Best way to tell the nosy neighbours that we're having a new fence, and their spying days are over?

[NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight]

Lighthearted, but I do need tips...

Our next door neighbours are very nosy. When we moved in, the fence between our gardens was a 3ft high trellis. They're out gardening all the time, and we couldn't go into the garden without having a 15 minute chat about their roses, hip complaints, latest gnomes etc.

We decided to extend the fence to a 6ft trellis. We let them know and said we needed a higher fence for the plants we planned to plant. They said they were fine with it. It was our fence according to the deeds anyway. We bought the panels and stored them in the garage ready for a sunny weekend.

We came home from work one day to find the alarm going off and the neighbouring skulking about. They said that they'd noticed that the main door to the garage had been open (a lie - it was still deadlocked), so they'd climbed over the back fence to investigate and gone into the garage through the back door (we hadn't locked it, I know, I know). They hadn't realised that the garage had a motion sensor in it linked to the main house alarm.

We realised that they must have gone into the garage to look at the panels. Devious monkeys. Luckily it was Friday and we cracked straight on with the new fence the next morning. We didn't leave the house until it was done and they couldn't get into our back garden anymore.

Well. It turns out that dh and I are both really crap at gardening. The plants we planted haven't done as well as we'd planned.

It was really windy recently and the extended trellis fence has blown over! We've done a temporary fix but we're having it replaced properly by a company in 2 weeks. We're going to have a 6ft solid fence.

At last we'll be able to eat toast without the neighbours waving at us. No one will be able to comment on the fact that we sometimes hang out the washing the night before. Best of all, we'll now be able to choose when we talk to our neighbours. And they won't be able to reach through the trellis and pick our raspberries either. Again, cheeky monkeys.

My question is, how do I tell them that we've decided to have a solid fence? I don't want to offend them. I want them to think it'll benefit them.

We are friendly people by the way - we get on with all our neighbours, although these particular ones are notorious for their nosiness. They once had another neighbour's keys to pick up the post whole they were away. They were seen through the window (night time, lights on) going through desk drawers

Jeez I've rambled. Sorry. In the interests of neighbourly relations, how do I tell them that we're about to have a big tall fence blocking their view into our garden and kitchen, and make them think it's for their benefit?

[WhoTheFuckIsSimon]

I replaced a 3 ft back gate with a 7ft one for this reason. Told the neighbour's it was to improve security.

[DownWithTitchenor]

You can't beat a Newfoundland - I have one you can borrow, she would run straight through a trellis if she saw someone on the other side!

[contrary13]

My parents had a neighbour who was a bit like the OP's. She was lovely, and extremely kind, but every time she heard one of us in the garden... she'd pop her head over the fence and insist on chatting. And whilst my parents seemed to quite like the novelty of having a neighbour who actually liked them, I confess to finding it incredibly intrusive. We gone to visit my parents, after all, not have to make small talk with their neighbour!

Also, a 6ft high fence may not be enough to stop your neighbours from inserting themselves into your lives. My parents fence was 6ft and solid... and for years I thought their neighbour's garden was higher than theirs (not unreasonable: her house was slightly higher than theirs). Until I realised that when she popped her head over... she was also semi-draped across it with the top of the fence panel beneath her armpits. So I asked my mother what was going on. Turns out the neighbour was clambering on top of her children's sandbox and balancing herself so that she could randomly call "coo-ee!!!" at us and interrupt our conversations if we were outside! So I, for one, second the suggestion a PP made of using vandal grease on the top of your new fence, OP...

[Believeitornot]

Honestly you're engaging with them far too much.

Any suspicion of them entering your property is enough for you to tell them nothing.

[TheFuckitBuckit]

You don't need to justify anything, but should they ask you say it's for security and safety. We already have a six foot fence at the back but as the garden is on different levels, our over the back neighbour can see right into our garden when standing on his decking. He used to just stand and stare without saying a word. I hated being watched. He gives me the creeps.

I was debating what to do when my young kitten managed to scale the fence into his garden and he tried to hurt her but he didn't realise I'd climbed up to try to get her back over so had seen what he'd done. He was absolutely furious at me I've never seen rage like it, his face was puce!
This was before telling him if I saw him try to hurt any of the cats around here again I would report to the Rspca, this only made him worse.

