given. Now we sometimes get the 'I'm hungry Mummy' when it's bedtime and I ignore because I know he's barely half an hour before eaten. He doesn't get anything and he goes to sleep fine.

[SouperSal]

My 5 year old often has half/all of her pudding before her main course. It seems to wake up her appetite.

[VioletBam]

Anecdotal exactly. I don't always want to eat an entire bowl of pasta and whatever. But I'll still have icecream if there's any on offer.

[VioletBam]

It's bullshit to deprive a child of pudding if they don't eat dinner. Treating food as a reward is a BAD route.

Always.

[AnecdotalEvidence]

"pudding is something we get as an additional treat if we are still hungry having eaten our main meal"
So pudding is a reward given only to those with a bigger appetite?
That just makes no sense to me.

If I go out for dinner, I can often not eat all of my main course but still have room for pudding.

[RabbitSaysWoof]

I took the post to be about the dp being undermined more than anything else. I don't think she sounds controlling.

[NickiFury]

Oh get over it. He was at his grand parents and she didn't want to see him go hungry or be a hard arse with him. And that's fine! As long as it's not constant. You sound pretty controlling to be honest. Is the child's actual parent, your DP as angry about this days later, as you are?

[RB68]

its all too late he is already a food refuser and using it to control things around him, possibly as he has no other say in things. CHildren should be allowed to eat when hungry but in my view proper food rather than sugary so toast and banana absolutely fine

[SlowJinn]

What is DSS? Stepson?

I agree with the posters saying don't encourage children to clear their plates before pudding is allowed. Serve small portions, let them eat what they need, don't be concerned if they can't eat every single thing. Most children eat little and often and aren't fussy eaters.

[iMatter]

Children have 2 stomachs.

One is for the main course; the other is for pudding.

However full they are after their main course the pudding stomach is empty.

According to my dc anyway.

[Enkopkaffetak]

If a parent has said no then it is no IMO.

I have read books that suggests as said early on " making the pudding a part of the meal" and books that suggests "pudding is something we get as an additional treat if we are still hungry having eaten our main meal"

Personally I prescribe to the latter belief and expect a decent attempt at main meal (the clue is in the name MAIN IMO) and then dessert is a treat. I also never go with good and bad foods but will speak of foods we need a lot of as it bulks us and food we have as a treat as its nice to eat.

None of this however changes that if a parent says no then no one gets to overule this. However in your case op you need to speak with your dh to get him to talk to his mother so she doesn't overule even if she feels he is wrong.

[LockedOutOfMN]

In my opinion, I would teach the lad to eat when he is hungry, and in general to be polite, thank the person who cooked his meal, and have good table manners. Our children eat what they wish, but they stay at the table until everyone has finished eating.

[MrsJayy]

We dont have pudding that often either i think what i meant is if you do have pudding then dont hold it over a child iyswim

[jollygoose]

It could be a better idea to just remove the dinner and say sweetly if you are hungry later you might fancy it then.

[WutheringTights]

We never have pudding at home, it is a special treat when we are out. Anything for an easy life.

[MrsJayy]

I think we are conditioned to see sweet food as a treat and you can have it if you are good but if a pudding is being offered as part of dinner then it isnt a treat is it?

[Oysterbabe]

I wouldn't send a 7 year old to bed hungry.

[MrsJayy]

Pudding is part of dinner forcing children to clear plates isnt productive it causes food battles ime of 1 of my Dc if pudding is for dinner then they can have it he did eat some of his main and if he was hungry later on then he was hungry i eat when im hungry so why shouldnt a child.

[rookiemere]

He's 7. His parents went through a separation at some point. He's getting used to his father having a new partner. He is being spoiled by his granny.

I think you need to step back here and think about the bigger picture. Why is this even bothering you?