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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I compensate childminder for accident?

64 replies

Samwelly · 05/02/2016 08:24

My 2 year old DS knocked over a plant pot and broke it at childminder's house yesterday. I apologised obviously. Should I have offered to pay for her to get another one?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 05/02/2016 10:02

I'd have a good chat with her about being more careful!

Seriously??!

Plateofcrumbs · 05/02/2016 10:06

If you feel like you ought to do 'something' maybe buying a little pot plant which is not a direct replacement, but acknowledges that she has had one broken? As others have said you have zero obligation to replace and it would be the wrong precedent to set, but a gesture might make you feel better.

Patapouf · 05/02/2016 10:12

I don't think so! Not at all, it's her responsibility to make her home child-friendly.

BackforGood · 05/02/2016 10:14

No. Of course not. She is a CM - it is up to her what she has in the rooms her mindees use - you assess the risk of something getting damaged vs how big a loss it is to you.

How do you even know ? - surely the CM didn't tell you? It was just an accident of the kind that happens when you have little people in your house.

chillycurtains · 05/02/2016 10:19

Yes. It's just polite.

AnotherTimeMaybe · 05/02/2016 10:22

SoupDragon yes seriously! Do you think leaving a plant pot where a toddler can grab easily, is wise? Does she leave out other unsafe items as well?

AnotherTimeMaybe · 05/02/2016 10:24

How do you even know ? - surely the CM didn't tell you?

Very good point!! Why would she tell you that? Is it cause she does want you to pay? Really cheeky!

Lweji · 05/02/2016 10:24

Yes, I'd be interested to know where the pot was and the risk for the child.

SanityAssassin · 05/02/2016 10:27

nice gesture if you do but she should have insurance in place to cover these sorts of things.

GreatFuckability · 05/02/2016 10:35

She shouldn't have these stuff at easy reach of a 2yo... What if it fell on his head??
I'd have a good chat with her about being more careful

yes, because kids NEVER break stuff in their parents care or anything....

I think a sorry card is a lovely gesture, OP and quite enough.

Bonkerz · 05/02/2016 10:40

As a childminder we get a generous allowance from the tax man for wear and tear on our home. If a 2 year old was able to break something then that's the childminders risk assessments that have failed and it would be her responsibility to replace and reassess

TheWitTank · 05/02/2016 10:44

My childminder friends wouldn't expect a replacement, but I would replace it personally. It's a nice gesture.

AnotherTimeMaybe · 05/02/2016 10:54

yes, because kids NEVER break stuff in their parents care or anything....
What does this have to do with this? I don't know many parents who have an unsafe home, and even if that was the case a parent knows their child the best they can assess the risk better! A CM has God knows how many children and she's getting paid FGS to keep them safe!

Some posts here were spot on! It's interesting how she said that he broke it rather than phrasing it differently ... She's looking to get this replaced, she's either very inexperienced or very cheeky!

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 05/02/2016 10:56

No obligation but I'd probably try to find something for my DC to hand her to say sorry. I think it's useful for even a 2yr old to understand that not everything can be fixed and some stuff breaks permanently when you are not careful. It's a particularly useful lesson to build on as there is often a sibling turning up around that age.

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 05/02/2016 12:00

"What if it fell on his head?"

We don't even know WHERE the pot was, FFS. For all we know, it could have been on the ground and the child accidentally kicked it! Or do we expect childminders not to have anything on any floor even these days?

AnotherTimeMaybe · 05/02/2016 13:36

We don't even know WHERE the pot was, FFS. For all we know, it could have been on the ground and the child accidentally kicked it! Or do we expect childminders not to have anything on any floor even these days?

So there is no danger because it was on the floor? Hmm

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 05/02/2016 13:48

Another Sigh. A 6-inch high terracotta pot (and we also don't know size or type of pot) on the floor will always always come off worse than a toddler that accidentally kicked it.

But by your logic, you are clearly suggesting that you can't leave ANYTHING on a floor because ANYTHING has the potential to be dangerous. You'd have to insist on all childminders only allowing children into a room with padded walls, deep shag pile carpet (although they could still get a friction burn on that), bean bags but no chairs... Really???

BumpTheElephant · 05/02/2016 13:50

I wouldn't buy a new one as he's two and was in her care. I would apologise and leave it at that.

pilates · 05/02/2016 13:50

Op, yes I would replace it.

AnotherTimeMaybe · 05/02/2016 14:22

But by your logic, you are clearly suggesting that you can't leave ANYTHING on a floor because ANYTHING has the potential to be dangerous. You'd have to insist on all childminders only allowing children into a room with padded walls, deep shag pile carpet (although they could still get a friction burn on that), bean bags but no chairs... Really???

Where did I say you can't leave anything on the floor? What's the reason for this exaggeration ?
If something is breakable yes it shouldn't be on the floor of a childminder with many kiddies under her care! It could have fallen on his foot! Another toddler could have picked it up and dropped it on his head ....
I don't see many pots in the nursery floors,do you?

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 05/02/2016 14:31

Another "many kiddies" - we don't know that either. Lots of assumptions being made on the thread from almost no facts. As I pointed out, the pot may have been by the front door from all we actually know, which would be a totally different thing to a 12-inch wide, three feet high ceramic pot, on top of a 6ft tall bookcase that the toddler was climbing while the childminder was having a piss.

The point is that children do occasionally hurt themselves just by falling down. They get hurt in their own home, even when parents think everything is child proofed. Parents take children to friends' houses but they don't expect their friends' to take everything out of the lounge just in case. Things happen, even with the closest of attention. Such is life. I just think it's the decent thing to replace something that your child breaks, no matter where they are.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 05/02/2016 14:33

I think that you should offer, and she should refuse Grin

Cindy34 · 05/02/2016 14:46

Drawing and Wine

Gruntfuttock · 05/02/2016 14:55

I think you should offer.

PestoSkiissimos · 05/02/2016 15:09

Yes, get her another one.

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