AIBU to join in with a Christian play group or service if not religious

[shatteredmama]

Hi, it's my first post, I'd really like your opinions, I have an 11 month old dd and am really struggling with pnd and anxiety, I don't have any family for support and only a few friends, none have dc. I thought play groups would be a good idea, and went to a few sure start groups but didn't feel comfortable with them or enjoy them at all.

Today I walked past a local church, saw lots of posters outside which gave the impression they provide services for the community, not just the followers (AA, bereavement meetings etc), so I popped in and was greeted by the most lovely woman who told me about their mum and baby groups and Sunday service with creche, she didn't ask about my religion but encouraged me to attend.

I'd love to go for the company and support and to give dd an opportunity to play with other babies, but feel awkward not being a practicing Christian, for info, I was Christened as a child, but am probably classed as an agnostic more than anything else now.

I don't want to offend any members of the church by attending, and don't know what to say if asked about my Faith, so, would I be cheeky and unreasonable to go? Would be particularly interested on views from those who go to church and groups.

[SaucyJack]

We go to one every week- and DD2 also attends Girl's Brigade.

I am a heathen and a cynic, and I could do without the God bothering given the choice..... but the Catch-22 being that it's usually the churchy types who are the only ones who are community-minded enough to run these groups in the first place.

Everyone else is in the pub.

[DriveInSaturday]

Go along and try it. They are unlikely to ask you about your faith. I took my son to two church toddler groups. Both were welcoming. One had a religious story session that went way over the toddlers' heads. The other one (where my son later went to pre-school) never did anything overtly religious except at Christmas and Easter, and then at a very simple level. I think they felt they showed their Christianity through their inclusive and caring approach. They didn't push it. The families and staff were certainly not all Christians, and included people of other religions.

[Junosmum]

I go to a playgroup run by a church (I'm a Christian but don't attend that church) and we actively encourage people of all faiths and none to join in.

We do also have a children's service once a month on a weekday, called "messy church" which is basically story telling and arts and crafts, and this does have a biblical base so may not appeal to those not of the Christian faith, though they are very much welcome.

[RockUnit]

Glad you've decided to go.

[Pufflehuff]

Go - BUT while it's 90% likely to be a group for everyone, there are religious ones out there too. We had two groups locally, and then one shut leaving only the religious one. The staff would go around bothering the parents, asking them if they'd like to hear about the word of God, and then a second round handing out leaflets about Christian-themed meetings that were coming up, and then before tidy-up time, they'd hand out small children's Bibles - to 3s and unders, what was the point? - and tell a brief Bible story and sing something about Praising Him.

I went three or four times because there was literally nothing else on, but then I decided I'd rather go mad with boredom at home or at the park instead, rather than constantly, firmly saying 'no thank you' for an hour and then having to leg it before watching them try and preach to howling babies.

[Boredworkingmum020]

If you want to please go. 99% of people at our toddler group don't attend church. It's offered as a service to the whole community, someone might mention some family services if you don't think its for you just politely decline no one will be offended. If you do want to pop along to the service rest assured that there will be many people there for many different reasons

[HeffalumpHistory]

I go to local church toddler group & not religious. I don't think about half of the mums are members of the church.
Don't worry about it. Hope you meet some nice people & enjoy it

[Amy106]

Glad to see you are going to give it a try. I hope you both have a great time.

[SnobblyBobbly]

Absolutely join. I'm not religious and made some of my best friends from a Christian baby group when I moved to my area. They were so welcoming and I went on to send my children to the Christian pre-school which I still miss!

Never once did we discuss religion. There were Christan based crafts on special occasions, but that was about as 'heavy' as it got.

Go for it, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

[honeysucklejasmine]

Definitely go. I go to my own churches group, and there are many non Christians (I assume! Honestly never asked about their faith or potential lack thereof) and no one cares. It's a community group, not a group for church members only.

I also plan on starting to go to groups run by other local churches as they are generally very welcoming and relaxed.

[Pollyputhtekettleon]

We go to 4 different churches each week for mums groups. I'm athiest.

[alltheworld]

I went to one run in a sports club by a religious group. It was the most friendly nonjudgmental one I attended

[kawliga]

In most churches you won't be the only agnostic there. I know a few CoE vicars who are atheists or married to atheists. Belief in God not required.

It's rather quaint that you thought people in churches would be all religious. I doubt it was ever that way, tbh. Churches welcome everyone - that's what they're for.

[LadyCassandra]

Our church runs two playgroups a week and it is mainly attended by expat mums. It was a life line for me when I arrived and knew no-one. It is absolutely advertised as a nurturing place for mums and the kids get to play. Go, it will be good for you!

[novemberchild]

I'm a Christian - you would be most welcome at any of the groups I'm aware of.

[BackforGood]

Of course YANBU.
You would be very welcome.
They won't be preaching at the toddler group anyway - it will just be a group of parents / carers and 0 - 4s playing and doing craft and stuff.

If you decide to go to the Church services
a) no-one will know if you believe or not
and
b) you would still be very welcome even if you didn't have a faith

Most people are somewhere on a journey. A lot of people are part of a Church as much for the sense of family, or Community as much as for the worship itself. You won't be alone.

[MsMarple]

I run a church toddler group, and everyone is welcome. Some of the people who come do go to the church, but most are from different faiths or none at all. Thinking about it.... I suppose the Christian aspect of the group is in the church providing something that helps others, rather than anything evangelical. Sometimes the vicar drops in for a coffee, but not in a press-gang kind of way!

[aliphil]

My church runs a couple of toddler groups. The minister usually pops in for a cup of tea and to say hello if he's around, but that's mostly to make a connection for anyone who does want to talk to him about anything and/or come to services. The only religious bits are at Christmas and Easter, when the children go into the church and the minister tells them the Christmas/Easter story - after which Father Christmas visits/they have an Easter egg hunt round the church. I think families from the toddler groups are especially invited to a few services a year like the Christingle, but there's certainly no obligation either to go, or to say anything about your beliefs if you do choose to go.

[Leeds2]

I am atheist.

Went to parent and toddler groups at our local baptist and catholic churches. Was made to feel very welcome by both, and I and my daughter made friends. Never went to Sunday service at either, indeed wasn't really aware that was happening!

Please go, with an open mind, for two or three weeks. If yo have given it a fair chance, and don't like it, then fair enough not to go back.

Fwiw, might be worth checking out you sports centre for classes for littlies. They will probably have a few, and would give your DD the opportunity to socialise!

[PegsPigs]

My 2 favourite groups are held actually inside churches - not even in a church hall but the actual church. They are the friendliest, most welcoming groups - one baby group, one toddler group. One is Baptist one is just C of E. I am neither and I've never been asked nor made to feel anything but welcome regardless of religion. Go! Enjoy yourself