Teenage Allowance

[lakeseamountain]

I have cousins that are 'very well to do' . My cousin wants to give her 14 year old son a £500 a month as an allowance.

I told her of a close friend who would give a few hundred to their child and he is now 19 and in a mental asylum because of marijuana abuse (since he was 15). So I was very emotional about it all and adamant that it was too much money and he would never learn a good working or money ethic.

I told her that it is far too much and he could get into all sorts of trouble (i.e., drugs etc) if he had lots of money. She says its normal to give teenagers that much and that her son was saying his friends get £1000 a month (I think this is bs) and she doesn't want him to feel left out or different from his friends. They live in North London, private schools - so they are really 'rat race' , keeping up with the jones' type people.

My eldest is only 11 and we give him £10 a month just to teach him the ethics of saving. I have also told ds that when he is 15 he is expected to get a part-time job. I feel strongly that you need to teach a child a work ethic.

I know there is no such thing as normal, but how much is reasonable to give a teenager as an allowance. Was I being unreasonable to be so adamant and to warn her?

[Tabsicle]

You know someone who took drugs and is now in a 19th century gothic novel?

Mental asylums don't exist any more. If a 19 year old is in long term treatment in a psychiatric ward, then that is indicative of some serious MH problems which almost certainly run much deeper than getting a good allowance at age 15. I also think YABU for saying that a child with an allowance will spend it all on drugs.

I had a £250 per month allowance when I was 15, which was 20 years ago, so an awful lot then. I was expected to buy shoes, clothes, books (except school text books) bus pass, cinema tickets etc with that. Everything except school uniform.

I managed to not develop a drugs habit.

[Whatthefoxgoingon]

Thank you tabiscle for pointing out the Home of the Mentally Insane bit!

[Kelsoooo]

Yep thanks Tabsicle. That was really really annoying me.

[AndNowItsSeven]

Did you mean £75 a week Artandco or a month? We give our dd17 £52 a month currently, but she also has £66 weekly from other sources.

[Artandco]

And - £75 a week at 15 I think so £250 a month. I think that's fine. For us that would be about right. Ds1 gets £24 now at 6 but we pay for everything essential still. At 15 from that £250 I would expecting them to budget for transport to school, school resources, clothing, food out, and saving each month. So probably £150 spent and £100 saved ideally.

[NickiFury]

"Being held in a mental asylum"

You DO sound terribly dramatic.

[WoodleyPixie]

£10 a month realistically is too little. That's not even a trip to the cinema. So unless you were really poor I think that's a bit tight.

My ds1 is 18 and at college. He gets £30 a week for lunches and bus fare. He does have a part time job to fund his social life but the shifts can be sporadic and it's low paid so I will sometimes give him £20-30 to go out with friends.

Ds2 is 14 and he doesn't really go out much at the moment, he tends to hibernate in the winter. So his £10 a week pocket money is stacking up nicely in his account. He also has £5-10 a week for buying a drink on the way to/from school. He has a long journey.

I'd say realistically if only for entertainment £100 a month should be enough. However my cousin who is the same age as my eldest lives in a different world. They live Alderley edge way and private schools etc her dad gives her £400 a month allowance plus maintenance to her mum and then her mum gives her £2-300 a month.

They live in a totally different world though. She has a brand new mini convertible, holidays 5/6 times a year at least and is always on social media at glamorous places. I'm sure she has a credit card for any extras as well.

It all depends on your own reality, my cousin probably can't imagine going out for dinner and spending less than £50.

[Mistigri]

Gobsmacked at what some consider pocket money ... There are people raising familles on less than that

My teenager who is at senior high school gets €30 (£20) a month paid into her bank account and I give her €5 in cash once a week for one lunch out of school. (School lunches are billed directly to us and she has an annual bus pass so doesn't need money for travel).

She doesn't seem worse off than any of her friends...