Aibu to wonder what non-tv parents do when they're ill?

[minoandolphin]

Been wondering about this for some time and can't find an answer anywhere. What do parents who don't let their kids watch any TV do when they (the parent, I mean) are feeling horribly ill and have a very active toddler to somehow keep entertained (assuming it's just them alone with them for most of the day). I manage with YouTube peppa pig on a loop whilst I quietly dissolve in a puddle of my own snot on the sofa; but I am genuinely curious how people manage if they won't allow telly at all.

[Niloufes]

There is nothing wrong with TV, unless all they do is watch. If you sit there with them and talk about what is going on then it can be a learning experience, but you have to be active in it too. I can cook for example is a great way to get kids interested in cooking.

[DitheringDiva]

I lived in Africa for a while (a good few years ago), very few people had TVs. From age about 2-3 onwards, all kids were just kicked out to play on the street (i.e. dirt track) with all the other kids. Older children looked after the younger ones. We regularly found groups of kids hiding in our lemon trees (nicking all the lemons). From what I could tell, parents rarely parented their kids in the way westerners do i.e. playing with them, taking them out etc. From age about 6-7 onwards, if they were in the house, they were expected to work - cleaning, washing, planting seed, harvesting. They were virtually treated as slaves, so getting away from their house to play out was heaven for them. I'm sure parents and children alike would have loved a TV though!

[LobsterQuadrille]

I went back to work when DD was six weeks old (different country, short maternity leave) - single parent, no family out there and no television BUT DD would go to the nursery from 8am to 6pm so if I was ill, nothing was different.

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

TheWorsOfBagheera Nope it's not the not owning a TV with my Dsis/BIL they he really, she just nods along obediently actually call TVs 'idiot boxes' and then lest their DS watch hours of cartoons on mobile devices TV is fine in moderation (like most things!)

[NewLife4Me]

Dithering

I know where you are coming from, it is only recently in the history of the world that childhood has been acknowledged as a separate life stage, and totally a western concept.
just thought I'd add this useless info.

To the pp who suggested if you don't have a tv people assume it's because you don't like them.
We have 4 tv's lap tops phones, ipads etc, yet I rarely watch anything on any device, because I don't want to.
When dc were little and we couldn't afford tv I used to get comments from parents along the lines of you think you're a better parent, or holier than thou etc.
We just had no money and then went off grid for a bit.

[witsender]

Our first didn't watch tv until gone 2yrs, then had the odd cbeebies while I fed the baby. I guess when I was ill I'd lie on the couch while she played on or round me. She's still not very interested in tv now at 5, her little bro will happily watch it though.

[AppleSetsSail]

My daughter's never got used to watching TV-we have a TV/tablet/laptop in the house but she's never used them (she's 20m, the baby's 4m). She just plays with her toys and reads books...it just wouldn't occur to me to put them on when pregnant/ill etc because I never used it before. I got really ill after having DD2 (infected C section scar plus the flu...bleurgh) and she survived just playing with her toys. I'm not evangelical about it, it's just what works here.

You do realise that 20 month old toddlers are generally disinterested in TV, right? You've not really accomplished anything yet, apart from forming an intent to avoid screens.

[Artandco]

We haven't a tv at all, and no iPad etc watched.

If Dh or I are ill they have always just played , looked at books, napped with us or similar depending on age.

We aren't that often ill. Ther was three days when Dh was abroad, and I felt terrible. Ds1 was about 20 months and ds2 5 months. Day 1 just grab loads of food snacks, filled bottles with water. Then closed bedroom door with them both trapped in and eldest just played and ate snacks when he liked, both breastfed and napped a fair bit with me. Had books, quiet toys on floor, quiet music on. Was doable.

[JonSnowKnowsNowt]

I didn't let kids watch any TV (or tablets/phones/laptop etc. - agree that is just the same!) until they were 3, which in practice meant the elder ones didn't watch any in the daytime until they were older than that, because the youngest was around. It's all a bit hazy now, but as I remember when I was ill, I used to slump on the sofa/floor and they used to play around/on top of me. I used to read a lot of stories as well. I think that without a TV, they are more used to just entertaining themselves in any case, so it wasn't really a problem. I wasn't ill a lot, but I was tired/pregnant quite a bit, and if I zoned out, they would just carry on, and I'd just surface if things got noisy or heated!

Now they're all a bit older, they still only have TV once a week, at the weekend, when they take it in turns to choose a film - so approx 2 hours or so. Elder ones can use laptop for homework, which does include some games. I expect I will cave soon and allow some video game type stuff. But they're not too bothered yet, so will wait until it's demanded. They are really good at just finding stuff to do.

[Artandco]

Oh and now they are both school age (5 and 6) I would just lay in bed or on sofa and let them draw/ make/ play/ read/ do whatever they usually usually do.

[BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep]

computer. to watch tv. we would have a tv if ex had not broken it.

[poocatcherchampion]

Judgy much???
What a lovely thread.

We just get on same as always. Just less input from me.

[wonkylegs]

My brother and his partner have a screen free house and as far as I know the few times that one of them have been ill the other one takes over (both self employed) or ask granny to look after the little one. I suspect they have been lucky though and haven't had to deal with it too much either.
I was properly ill a lot when DS was young - I have a serious chronic illness and it was invaluable to be able to take 30mins of quiet time when he was completely absorbed in Peppa/Bob the builder/the wiggles.

[georgetteheyersbonnet]

Years ago, most women (certainly from my middle class background)with small children didn't work, so there would always be someone about that you knew fairly well to take the kids for you for a bit. My mother airily declared she didn't know what was the matter with me and my sister not having any casual childcare, as when we were small she could just leave us with her friends and their children. It took her a while to understand that all of us now go out to work and the days of leisurely afternoon sherry parties and dumping your kids on each other to go and get your hair done are long gone.

^^ This exactly. My mum doesn't get why I don't have loads of mum friends living in the surrounding streets (there are lots of families but no-one pops in and out of each others' houses like we used to when I was a kid in the 1970s). Why? All the parents - women and men - are at work, or if they are about, they are usually on maternity leave so have newborns and understandably not up for looking after an extra couple of toddlers for an afternoon. I find it very hard to get to know people nearby, as not just me, but all the other mums are at work/rushing about/too knackered in the evening to go out anywhere. This my mother doesn't comprehend at all, she seems to think that a lovely 1970s-style paradise of stay at home mums enjoying coffee mornings and doing informal childcare exists out there in my street and I'm just stubbornly refusing to join in for some reason

Both mum and my MIL also don't get that there aren't loads of informal playgroups out there any more who are staffed by a couple of lovely elderly ladies who will look after your kids every morning for a few bob. I have tired of constantly trying to explain that childcare nowadays is heavily regulated and the informal arrangements of years gone by just don't exist any more. Arrghh!

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

Weep silently I imagine . Or insist that a spouse steps up and takes holiday if it's really bad.

To be fair it's more an issue when they are at that really small stage when they want a new entertainment every 15 mins or you literally can't take your eyes off them or they'll be creating some sort of death defying arrangement of chairs on top of the kitchen table.

Otherwise a child who is used to other things will continue as normal.

[crispytruffle]

"Humans survived before TV"

They did, but time has moved on!

[georgetteheyersbonnet]

DD is 3 and I have to say that whilst she didn't have much TV up until she was 2, now I heavily rely on CBeebies or DVDs/Amazon Prime when either she or I are ill. Some children are not great at amusing themselves for hours. DD has always been easily bored - she does have a good attention span but she finishes activities very quickly - so a sticker book or jigsaw or unrolling the sellotape kind of thing would occupy her for, ooh, about 3-5 minutes. Painting or drawing or play-doh or making biscuits can stretch to about 30 minutes if you're lucky. She is a very high-energy kid, and so really likes nothing better than to spend a whole day at the park rushing about. It's really, really hard to think of things that will keep her quiet for longer periods of time, so a film or repeated Octonauts on iPlayer is about the only thing possible when I'm too ill to take her out.

[DustOffYourHighestHopes]

I'm anti-screens for my 2 year old (very limited, phone/ipad maybe 40min total a week for educational purposes, to listen or watch music, and for those crux moments maybe once a week when everyone is screaming and I need to cook diner). But on airplanes and when one of us is ill, TOTALLY unlimited.

[minniebear]

At what point did I say I've accomplished anything at all *Apple? I answered OPs question based on my experience.

[cjbk1]

owllady chill out CDs and quiet play corner sounds lovely
Fwiw I get ill quite a bit where I can't entertain children because migraine or colds/sore throats really hit me hard for some reason so it is screens and massive naps for those who will have them if it's a weekday

[cjbk1]

*obv no screens for ME with migraine

[AppleSetsSail]

At what point did I say I've accomplished anything at all *Apple? I answered OPs question based on my experience.

minniebear I gather you view yourself as a non-TV parent, right? I'm merely suggesting that you can't actually be a 'non-TV parent' until your children are old enough to actually take an interest TV, which they generally are not at 20 months.

It becomes much, much harder to be a non-TV parent when you are magically free of a toddler the moment you turn on the TV.

[MrsBobDylan]

My ds 3 doesn't watch telly whereas me and ds'1&2 are much more civilised and love to hang out on the sofa together watching summit or other.

Ds3 on the other hand wants to do playdough, colour in or faff on pretending to clean. I try not to hold it against him.

[waterrat]

Haha apple I agree. At 20 months it would be unusual for a child to show an interest in rv.