To think this wasn't an insulting thing to say to a doctor at all?

[MissusWrex]

I was discharged from hospital yesterday.

As a bit of background I have had a number of miscarriages, one quite late on which had to do with problems with my placenta.

I wasn't really happy with my discharge and felt I still had a lot of unanswered questions and concerns (ward doctor just told the midwife outside it was ok for me to go, didn't come in to explain everything. The midwife was newish I think and tried but didn't know any of my history and didn't know much for certain.

So I've sent this email to my consultant (nightmare to get on the phone) I haven't slept or ate since my discharge, just feel incredibly anxious and to be honest would rather just get him out where he can be looked after! I'm 34 1/2 weeks.

My friend said it sounded like I was second guessing professionals and they would probably get the hump with my. I thought I was just expressing my concerns but am a bit worried now.

I'll paste it here with details taken out. What do you think?

'Dear Consultant,

My name is Miss Wrex and I'm one of your Ante Natal clinic patients.

I was discharged from ward (number) yesterday afternoon but have been feeling very anxious since, though I'm not sure if this is due to previous history or if I am right to be.

I was admitted on Wednesday night with a very hard and uncomfortable stomach (it stayed rock hard for a quite a few hours, did not get softer at any point during this period), pain behind my cessation scar and back cramps.

Ctg monitors were fine, baby's heartbeat was fine and he was moving as usual.

Yesterday I was discharged after having a scan in the afternoon that showed there was a good blood flow through my umbilical cord but that the baby has now got static growth (AC measurement). I've had a first dose of steroids and will be coming back for a second dose this afternoon. Also I was told I'd have ctg monitors twice a week and anc every two weeks (? I think that's the right way around!).

The thing is I can't shake the feeling something is wrong and have become very anxious. This is mainly because the first doctor I spoke to on triage mentioned that sometime if the is a problem with the placenta that it can cause the hard stomach (this has happened a couple of times since but only stayed hard for between an hour/ 2 hours since) which was identified as a possible cause with my late miscarriage and that I would have a Doppler scan to check the placenta. Which I haven't had. He also said that because I'd had a previous bleed behind my placenta that it could possibly happen again so they would keep me in to check.

Also since late morning yesterday I have noticed a big reduction in baby's movements. I was put on a ctg monitor yesterday evening and his heart beat was ok and he had four movements on the monitor so they said it was ok. He usually has between 20/30 movement on the monitors and each time when he has his active periods through the day or night, I used to find it reassuring he was so active!

This has dropped to between 8 that I've managed to count so far since leaving yesterday afternoon. Is this still enough or should I be concerned that it's not at all like his usually patterns for the last two months? He moved a total of 12 times yesterday that I could feel when it usually would be much more than this. Could a hard stomach have anything to do with this or mean I can't feel him as well as previously?

I apologise for all the questions but I didn't get much chance to speak to a doctor before I left and am unsure if I'm being over anxious because of previous losses or am right to feel something is wrong. I'm just so very worried about anything happening to him while he is in there.

Thank you,

Miss Wrex'

[Hairyfecker]

Skyofdiamonds OP realised this some time ago. But if she didn't understand that the Doppler had been done, whose fault was that exactly?? I don't think you can be OTT in that situation, and look how much happier the OP is now someone has taken the time to explain things to her properly

[Room101isWhereIUsedToLive]

Glad that all is well.
Perhaps dropping an email to the consultant to say thank you for her reassurance might be an idea?

[littledrummergirl]

I'm really pleased for you. Great news.

[lem73]

Good luck Op. Don't be afraid to voice your concerns. You're the mum and you know best!

[skyofdiamonds]

You seem to be misunderstood.

You state that the blood flow through the cord was fine on scan and that you hadn't had a doppler to check the placenta.

The blood flow through the cord IS the doppler.

It is called an umbilical artery artery, which measures the resistance of blood from placenta to baby. That is the ONLY monitoring that is possible of your placenta.

When you say static growth? What were the centiles at the previous scan and the recent one? AC dropping off is not sufficient to label your pregnancy as 'static' growth. It could be a over generous measurement at the previous scan, poor fetal position etc. Seemingly no other signs of IUGR were seen on the scan so you are being way OTT. It is their job to interpret these results, and they have, and they have submitted no concerns as the outcome.

