To feel like I lost even though I won?

[Surprisedtofeelbereft]

NC here, legal reasons.

Have spent the last year suing my ex company for mat discrimination. Yesterday I won. Everyone around me is telling me how well I did and they're all really happy. Financially, yes I did very well, it gives me space to breathe and it will have hurt them for the really shitty way they treated me.

But I just can't feel anything except bereft for the whole thing. I loved that job. I literally sold my apology, which admittedly may have never come anyway, for the sake of a few thousand pounds. Yesterday it seemed smart and unimportant but now I just feel so angry, at myself as much as anything. My legal team were only doing what they thought I wanted.

Thanks to the nature of the industry I won't be able to do the same job again. I've been working on something else but my heart isn't in it. I feel like I'm grieving for my old career. I don't really know what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. My job defined me. Of course for the next period I'm a SAHM which I love, but what do I do when she goes to school? I literally have no idea which direction to go in now.

Has any one else been through this? How do you make peace with it?

[Surprisedtofeelbereft]

No probs.

Also, you haven't yet but don't put anything specific on here; it may cause problems later.

[GruntledOne]

Brilliant work in fighting and winning, well done! Are you sure you can't get back in the same line of work? Are all other companies as dinosaur-like as the one you worked for? Might you be able to freelance or set up on your own?

[Surprisedtofeelbereft]

I don't think so. I'll make sure my next career is more flexible!

Thanks all for your kind words. You're right, I do need to be a bit more positive and I think I need to stop feeling bad about feeling bad too.