to think my friend should pay his mother back before booking holidays?

[00100001]

My friend recently borrowed £1200 off his mother because he swapped jobs, and didn't save up any money, and didn't relaise he wouldn't get paid for 6 weeks. He borrowed the money to pay his rent, bills, transport etc.

Now he has been paid. He now wants to book an expensive holiday for himself. He wants to go to the USA for two weeks.

He sees no issue with booking this holiday,a nd sees no need to pay his mother back. He says he needs this holiday, and he has to book it now to save money on the flights. So, he shouldn't have to pay his mum back yet. and he will look to pay his mum back, once he's paid for his holiday and saved up spending money. (this will take a few months)

I said to him, the decent thing to do would be, pay back mum first and then book a holiday he can actually afford.

He thinks I'm insane for saying that. TBH if you pushed him, he would go on to say that he shouldn't even have to pay his mum back.

This has nothing to do with me I know, I know.

But...AIBU for thinking he should pay his mother back first??

[Rainbowqueeen]

You saying that he thinks you are insane for suggesting he pays his mum back first before booking a holiday sounds to me like there is no payment plan in place and that either he hasn't discussed with his mum when he is going to pay her back or else he knows she expect it straight away but isn't going to do that as it doesn't suit him.

Otherwise he would have just straight out said "oh mum and I have agreed I will pay her back 50 quid a week" or "mum and I have agreed that I can start paying her back in 6 months" or whatever the arrangement was.

honestly, if it was my friend I would lose some respect for them, never ever lend them money myself and probably start to distance myself.

[Myusernameismyusername]

I think it's ok to question the morals of your friends from time to time. Sometimes things make us think WTF am I still friends with you when they do something wrong, or stupid. What's the point in a friend if you can't stop them and say 'have you thought this through?' But you can only advise them, nothing else. And if it's a big deal breaker for you morally then maybe take a step back from your friendship
I get you that it's really annoying to stand and watch I've felt the same before but not much I could really do

[EveryoneElsie]

YANBU, and to me that would be an eye opener.
I wouldnt lend him any money for starters...

[Myusernameismyusername]

I've ended a friendship before over something I really disagreed with them doing. It was horrible but I just could not reconcile it

[LotsOfShoes]

There is an important lesson here, OP: NEVER lend him money!!!! You now know he would never pay you back.

[UpsiLondoes]

Well if he discussed personal finances with you, you have the right to judge him on his bad decisions! Entitled prick. I feel sorry for his mum, who is in hindsight thinking she bailed him out way too much with no consequences if he now thinks this is normal.