Was I unreasonable to apply for this job without telling my employers?

[Lambbone]

First time on AIBU - be gentle!

At a recent appraisal the boss asked me if I was planning to stay at the organisation, and I said yes.

However, the weekend of the 12/13 Dec I was casually browsing online and came across the perfect sounding job for me. The deadline was the Monday. I threw together an application and submitted it in time. Got an invite to interview Tuesday, was interviewed Friday (took a day's leave) and was offered the job verbally that day.

In work yesterday I spoke to HR and dropped an email to the boss to explain the situation - not formally handing in my notice, which I won't do until I get the offer in writing. Got a very irritated email back from the boss saying that she would have appreciated a heads up especially bearing in mind our recent conversation. Boss wasn't rude at all, but clearly very irritated.

So was I unreasonable? I didn't think anyone told their employers that they were looking elsewhere, just in case it didn't work out and their loyalty was brought into question. And I wasn't really job hunting - just browsing in a fairly idle fashion. Was it unreasonable of me to have applied at all, having said that I was planning to stay?

[blueshoes]

You can soften the blow for your employer by ensuring a good handover to your successor or if one cannot be hired in time, to leave good handover notes and an empty out tray. You can also start to train other staff on your role, if your manager thinks that is useful.

Apart from that, it is reasonable to go on the assumption that no one is irreplaceable.

[maggiethemagpie]

Would they give you a 'heads up' if they were thinking of making you redundant? No, they'd do the legal minimum consultaiton period before giving you notice.

Always amuses me when people think they are letting their employers down, when if the boot was on the other foot their boss would not give a shiny shit.

It's a business transaction

[WeAllHaveWings]

It is your old/current company/boss's responsibility to ensure no one is irreplaceable and they have succession planning/appropriate notice periods. Morally/ethically there is no need to give any notice other than your contracted notice period.

[megletthesecond]

Yanbu. I have never mentioned when I'm job hunting and simply hand in my notice once I've got the new job in writing.

Telling a boss you're thinking of leaving sounds like a way to get treated abysmally until you actually get a new job.

[mintoil]

I don't understand this at all - you have given them a heads up. I would not have told them anything until I had received the offer in writing and was ready to actually resign.

If it all falls apart ( and I really hope it doesn't) you will have caused quite a lot of damage to your relationship there.

Best of luck in the new job.

[CallieTorres]

My company makes you tell your line manager if you are planning to apply for an internal role!

[blueshoes]

On the issue of counteroffer or buy back, unless it is linked with a growth opportunity or different responsibilities like AllBy, it is difficult to see how it could work. Why would the company pay more money for the employee to do the same job at the risk of upsetting the 'team alignment' (euphemism for one employee getting more than other people doing the same job). That would just breed resentment from the manager and co-colleagues.

My firm made an offer to a very senior partner at another firm but he got spectacularly bought back by his firm by a stunning last minute rear guard action. 6 months later, he left anyway to join us. It did not work.

[Damselindestress]

YANBU. I would never tell my current employer I was applying for another job as it might destabilize my current position and then I might not get the new job. Heck, in this economy sometimes you don't even get a reply to an application so it would be a waste of everybody's time to tell your employer every time you applied for another job. It's common practice to wait for an offer and your manager has shown exactly why, she's taken it personally and now if you didn't get the new job you would have to deal with bad feeling at work. I think your manager is BU to ask you that question in the first place and then express irritation at not getting a 'heads up'. If you want to leave on a good note, maybe mention that things changed since your earlier conversation so you were not being dishonest. However I don't think you owe her an explanation.

[Allbymyselfagain]

I agree with all the above you are NBU but just wanted to add it's not always a bad idea to accept the existing jobs counter offer. I did a few years ago because I was fed up of low pay and no promotion prospects within my company. I'd been offered another job, more pay but not as good a company. They offered me a 30% pay rise, the opportunity to do an OU course paid for by the company and there are now conversations on how to move me into a management role (not as easy as just doing in my company) so with the right company and done in the right way it can work out.

[MuttonWasAGoose]

If anything, you were BU to say anything without a written offer.
Once you have announced your intentions to leave, the company starts to plan for your departure.
I've also heard that to accept any counter offer to get you to stay is a mistake. The employer just wants to keep things on their terms. After the job offer has been turned down and your employer has had time to organise things to their liking, out you go. However, that may be more common in countries where firing employees is easier.

[Hissy]

When she asked the question, you answered truthfully, so don't give it a second thought. Business is business.

You think THEY would hesitate for a nano second if it came down to your job or their lifestyle?

Congrats on the new job!

[toffeeboffin]

FWIW in no way should it affect your reference, that's illegal.

[toffeeboffin]

P. S. Congratulations OP

[toffeeboffin]

YANBU.

However, you should have waited before you get your offer in writing before telling your employer.

I'm always surprised that people think they should tell their employer everything, it's your life, if you lie in an appraisal who cares! Believe me, they don't give a shiny shit about you, no matter what they say.

[Lasaraleen]

You have given a heads up. I wouldn't have said anything until I had a formal offer in writing and was handing in my notice.

[blueshoes]

I am feeling really bad. Just accepted a new job but staved off telling my boss until the year end bonus announcement which was today. My boss insisted that I call her to discuss my year end bonus and increment (good) but I did not tell her over the phone that I would be resigning by the end of the year.

Argh, she won't be pleased when I do. People will be out over this period and therefore I will most likely be giving the 'heads up' by email. But hey, I will be serving out the full notice and doing a proper handover.

The new job is a fantastic step up in terms of pay and title. Argh.

[Oysterbabe]

The only heads up my bosses get is my notice once I've accepted another job.

[Lambbone]

No, no pdp.

And yes, it was amazing to find this job!

[Itscliffmas]

As a manager I always appreciate when someone in my team gives me a heads up about this kind of stuff, it allows a bit of time to think about if I will recruit (replace) or if my succession plan covers the gap.

Did your manager put together a PDP at your appraisal? They may feel like this was a waste of their time if so.

I wish I would stumble across my dream job whilst browsing the web

[MascaraAndConverse89]

Yanbu. She should expect this to happen. You aren't leaving without working your notice I presume, so she has time to find someone else. The fact that they are having a "recruitment freeze" isn't your problem and you shouldn't put your life on hold to make your boss happy.

[wasonthelist]

YANBU - but as Quad says, this seems very sector specific.

For every job I've ever had, the only thing telling a boss I was thinking of leaving would have done would either get me fired or ensure I wasn't given a rise or promotion.

I had a similar sniffy response to handing in my notice once. Within a couple of years the office was closed and everyone made redundant - so their "loyalty" did them loads of good.

[HermioneWeasley]

No, perfectly normal to do this

Sometimes, if you have a really strong and mature relationship with your boss you can have a frank conversation about your career and whether the company can meet what you want. I have both done this and had people have this conversation with me, but usually people don't say beforehand

[BeanGirls]

Yanbu

[QuadrupleL]

I am a teacher and it would be very unusual to NOT tell the Head and your line manager. I had no idea this was not the normal thing to do until someone in my department who started his teacher career with me but had worked in IT for years applied for another job without telling me - was quite surprised and a bit miffed when I got the reference request!

However, that is apparently how the rest of the working world works so YANBU It is just a shame that it was so soon after that convo!

[Junosmum]

YANBU. I have always given my boss a heads up when applying for jobs, but that's because I've had very good relationships with my boss' and the applications have been for step up jobs which my boss has always been supportive of. If I'd found a role to apply for like you did I wouldn't have mentioned it, and don't see why you should have.

I'd say your boss being irritated is because she/ he doesn't want to lose a good employee.