Is this rude or my fault?

[Wanderingwondering]

Dd's party yesterday. I sent out invitations a while ago including one to a girl who's mum I don't know very well-only to say hi to at school gate.

This mum replied to the invitation by text saying that her daughter would love to come.

Stupidly, I didn't reply to the message.

Said girl didn't turn up yesterday which was a shame as there were only a few invited so it stood out. The other girls asked where she was and dd said she must have got lost on the way

I know I probably should have replied to her message with a 'great, see you then' but the message must have come through when I was distracted.

Awkwardly we have another party to go to today-what do I say if this mum and girl are there?

[Wanderingwondering]

Seems that way yes. But hey ho. Dd hasn't mentioned it again but I'm still a bit cross as it would have been nice to invite one of her other friends instead.

[CodyKing]

apparently she has form for not showing up

so just rude then

[ScarlettSahara]

Glad it was ok in the end- was going to say don't assume it's you. We've had no shows which are annoying when you have catered for that child or paid for an organised party etc. The only one where I approached the mum she said they were out enjoying themselves so decided to stay out! 😕

[Wanderingwondering]

She wasn't there-phew! Mentioned it to another parent and apparently she has form for not showing up.
It's a shame for the girl as I guess she won't get many invites next year.
I'll still make sure I do the confirmation thing in future though

[whenthewindblows]

I always try to reply but DS was at a party yesterday and the parent hadn't replied to say she had received my RSVP. It wouldn't have occurred to me not to take him just because she hadn't replied, so I don't think you were being unreasonable.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Nosireebob glad I'm not the only one that's made that mistake. I remember my oldest ds saying "I'm not cross mum, just disappointed" gah

[nosireebob]

I recently did that - I completely got the date wrong and stood at the party venue a day too late, kid excited, present in hand, no friends there. Staff remembered the name and I got a 'oh no, so-and-so's party was yesterday. Wailing kid, red faced mum. Luckily a very gracious other mum when I explained what had happened and dropped the present round later that day
. Felt like such an idiot though as I know how expensive parties are...

[StealthPolarBear]

Yes if you see her today you say sone variation of "you were missed yesterday, was everything ok?".
If she's remembered she'll be the one feeling awkward not you.

[greybead]

She probably just forgot. Nothing to do with you not replying to her acceptance text. Some people do, some people don't. You are overthinking it.

[lifesalongsong]

I now have visions of an endless stream of text acknowlding the acknowledgement of the acknowledgement of the acknowledgement of the acknowledgement of the acknowledgement .... ad infinitum

No one will have time to actually attend the parties

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Maybe she got the wrong day and will turn up at your house today with dd in her best party outfit.
I've muddled up dates for kids' parties in the past and once turned up a day early with my two dcs in fancy dress at someone's house. It was awkward and my dcs were mortified.

[Wanderingwondering]

I felt a bit awkward ringing or texting to see if she was coming as I didn't want to make her feel bad if she had forgotten.
I was really fretting about it last night as you can see from the timing of my post but in the light of day it doesn't seem such an issue.
I'm a bit shocked that people can be so blasé about missing parties though.
I'm hoping she no shows to the party today too so I don't have to say anything!

[TiredOfSleep]

If she was expecting a response, she should have text the day before to ask for confirmation. She didn't, it's her lookout.

[GinnyMcGinFace]

Cripes, you have to RSVP to an RSVP nowadays??

[Lweji]

Surely your child spends the days before it whipping themself into a frenzy of excitement so that it's just not possible to forget it?

Not all...
And there are often too many parties already.

[AskBasil]

I don't know how it's possible to forget a child's party tbh blinkowl.

Surely your child spends the days before it whipping themself into a frenzy of excitement so that it's just not possible to forget it?

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

If it was a small party, and your dd and her friends were asking where their friend was, why didn't you ring or text the mum when the party started to see if she was coming?

[AskBasil]

No it wasn't your fault.

She's rude.

If she'd been concerned that you hadn't received her text, she could have phoned you to just double check.

[blinkowl]

Maybe she forgot. I've forgotten 3 parties so far (DS is 7)

[Lweji]

Sometimes texts aren't delivered, so I think it's best to acknowledge it arrived, but then you don't know if your confirmation of the confirmation was delivered, so she should confirm again.

[228agreenend]

You don't have to reply to her text.

She was rude not to inform you that she couldn't make it.

I wouldn't worry over it.

[diddl]

It's not necessary to reply to an RSVP is it?

She may have forgotten & then been too embarrassed to arrive late?

Perhaps the etiquette is different with texts?

Would she be able to tell that you had read it?

[RuthyToothy]

In fact she was rude not to text you a sorry can't make it

We have no idea what might have happened to preclude attending the party or texting to explain their absence.

[Mirandawest]

I doubt it was anything to do with you not replying to her RSVP.