to find the 'semicolon trend' a bit icky?

[Banderwassnatched]

A precis of the semicolon project is to promote awareness of depression, anxiety and attempted suicide. To borrow a phrase from 'Project Semicolon'

' A semicolon is used when an author could’ve ended a sentence but chose not to.
You are the author and the sentence is your life.'

You can buy semicolons stamped on jewellery, T shirts, de cals for your car, people get them tattooed onto them to promote awareness or commemorate a suicide attempt.

I understand the idea is to start a conversation about mental health, to remove stigma and to publicly commemorate a private struggle. But it feels a bit commodified to me- as if this symbol could encapsulate what it is like for every single person who has experienced mental illness. 'My story isn't over' is a phrase I find a bit trite. I almost feel like the semicolon is glamorising suicide attempts by turning the symbol into a trend.

I suspect IABU. And that I've not articulated these thoughts terribly well. What do you say?

[Banderwassnatched]

I have looked it up, Bagpuss, I've read about what they do. I was disappointed by how little they can offer, in terms of practical support and advice to people who are suffering. They are selling things to people who are willing to give money to support mental health causes. But what are they giving them in return?

Glamorizing may not be the word I want. 'Romanticising' suicide, or Disnifying it. Like that painting of Ophelia in the boat- implying an inherent dignity or beauty or profundity in attempting suicide which isn't there. Like the 'Genie, you're free' tweets after the death of Robin Williams. If I really wanted to deter people from suicide, I'd focus on the indignity of it, the emptiness. I think the symbol invests the idea of suicide with a sort of significance it doesn't deserve.

[ProfessorBranestawm]

I thought it was quite nice until I read about the religious origins of it (can't remember where I read it now though, it was a while ago)

I would like a tattoo to remind myself that I can get through anything, as I have a long history of abuse, MH issues etc. But I don't like the idea of having the same tattoo as lots of other people, like it's a trend I'm following. So I'm thinking of choosing something that's more personal to me - I'm considering a musical rest symbol as it says, to me, take a breather and then carry on. And I'm musical myself, with a music-inspired middle name, so it feels more 'me' IYSWIM

[hazelangell]

My friends sister commited suicide in April, my best friends father in law last year and before I had my son I made attempts.

During my lengthy battle with depression I felt so alone, I felt ashamed, I felt desperation. People knew, but people didn't want to talk to me about it, like a dirty little secret it was swept under the carpet because it made THEM feel uncomfortable. Being able to identify that I wasn't alone at that point in my life really would have made a massive impact and it's likely I would have struck up a conversation with someone based purely on their semi-colon tattoo - perhaps a friendship would have been formed, who knows.

YANBU - everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if I was still at my lowest and had got this tattoo, then read this thread or heard comments like this, I possibly would have felt shame all over again and tried to remove it myself. Not to sound dramatic but that was the extent of my illness.

[TheoriginalLEM]

i ageee with your sentiment OP but i think "icky"is apoor choice of word.

[dilys4trevor]

First I have heard of it but as a suicide widow it sounds very trivialising.

I guess it depends really though if the people who are wearing the t shirts etc have suffered from mental health issues themselves (then it's their business) or if it has simply become a bit cool (that's where it feels a bit wrong).

[BagpussOhSagpuss]

I do agree with you OP, regarding the selling of tat etc, it is distasteful. Also, I agree that the help on offer on the site is not always very useful( but is in the U.S. So not really relevant in U.K.)
In my ( unfortunately extremely comprehensive) experience of children with very severe mental health issues the website itself is largely irrelevant. It's more the idea of having something they can belong to,something that shows they are not alone, that they are not the only one who has felt like this. Something that shows that there is hope. Taken in its original intention, the semi colon signifies recovery, it was never meant to be a "badge of honour", and the kids I know don't see it like that. Most of them don't have it tattoed on, or wear badges or anything else. Occasionally you will see it drawn in biro on a wrist, usually at times when the dark thoughts are becoming overwhelming, and in this case it's a shield, something to keep them safe, give them hope that they will get better, remind them that they won't always feel like this and help them not to make that decision to harm.

[exWifebeginsat40]

if anyone thinks that someone who has survived a suicide attempt wants to 'romanticise' it I would say they are very much mistaken.

if something brings comfort and lessens the sense of otherness around serious mental illness I would hope you could simply disregard it if it doesn't relate to your experience.

there is nothing disneyfied or glamourous about trying to live after you wanted to die.

[Bogeyface]

I dont think the issue here is people who have genuinely been in the darkest pits of mental illness, but those who havent and yet identify with this as a trend rather than as a way of reminding themselves what they have overcome.

There has always been a tendency, especially amongst teens, to dramatize their lives and experiences and I wouldnt be at all surprised to hear of teens who use this as a way to say "look at me...." But, twas ever thus and if it wasnt this I daresay it would be something else.

[Banderwassnatched]

eW- I apologise if that caused offence, but that's not quite what I meant. That symbol doesn't just mean whatever the person wearing it wants to mean, it is also an interaction between the symbol and the person looking at it- and that is where I think there is a potential to see the suicide attempt as something with, shall we say, 'tragic beauty'. There is a fair amount of romantic and poetic suicide in the canon- just look at Romeo and Juliet. Or Hamlet- and it is that view of suicide that I feel a semicolon might promote, in the minds of people looking at it.

