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AIBU?

Has anyone just upped and moved to another area or even country knowing no one?

51 replies

PinanNidan · 09/02/2016 12:26

Our once lovely area is awful. Grew up here. Basically previously a village, now just a through road to the city.

No community, no childcare, no activities, no work, the massive road cut us off. Even if i want to go to town for the gp or shops or whatever it is nearly a tenner on the bus with the kids.

I don't even feel safe at home. One neighbour is a drug addict with mental health problems who has been in prison. The other makes a load of noise but bangs on the ceiling at the slightest thing.

To cap it off I was threated and verbally abused horribly by a stranger near home last week and it has really shaken me.

I am on a low working income but mostly from home so could do that in most places.

A relative has offered to loan me money towards moving to a bigger house here but actually I don't want to be here anymore!
Aibu to want better :(

OP posts:

Report

cornishglos · 09/02/2016 14:20

Always had work in place first.

Strokethefurrywall · 09/02/2016 15:14

Yes, I upped and left London and moved to the Caribbean.

Had never visited before and didn't know anyone. I had some interviews lined up for a few days after I arrived, got a job with my preferred law firm and have been here for 8 1/2 years. About to apply for permanent residency.

I would do it again in a heart beat but now with a husband, 2 young kids and 2 dogs, there is far more to consider. We toyed with moving to Australia where we'd both get jobs easily and we both have family, but being even further away from family is the downside. Still, husband has never been to Oz and I'm pretty sure if he visited he'd be happy to move there. I love Oz, and would have moved back there after my return to London but went West instead of East.

Logistically moving from here is a nightmare from here though, makes my head spin!

665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 09/02/2016 16:42

yes 5 times
always had an income to "go to" though - sometimes only subsistence level - but something

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 09/02/2016 17:58

I've moved twice within the UK (150 miles then 50 miles so not that far really) and both times into the unknown. I'm self employed, work mainly from home so could move anywhere, and both times it's been absolutely fine. I used to think moving to a new area was a massive deal but don't anymore, and reckon I'll slowly continue zig-zagging across the country. If you don't have ties then go for it OP.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 09/02/2016 18:23

Not quite but have moved only knowing two people who were also new to the area (so no help for sofa surfing or networking etc)

Go for it!

MrsKoala · 09/02/2016 18:27

Yes, pretty much every time i have moved. It is hard meeting people if like me you don't work as there is no 'in' really. But if you can work then you can get chatting to people and make friends. Go for it. Good luck.

Owllady · 09/02/2016 18:28

Life is too short to be miserable in your own home x
just fucking do it

TitClash · 09/02/2016 18:30

Yes, and its not easy but its better than staying.
Take the loan and start looking, you dont feel safe or happy where you live and its time to move on.

Jibberjabberjooo · 09/02/2016 18:34

Yes moved to London, stayed for six years.

westcoastnortherneragain · 09/02/2016 18:37

We moved to Canada knowing no one and having never even visited

LowerBackPain · 09/02/2016 18:41

Yes, first to London and then to another continent. No regrets at all. But both times I had a job, I don't think I would have risked it otherwise. Have been here over a year and Have met some lovely people. you should do it as it seems that your hometown in not a place where you are happy anymore, and do not have much to offer to your kids. Wish you all the best!

ImogenTubbs · 09/02/2016 18:55

About to move to Spain with DH and DD. We will know no one in the area we are moving to. I can't wait! I say go for it. If you're not happy where you are, moving will, at the least, give you a change and a fresh perspective and, at the most, be somewhere you absolutely love and can build a life. Good luck!

Beeswax2017 · 09/02/2016 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toolonglurking · 09/02/2016 19:28

I moved from the capital city I grew up in to the middle of nowhere on the west coast of Scotland. I went from a flat share bang in the middle of town, to a lovely 5 bedroom house (mortgage is still less than my rent was) with nothing around for miles and I didn't know a soul.
I managed to find a job here before I moved, which has really helped me settle in, I'd suggest doing that if you are able.
Utterly love my new life and although I miss old friends, I've made plenty of new ones.
Do it, the worst that can happen is you don't like it and have to try again.

