To not let the kids skip an extra curricular activity?

[StrawberryDelight]

I have two dc, aged 6 and 8. They both go to a dance class on a Saturday, and have been going for about 4 months. They both asked to start dance classes, begged in fact - so this is something they chose to do (not something they've been pushed or cajoled into) and they're enjoying it and doing well.

Generally I take them - either dh is working on a Saturday or on the Saturdays he's off then it's just worked out that I take them dancing and he potters and does house stuff instead.

Last week was the first time that I had to work and he was off, so he had to take them. Saturday evening I discovered that only ds1 had gone. Ds2 had said he didn't fancy it so he just didn't go. I was a bit at DH for allowing this but nothing more was really mentioned (not for any reason - I just hadn't thought of it since).

Cue today and ds1 casually mentions that he doesn't fancy dancing today so he'll have a day off.

I've spoken to both of the dc and told them that if they don't want to go to dance classes, that's fine and it's completely up to them. But that they need to decide either way - they either 'commit' to it and go, every single week (barring illness of course) OR they choose to give it up and stop going altogether. They're not drop in classes, they're paid monthly in advance. Its £6 each per session and although the cost itself isn't an issue, it's the principal of it - i'm not happy to pay for dance classes that may or may not be used. I think they're old enough to understand this and old enough to learn that if they commit to something (out of choice) then they have to see it through, even on the weeks they don't feel like it. Either that, or quit.

DH thinks i'm BU and that they're only 6 and 8 which is fairly young - the money isn't an issue, they're not letting anyone down (it's not a dance team so their absence doesn't really matter), so they should be able to go when they feel like it, or miss classes when they don't fancy it.

AIBU to make them decide - either all or nothing?

[TooMuchOfEverything]

My DH is a million times more likely to let DC skip activities than I am. It was ingrained into me as a child that you stick with things and be reliable. I also make them do thank you letters. So I'm the joyless parent in this house

[LalaLyra]

I think it depends why they don't want to go. Here you are allowed to skip activities if you are ill or too tired. However if you skip then there's nothing in it's place. So it's a relatively boring couple of hours at home with everyone else doing what they normally do when you are at cubs/swimming/football. It means they only skip when they really don't have the energy for it.

[Kitsandkids]

I agree with you, and had similar. My 2 boys started dance and one week they didn't go as my husband took them somewhere else. The next week they said they didn't want to go so I said they had to decide - they would either go every week or if they didn't want to do that they should give up completely. They both decided to give up completely.

They both go to Beavers and know I've paid for that in advance and they're taking up a place that other children are waiting for, so they know that's not negotiable. Same for another club. Even though it's free they've signed up which means that's two places that could go to others, so they know they always have to go - or give up completely. Fortunately my husband agrees with me!

[StrawberryDelight]

Kits - at the moment, both of mine have gone the other way and were fairly horrified when I mentioned giving it up! They both went willingly this morning.

I just need to make sure dh and I are on the same page (whichever page that turns out to be) because otherwise they're going to try their luck with dh the next time he's the one taking them and they fancy lazing about instead.