[zoobaby]

Really pleased to read your progress Missus. When you have a chance, maybe you'd consider sending positive feedback to PALs? Keep up the counting and if ever concerned, just go in. Best wishes to you and your LO.

[PacificDogwod]

I came on to say that your email was perfectly reasonable and in now way rude, but I see events have overtaken me - in a good way!

IME (as a HCP AND as a patient) these situations always arise because of poor communication - some people are not very good at communicating complex things in simple terms, but many more HCP are too pressured/too caught up in doing 25 things at the same time that they forget how scary it is at the receiving end. I am not defending that in any shape or form, but sadly these 'soft skills', listening, explaining, reassured, are not valued. They are not countable or auditable, so they don't 'count' when they should count the most IMO.



I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes really well, Wrex
Fwiw, my DS2 was born at 31 weeks after I had been in hospital for 5 weeks, he is now 12 and tall, strong, clever and, most importantly, well. But it was v scary at the time and a huge part of got me through it at the time was that I always felt really well looked after and that I had trust in my team. It makes all the difference to know what The Plan is.

[Buckinbronco]

What a brilliant thread. So pleased for you wrex!

[MissusWrex]

That's lovely Narp and Pegs

[Narp]

It is amazing the way that the kindness of particular nurses and doctors at this time can stay with you.

I still get a bit teary when I think about the midwife who talked to me in the middle of the night after DS1 was born, and the volunteer who gave me a bed bath after DS2.

[MissusWrex]

It absolutely is, I'll be forever grateful to the consultant for going out of her way for me today, I'm well aware she did not have to.

Also the two lovely midwives I've seen today who made sure I didn't feel at all 'silly'.

My anxiety had gone through the roof, like I fully expected ds to be snatched away from me at the finish line. I'm glad they (and you lovely lot) brought me back down to earth again.

As for my friend she has form for being very respectful (afraid?) of authority figures but she seems genuinely happy that I got the reaction I did and not what she was imagining.

[Narp]

Great news MissusWrex

[PegsPigs]

Feeling in control of your care is a big deal when you're pregnant. The thought of losing a baby this late on because you were made to feel silly is not even worth thinking about. I'm so glad you feel reassures because you know what the plan is.

I was discharged postnatally with far too little information on my ongoing care and in considerable pain. Having a lovely GP listen to me and explain her plan to address my concerns improved both mental and physical health. It really is vital these things are explained to us.

[Excited101]

Fantastic!

[DartmoorDoughnut]

Brilliant update Wrex

[MissusWrex]

I'm so happy today you can call me what you like

Have just had my second steroid shot. It's amazing what a difference knowing what the plan is and being reassured has made.

Thank you!

[SingingMyOwnSpecialSong]

Great news.

[bumbleymummy]

Great news! :)

[SmallBee]

Fantastic news! Don't know why I called you Lem but really pleased at such a positive update

[MissusWrex]

Nearly finished up here but I feel much better.

Baby is back to his old bouncing self the second the straps went on! Obviously over the moon about this but wish he'd done it earlier!

I've now got two scans a week as well as the Doppler and ctg monitor.

The consultant has been so lovely. She called me while I was in the hospital and explained through everything and what the plan is so I'm much more relaxed now. It's not even her day on! (I felt awful about that, figured if she wasn't at work she wouldn't read it until she was but she was really nice)

[SmallBee]

Any update Lem? Hope all is well.

[PeppasNanna]

Good luck Op.
Let us know how you get on.

Send the email!

[Donthate]

Lots of luck. Of course you are worried it is only natural

[scarednoob]

I am sure it's fine and he was just sleeping. I had a few reduced movement days plus GD and ended up on the ward with 3 x daily CTG monitoring - used to get really hysterical over the heart rate and few movements on occasions, and she was always fine.

That being said, you are definitely doing the right thing in going back. He's your baby and only you can say if you're unhappy. He needs you to be calm too, and the best way to do that is to get checked when you're nervous. Don't let any midwife make you feel bad or silly. You are being a very good mum in getting checked.

Did you see if the heartbeat was going up and down? One thing I noticed during my hours strapped to that machine was that there were often lots of movements that I just wasn't feeling at all.

Lots of luck - I am sure you and he are just fine!

[EweAreHere]

The letter is clear and reasonable.

But, as others have said, go back in to be checked. It is a significant decrease in movement, and you are worried about it. So go.