DP's will AIBU?

[fj3568]

DP and I have been together for 8 years and live together. We live in my house with my DD and his home is rented out. He has a grown son who lives in Ireland from a college relationship. They have minimal contact and meet about once a year when DP visits his parents. DP's son only contacts him when he needs money. They are not close e.g D P only learned son was engaged through Facebook ( a week after he'd called looking for money which DP duly sent) and doesn't expect we will be invited to the wedding. DP and I intend retiring together living in my home in about 8 years. . It's my view that our assets should pass to one another if one of us dies and then to our dependant's ( my DD AND DP's son) after the surviving partner passes. However DP is in the course of drafting his will to leave his house to his son and his pension to his sister. He says I don't need the money but if anything happened to him ( besides being devastated - obs) my comfortable retirement would be affected. AIBU to think we should look after one another first and both our children afterwards and that a sister should merit some benefit in a will but not at the expense of your partner? no desire to rob DP's son of his birthright I just think couples should share their assets and leave money to others afterwards.

[AcrossthePond55]

My aunt (a widow) remarried (a widower). They had a pre-nup that specified that each's possessions were willed to their respective children with the proviso that there would be a life tenancy for him in her home (he sold his and paid for many, many upgrades to hers). He passed first and his children were given his personal possessions with included valuable jewelry that belonged to his first wife but that my aunt wore (with his children's OK). Pensions didn't come into it as they were payable to a spouse only upon death.

Both of you have primary responsibility to your children and should leave your respective estates to them.

[Damselindestress]

I've seen stories on here before about people being left with nothing because their parent left everything to their step parent assuming it would be shared with or eventually passed on to the DC but the step parent didn't do that, as they have no obligation to. You should make provision for your DD in your will and your DP is not BU to provide for his DS however he should have thought of you too and YANBU to be unhappy he hasn't considered or included you at all and has instead left his pension to his sister.

[curren]

It is very telling that he feels no obligation or desire to provide for you financially at all

The OP said he wil be providing something for her
He will provide something for me too I' m genuinely not sure if I am unreasonable to think we should share our assets as a couple.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

fj3568

"At the moment he will receive my insurance and pension but my DD is my main beneficiary. The arrangement leaves him vulnerable too as he'd have to move out of our home if anything happened me."

So your house will go to your DD with no provision for him to stay?
If that is the case then that part of the will is a reflection of yours.

[Inertia]

I'm surprised that he is leaving his pension to his sister.

You should leave everything to your daughter. Your partner has shown that he doesn't think he should make provision for you, so he sure as hell won't provide for your daughter if you die first. If you leave your house and assets to him and you die first, he will leave your assets to his son and sister and your daughter will have nothing.

[Penfold007]

You are both financially independent adults and you both have your own child to inherit.
I think he's being very practical ensuring that his son and sister will be provided for after his death whilst also knowing that you will be comfortable. You'd be wise to do the same and ensure your DD benefits from your estate (if that's what you want).