To have booked a night nanny

[Bee14]

Sorry middle class problem, but no family near by dc2 a week old after long labour and EMC, witching hour appears to be late evening until early hours so dh and I have been doing shifts sitting with him. I had a melt down yesterday having had less than 4 hrs sleep a day for a week and in not longer than hour and a half chunks. I had also forgotten the swelling anxiety childbirth brings and how long it takes me to relax in to it (for better or worse my job requires me to be the one in control and with all the solutions in critical situations).

Much better day and night last night, dh took both shifts and was able to get some sleep as baby went down. So feel way better, now getting anxious about having hired a nanny. Comes highly recommended and plan is for 3-4 weeks for a couple of nights a week and to help me into routine/ discipline (not baby in routine way to early for that), but am I being unfair to my baby doing this I don't plan to hand baby over and go to bed but for her to watch routine and help get down and only take if wont settle at all.

[AudTheDeepMinded]

Fabulous idea. Go for it. I would have done it if we had had the money. As it was DS1 had atrocious colic and the sleep deprivation led to me going to live with my Mum for three months as husband was working away and I was in a very bad way. She had him in her room at night and changed and settled him after each feed. It saved my life. Actually if we could have afforded it I would loved to have done the whole Portland thing too!!

[gamerchick]

Bloody right do it if you have the money. Sleep makes the rest of life so much easier in the early days and it's not as if your baby will care.

[minipie]

If you can afford it, do it!

With hindsight I think 2-3 nights a week is perfect, enough that you get some decent sleep and recovery time (please make sure you do sleep - put earplugs in, do not watch what the night nanny is doing, just sleep!) and yet not so much that you feel you've handed over your baby iyswim.

[AudTheDeepMinded]

Also I think that those that find it odd/strange have never been in the situation where they are seriously considering either leaving baby in the nearest supermarket or dropping it out of the window....

[gonetoseeamanaboutadog]

No, you're not being remotely unreasonable or unfair to your baby. It's a very good idea.

[BoffinMum]

Bloody ace idea. Who wouldn't want this?

[rookiemere]

YANBU. What on earth is weird about wanting to get some sleep? Also means you'll be much more able to devote attention to DC1 during the day as well who'll probably be feeling a bit left out with the new arrival.

[DollyBarton]

I'm all for hiring help for difficult things in life. I've a fab nanny who looks after the kids in the daytime as I work and when I had my most recent baby I only took 4 weeks off so kept her on throughout. It was lovely to be able to focus on the baby. I've never minded to bad nights from my 2nd onwards but maybe that's because I'm working from home and if the night is really bad I can take an hrs nap at lunchtime. But definitely definitely if you can afford it, make your life smoother, easier, better. Otherwise what is that money actually for??

[Arborea]

YA so NBU. I am sure if you had a close relative nearby who was able and willing to do it you wouldn't give it another thought. Those of us who aren't so fortunate just have to pay for that kind of help, but I am sure that it's worth every penny and will be doing likewise if DC2 is as poor a sleeper as DC1

[QueenEnid]

Currently 6 months preggers here and would love to know how much this costs?! Sounds a fab idea!

[DollyBarton]

Cheaper than a night on the beers Queen, that's for certain!

[ToffeeForEveryone]

Don't feel guilty at all, getting some help so you can rest is the best thing you can do for baby and the whole family.

Remember, it does get better

[midlifehope]

I wish I had them where I live!! YADNBU - it's survival!

[Buddahbelly]

I never even knew these people existed. If I knew and could have afforded it I would have done it for my ds without a second thought. He was a shock to the system at sleeping, and I know only too well the exhaustion and what it can do to your body & mental state - Dp came home from work at 6, would do the last feed of the night at 10.30 but everything else, I was basically on my own, 3 night feeds plus all day alone.

I said to my mum at 1 point that I understood why some people hurt babies. Think she realised I wasn't coping and started helping a bit more. Dont even give it a second thought Op but do make sure you get some rest, nice bath and a good sleep will be something to look forward to on the days shes coming.

[NeedACleverNN]

If I knew this existed I would have done it! Yanbu OP

[jclm]

You are doing the right thing. Well done hun x

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

You awful mother. Imagine doing something that will benefit both you and your child!

It will do you the world of good, I wish I'd known of such nannies when ds was a baby.

[suit2845321oie]

Go for it but hand the baby over to her do not consider doing anything different and get some sleep. If bottle feeding get your full 9 hours and you'll feel like a new woman. If BF do a feed before you go to bed, give EBM for any feeds between 10 and 6, put a towel under you to allow for leakage and don't get up in the night until you feed at 6. You won't hurt supply although you will be very full. Can you tell I've done the night nurse thing?

[brummiesue]

How much do these cost? I want one!

[Marymaymay]

Don't get me wrong, I had a hellish time of sleep. I was on my own with her and she physically slept on my chest for 12 weeks, never napping for longer than 20 mins during the day. I probably got 20 hours sleep a week at best until she was 9 months old.

For me, in retrospect, doing all of this on my own meant we built a great bond and I would do it again.

I'm not saying anyone is being unreasonable, just that I personally would find it odd to have someone I don't know in my house and looking after my child as I slept. I wouldn't have wanted to have a relative to do it either.

It's not about making anyone feel guilty. I'm just saying I wouldn't be happy doing it that way. Like I said, each to their own.

[DetestableHerytike]

Yanbu of course!

[roses2]

Where can I find a night nanny and how much do they cost?

My DS 2 is 4.5 months and sleeps in one hour increments. Occasionally he is up every 15 minutes. DS 1 gets up around 7am and DH works away a lot.

[JerryFerry]

No you are not being unfair to your baby, you are being very sensible and caring. Your anxiety is all part of your exhaustion and hormonal overload, and quite understandable. Try to take those opportunities to rest.

I say this as someone who had day and night nurses for months who didn't make the most of it.

[BonerSibary]

Obviously not. You need rest yourself to recover fully and quickly from your EMCS. Trust me.