WhirlwindHugs · 09/02/2016 19:34

Yup!

We've always had a job sorted before we move, rent a while to be sure we like it. When I was a child we moved to the UK and the first place we lived was Milton Keynes which my mum hated so they looked at the other places the company they were working for had branches and moved to one of those a couple of months later. They're very happy in location 2.

Unhappyexpat · 09/02/2016 19:51

I've done it a few times - to various cities in the uk and three different countries. It's hard at first but you get used to it.

Pick where you go carefully though - I don't like where I am now :(

BlackeyedShepherdsbringsheep · 09/02/2016 19:57

moved twice for post 18 education knowing no-one. I think it is hard but it is good to have a plan worked out how you will meet people, be that through a faith community, hobby or club.

go and visit a few places. think where you could afford to live there. think about amenities. we live in the inner city but this small area is quite nice.

Cadenza1818 · 09/02/2016 20:07

Hi op,
Good experience here too. Moved twice within UK where we've known no one. Having young kids makes it easier to get to know people. I don't know if you're working now but in my experience getting a job first is best. One, you have income waiting but also dependant on company you get relocation money. On both occasions this was enough to sort removal out and have a bit for rental deposit. Good luck and go for it!

elQuintoConyo · 09/02/2016 21:47

Three times: Italy, Dublin, Barcelona.

The two foreign (to British me) countries I turned up with no language. Great fun!

If you'd net me at 23 you never would have thought I'd do such a thing, such a scared rabbit I was! I now have a Spanish DH and tri-lingual son!

Good luck!

Dawndonnaagain · 09/02/2016 21:51

Moved from London to rural Norfolk without knowing a soul. That was twenty odd years ago. Planning on doing something similar next year!

MidniteScribbler · 09/02/2016 21:59

Moved to the US for a year in my early twenties and knew no one. Loved it but was only allowed a one year visa so had to come home.

Moved about five years ago to another state 18 hours drive away where I didn't know anyone and don't regret it.

Moving permanently to my holiday house in the future. I didn't know anyone when I bought it, although I do know people now in the very small community from holidaying there. Absolutely can't wait to make the permanent move. 2115 days to go!

TrappedInAWitchesCurse · 09/02/2016 22:05

Yep, three times, including once abroad, and I'm itching to do it again! I had a job to go to for the UK moves, and I had a work visa when I moved abroad so I could do temp roles.
I read an interview once with someone (I've forgotten who!) who reckoned there were two types of people in the world: farmers, who were happy to stay put and sailors, who were always on the move. I'm a sailor for sure!

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Kayakinggirl86 · 09/02/2016 22:25

I have what are refered to as my wandering years. Spent 12 years where the longest I stayed anywhere was 2 years. Did a lot of temp jobs from leading walks in the Amazon to teaching skiing in the Alps. Loved it, very much back wit rose tinted glasses and want to go back to that life at times.
As others said always had a job to go to.
Been 5 years in the area a currently live in. 3 step children, perm job I love, house and a DH (who has always lived in the same 12mile radius) I will not be moving again.
Moved to where I currently live on a whim, honestly hand in heart beat thing I ever did.
If you can go for it you can always move back

PurpleCrazyHorse · 09/02/2016 23:00

We have, twice. You just need to get out and meet people when you move so you make some friends.

What's the worst that could happen?

TheBouquets · 09/02/2016 23:13

Great thread. Very useful to me. No=one seems to have particularly bad experiences. I could write a very similar post as the OP. I am worried about being isolated because I am not the outgoing type but as hinted at above "life is too short to be living in a place that does not make you happy". This might be my only chance as I have health limitations.
I hope I have the courage to do what all the posters have done.

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