Anyway gave us the perfect excuse to extend the fence with bamboo which I then covered with bamboo matting until I could grow my shrubs high enough to block his view.....permanently, with the excuse of stopping my cats getting in his garden.

So I would do as mentioned upthread, attach your trellis to the new fence and get some fast growing climbers.

[SouthWesterlyWinds]

Tell them that you need the higher fence in order to join the club, whilst waving a receipt for a large consignment of pampas grass.

[DoreenLethal]

Our garden is in a allotment style so each house has a strip. One neighbour moaned to me about the shed that we there when we bought the house and I have just had it taken down and a new one, 2ft wider put in. I didn't say a word and it is now all painted and nobody has said anything.

Just do it, and if they ask say 'Oh the other one blew down so for H&S we went for this sturdy affair, should be up here til the kids are all grown up ha ha.'

[Sparklingbrook]

A word of warning if you go for not warning them. Whoever puts the fence up will probably need to go into their garden a bit. We know this because when next door did theirs a fair few of our plants got trampled.

[Ditsy4]

I would tell them. Just say the trellis wasn't strong enough. Give them a chance to move plants. Be reasonable you might have to live there a long time.
My neighbours put a covered veranda on the back. Then he came around and asked if he could replaced our fence( 3yrs old) by a 6 ft one. I said no I didn't want it because I had a vegetable patch there and it would block the light ( the roof had already blocked some) so I thought he understood. Three days later he put a different coloured one on his side of the fence. Now I can't grow anything in the raised bed nearest the fence. However, previously when they had visitors I used to go to another part of the garden even if I wanted to be in the veggie plot - now I go there whenever I want! I'm still p off by it two years down the line. I don't want to move veggies because there was a natural bit for them there and we had railway sleepers put there to make raised beds. This was long before they moved in. We got on great with previous neighbour and even put a gate in the fence so we could mow his lawn for him as he was elderly and struggled. They wanted to take the gate out and I said no we would just lock it. He piled stone against it until it damaged it. Now it has come off the hinges. I've left it.
Otherwise we get on well. New neighbours on other side wanted a 6 ft fence and wanted us to split the cost. He was devastated when I told him that very long fence was his responsibility not ours. We get on fine with them too now.

[mix56]

You simply say, as the last fence was home built, this time you are having it done by professionals to exclude any further expense.

[NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight]

Thanks for all the replies! I'm going to try to catch them tomorrow. If I hang out the washing they'll probably appear. I think I'll just tell them we're replacing it, so don't worry that it's broken etc, and won't mention that it's solid.

[spanky2]

You won't need to tell them. I expect they know already. Nosey.

[WhatALoadOfOldBollocks]

"I was having breakfast outside once when she called out "How old do you think I look? I'll be dead soon! Still! I keep on going!" Utter loons."

That'll be me in 30 years time...wearing vivid purple and with a bulldog clip on the back of my head

RE the new fence, you could tell them that your toddler is proving to be an expert climber and that only a fence higher than 5.5 feet will keep him/her in

[AMouseLivedinaWindMill]

wow!! nosey indeed! incredible lack of boundaries!

As others have said do it in - " so sorry to have put such rubbish flimsy fence in, would hve been awful to have damaged your plants I know how much you love your garden, so dont worry - big sturfy fence going on this this time

[ChunkyPunky]

Tell them you got the police to come round to do a home security check and they advised on the fence. That way you're doing them a favour too!

[NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight]

Oooh I like it! I might tell them I've got cctv too hehe!

[MistressDeeCee]

Repair your current fence and electrify it, that should fix the nosey buggers

Seriously..you are VERY understanding, had I found theyd been in my property and set off the burglar alarm too, Id be livid. They simply have no right. 1 or both of them is crazy. Brief explanation re new fence ie sturdier fence is needed for whatever reason, and thats it. Don't be drawn into any long conversation about it. & don't even think about starting a precedence of them dropping by to see you, which I bet they'll do once they realise they can't spy on you in the garden anymore.

& do lock your garage back door - nasty of them to intrude but can you imagine if it wasn't them, but burglars instead?

[Muldjewangk]

Tell them the trellis proved to be too flimsy and you need a solid fence to keep your children from wandering onto the road.

[WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant]

Toddler and newborn are key here.

You need to keep them safe... don't want them disturbing everybody. Keep toys out of sight.