[Banderwassnatched]

...and I say that knowing that as a a teenager I was extremely susceptible to that kind of idea, of self harm and suicide being somehow profound.

[exWifebeginsat40]

I see what you're saying but to put any sort of responsibility on someone with this tattoo for how another person might interpret it is very unfair.

I do get that social media makes all these things more...accessible. and vulnerable young people need our help and protection.

I don't think we fundamentally disagree. I will admit that this is very close to home for me and that probably clouds my judgement. my defensiveness wasn't meant as an attack and I apologise if I came across as arsey.

[BagpussOhSagpuss]

Thing is Bogey, that is precisely the issue here.
The semi colon has provided comfort to those who are/ were as you very accurately described it in the darkest pits of mental illness.
It is being hijacked by the " look at me" drama queens now, and as is shown in the OP, and other pp's this is leading people to believe it's something it's not, something overly dramatic and romantic.something that glamourises suicide not signifies hope. There is a real danger that someone who has genuinely suffered, and has dragged themselves back up to something approaching normality will be tipped back over the edge by a thoughtless, and probably unintentional comment regarding the significance of their tattoo.
They will have spent their lives fearing ridicule and misunderstanding, and then suddenly, here it is, slap in their face, with someone seeming to think they are just being a " drama queen teen" .
I don't know what the answer is, as you say, if it wasn't this, it would be something els, but we would do well to remember that not everyone who seems to be " jumping on the bandwagon" actually is.

[BagpussOhSagpuss]

And like ex wife, I too would like to apologise if I seem a bit tetchy, I do agree with most of what is being said on this thread, it's also very close to home for me and, maybe, I am not able to be truly objective.
For what it's worth, I am pleased to see a thread where people with different views on a subject can discuss them properly, there's no personal attacks, no nastiness, just a lot of different ideas and views being exchanged, in a thoughtful way. Hope it stays like this.

[Banderwassnatched]

here it is, slap in their face, with someone seeming to think they are just being a " drama queen teen"

Now I'm rather cross. because you've put all these words in my mouth. I never said bandwagon, drama queen or anything of the sort. I don't believe that anyone gets that tattoo, or that tote bag, or whatever who doesn't genuinely believe they have done battle with their own mental illness demons, that is not the issue. It's not the people who choose it I would take issue with- it is the companies making money from it, it is the symbol itself which, I feel, cheapens something that is highly personal and is different for every single person who encounters it, not the people wearing it.

[CaspoFungin]

I've got a friend and I noticed he had a semi colon tattoo which I thought was odd so asked him about it and he looked all embarrassed and was really elusive with his answer. A few days later I came across this semi colon thing online and now understand what it's all about. But I can't understand why my friend, if embarrassed to explain what it means, would get it tattooed, obviously people are going to ask about it.

[Banderwassnatched]

Oops, formatting fail there. That line is not meant to be crossed through!

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

This has been around for quite a long time now so I think if it was going to reach peak popularity, it would have happened. It's sort of old hat now, people know what it means but that's all.

I have a bit of an issue with the idea that we should promote the indignity of suicide. I understand your point about not wanting to romanticise it and make it seem somehow profound or beautiful because it's death, and it's not profound or beautiful, but equally it shouldn't be vilified. It's an option. I don't think many people would want to take the option away from people, even if it were possible - look at the outpouring of support for euthanasia, including the case this week of a girl who had ptsd and anxiety and was allowed to choose to die.

It should remain an option and ideally a neutral one. People who have come back from suicidal thoughts and decided to keep living deserve support and I think that's what the semicolon project aimed to provide, although there is now a big commercial aspect with the selling - the original movement was very grassroots, drawing the semicolon with a biro etc which felt more authentic.

For people who are very easily attracted to suicide, I think there is stronger movements that need to be stopped before this one. The tumblrs full of beautiful suicide pictures, sharing of tips, the glamorisation of letting go of pain in thst way. There's a lot of songs and music videos that encourage it too.

[MsBojangles]

YABNU. Like many things in this era of social media, it's nothing more than the latest trite badge to mark yourself out as just that little bit different from everybody else.

I say that as someone who has dealt/is dealing with related issues.

[BagpussOhSagpuss]

Banders, I never said you did, in fact it was me that described a drama teen queen. I am sorry if you thought that was aimed at you, it really wasn't.

[BagpussOhSagpuss]

Sorry, posted too soon.
I meant to finish that with...
It really wasn't, it was more a comment on how wider society can view these things.

[Banderwassnatched]

Sorry Bagpuss! This thread is a bit of a hotbed of misunderstanding.

[BagpussOhSagpuss]

It's a tricky subject, but I am glad you brought it up. These things need discussing.
And I have found it enlightening. Obviously I have always looked at it from our personal point of view, and how much this little symbol has helped. I didn't know how commercial it has become until you started this thread, and actually, we fundamentally agree, just coming at it from different directions maybe.

[Banderwassnatched]

Thanks to everyone who commented, by the way, never started a thread over here before!

[ExtraHotLatteToGo]

...and here I was, getting ready to shove you in the direction of pedants corner 😁

This is the first I've ever heard of it.

I guess there's both good & bad in it - as with most things.

[Mitchell90]

I find your comment about glamourising suicide ignorant i am a bipolar sufferer and have attempted to take my own life and its only for the grace of god im still here and having that semi colon can sometimes bring you comfort and put you at ease when you are out of your comfort zone and then see that sign on someone else share that smile and that goes a long way to put you at ease