To ask if pick up/put down has worked for anyone?

[SpudTato]

My little sleep dodger is 4.5 months old. Sleep has been an issue since 9 weeks when he started waking every 45 mins to an hour. That has improved slightly so overnight we now get a 2-3 hour stretch generally, but he can take an hour to resettle.

His naps have reduced to 20-30 minutes even if sleeping on me, and takes an hour or so of rocking to get him to sleep, during which he cries hysterically.
We started pu/pd yesterday, he settles when picked up then screams in fury when put down, and we ended up rocking him in the pram anyway. Overnight very similar, did eventually sleep but only when we rocked the cot /fed to sleep. Both of us are exhausted and not sure what to do. He's too young for controlled crying, which I am not sure I could do anyway and laughs in the face of shush pat ect.

Yeah, I know ... (Weary sigh.)

I have no problem with co sleeping but even our bloody doctor told us to leave him to cry . The number of 'well meaning' meddling nosey bastards who've told me he will never be out of the bed, or 'how long at you planning to breastfeed him for? (He's only 8 months ffs!)
In my mind, they're all individuals- my friend has a baby that's never been into cuddles and prefers bring left by himself to sleep. Ours has been welded to me since day one. We try to keep a decent Routine but he won't sleep in his cot. He seems to need us near and really that's fine. He's tiny.
The constant waking I suspect has a physical cause - we are waiting on appointments to investigate

I also find co-sleeping uncomfortable. We have a cosleeping crib but he won't go in it much, has to nose to tit so he can latch when ever he wants. My hips and shoulder hurts because I can't move and he's been very patchy this week so my nipples are a bit tender. I also leak loads so wake up in puddles of cold milk. He does sleep though!

I won't do CIO or CC but might try pupd again.

Like you OP, not had more than 3 hours since January. It's aged me.

Yes! All hail Baby Whisperer :)

Amby Nest baby hammock! Holds them as if you were cradling them, so not flat, and if they squirm it just bounces them a little. We got one for our first DD at 4months and she slept 3 hours straight away. Before that the longest had been 45minutes. Still using it for child 3 naps at 8 months so totally my best investment. There's usually several on eBay and they are easy to travel with too.

We had a nature's nest. Brilliant until DD worked out how to get out of it at 8 months

Co-sleep. We did it with our sleep dodger but only after a long period of trying to do things "correctly". He just wanted to be near to someone. It did take a long time before he was in bed on his own (years not months) but we think it built a trust and a confidence in us that might not have been there otherwise.

Not trying to be pushy as I respect we all have our own ways of doing things, but can I ask what about co-sleeping you find uncomfortable OP? Wondering if any of us might be able to suggest a different position or something that could work better for you both.

Hope you've had a bit more sleep!

shivering no more sleep unfortunately
I move a lot in my sleep, LO wants to stay latched while co -sleeping so I get very stiff very quickly as I have to be still. He also wants to snuggle into my chest to the point that I probably slightly irrationally can't sleep as I worry about him suffocating (very very ample chest! )

You have my full sympathy as a survivor of a baby who never slept for longer than about an hour for a full year. Lots of good advice on here, we tried almost everything too, the only thing I can categorically say made a difference was seeing a cranial osteopath.

It was like magic - might be worth looking into? We went from having to pace up and down rocking DS for three hrs to get him off to sleep (fun times, those) to the first night after seeing the CO I fed him, burped him, put him in the crib and...he blinked and drifted off to sleep. Honestly: magic. It was like getting a different baby

For what it's worth, it all seems like a distant memory now as he's a brilliant sleeper. You will get through this, even if it doesn't feel like it at times!

Thanks andother I'm considering it. My cynical brain is desperately resisting though!

Sorry it's not got any better, I kind of hoped you'd say its magically improved Do you have much support to help you cope? Can you nap in the daytime?

I know what you mean about the stiffness, I sometimes wake up with a dead arm! We change position - switch sides etc, which helps. If you're a wriggler though I guess it's more tricky. For me it's just been trial and error really. It was a relief when I realised it's fine to move and shift position. I find baby settles very quickly when next to me, so I can wriggle about a bit until I'm comfy.

I can't remember your OP, do you have him in a crib next to the bed?

I read somewhere that babies are kind of naturally drawn to mum's chest, and that this position means you're pretty much face to face. Apparently this is great for them because your breath on their face stimulates their breathing so they have leas irregular breathing than if they we're on their own. Of course babies are ok on their own too, I don't mean to give you anything to worry about, but I just mean that safe co-sleeping is pretty safe, even with big boobs Safe being no alcohol/ drugs, safer if you're ebf, no bedding that could get them too hot or wedged in somewhere, etc - there's stuff online about guidelines.

Also - what's the big picture like? By which I mean how's baby's feeding, health, do you wind down before sleep time, could he be getting over stimulated or over tired before you start getting him off, wind/ reflux, etc?

Good luck tonight.

AndOther What did the cranial osteopath do?? Sounds amazing!

Only skim read so apologies if already discussed but the gradual withdrawal method was our life safer - have you tried that?

Hi shivering my DH shares the night wake ups so it's not too hideous! Unfortunately I just can't get away from rocking him to sleep - which defeats the point of pupd!
We have a good bedtime routine which had been in place since 8 weeks: nappy free time and stories, then bath, massage, fed and bed (DH does most of it). No convincing signs of reflux and he's clearing wind easily now he's a bit older.

He's in a crib next to the bed, Co sleeping is generally the early hours when I can't take another resettle. I follow the guidelines for safe co sleeping, it's just a bit of an irrational fear!
andother what did the osteopath do? I have heard good things but my sceptical brain struggles with complementary therapies
mumsgone I was worried he's a bit young? How old was your LO?

nappy free time and stories, then bath, massage, fed and bed

I'd change the order a smidge to put the feed before the massage. It's a good healthy sleep habit.

PUPD just wound up my baby.

If he screams whilst you're rocking him, I'd stop rocking him.

Do the routine - a shorter one for naps, but a routine nonetheless - I'd then just hold him, stood still, patting his bum. Stop the rocking.

You can then build up to putting him down with you there and a bit of a bum rub and then putting him down without you there. Just do the same preamble to wind down to a nap each time and try to limit awake time to 90 minutes or so.

The repetition will eventually sink in that when you're in his dark room holding him after a new nappy and a massage, it is time to go to sleep.

Believe me I'm the worlds biggest sceptic when it comes to 'complementary therapies' so you're in good company. I literally do not believe a word of any of that shit, but I reached a point where I would try anything to get some sleep.

The cranial osteopath we saw did... what seemed to be nothing! He photographed DS face before and after, the treatment itself was done with him sitting on my knee, he just seemed to touch different points on his head, neck, back and face. I guess kind of like a refelxologist would do to your feet maybe?

I did have a very (very) quick labour, which with hindsight I think was probably as traumatic for DS ( and me..) as a very long one. Plus he was a verifiable GIANT so reckon for whatever reason had been all squished up awkwardly on the inside of me, which a gentle 'realignment' sorted out. Lying down flat in a crib/bed has to be so different to floating curled up in a ball.

I hate myself for recommending something so vague as a possible solution, but for the sake of the £40 our session cost, it was the best money I've ever spent!

Thanks andother that's pretty much the point I'm at!
He was also a quick labour and presented with his head tilted to one side so I contacted the local osteopath today. It -hopefully- can't hurt and if it helps it'll be wonderful

Hmm strike through fail

Fingers crossed you get some rest soon. It's so tough but you WILL get through it!