The use of "go fund me" these days is a bit like online begging

[BlackGirlAndRobin]

I get that its used for a lot of good, which is great, and I've readily supported friends in the past who were raising funds for charity etc. But recently I've seen some rather dubious fundraising attempts which have left me thinking

The one I've just seen is for a "homeless" soldier who has had his bedsit broken into. The thieves took his "Apple Mac" laptop which had precious photos of his time as a soldier. This person has raised over £800 so far.

Other one I saw was a guy who wasn't eligible for a maintenance style grant to study away from home. So was asking for help to pay for his accommodation.

I'm being cynical unreasonable, aren't I? Obviously each to their own and all that.

[IonaNE]

There is nothing wrong with begging.
"Crass" = taste judgment (irrelevant as subjective).

[Unreasonablebetty]

I think it kind of has its place.

There is a family I would love to help out financially at the moment, but I'm just not close enough to them to be able to go up to them and give cash, and they've recently moved so I don't have an address. They are lovely people, and have a son who's seven years of age, and he has just been diagnosed with leukaemia, they travel 60 miles for his treatment twice a week from my understanding, the mum has had had to give up work to be able to take him for his appointments and take care of him when he's feeling rotten. Apparently the cost that all the petrol and other expenses comes to is about £600 a month- not said by them but a mutual friend... But just handing them money seems a bit like I'm trying to do something only because I can seem like a great person.

It's that kind of situation that I think go fund me is great for.

But i have seen some people advertising their gfm causes.
One of which was a friend of mine who has been through the mill over the past two years, but most of which was brought on by being irresponsible, she lost her daughter, has been evicted twice because she hasn't paid her rent... Her life's a bit of a mess. But she set up a gfm so people could pay for her to get married.
She wanted £10000 for this wedding and to go to Vegas on a honeymoon. She was so pissed off that no one paid towards this, but it's not fair for her to expect that people will just hand out the money for her wedding.

some requests are honestly so bad. People seem to think that people should pay for their holidays. Fertility treatments, cars. Aren't these things people should pay for themselves?

[Sallystyle]

I don't care if it's a cultural difference.

Asking for money from people to give your children money for their future because their dad died is crass and begging.

[MaidOfStars]

These things come from culture and upbringing and as such are not basis for any moral judgment
Lost me there.

I certainly can and will judge. On various matters, political issues, whatever.

[IonaNE]

I would never, ever have the cheek (...) I think it's crass.
These things come from culture and upbringing and as such are not basis for any moral judgment. In other words something is not "wrong" just because you find it cringeworthy. And, as not-British-born, with close family in 3 other countries, let me add that many British people seem to have a lot of things which they would "never do" because they would "die of shame". Most recently in my open-plan office at work two female British co-workers agreed that they would absolutely never eat an ice-lolly in the office, they would "rather die". They also agreed that a banana was a no-no, too. (I was completely at a loss as to why, until some male co-workers joined in with suggestive remarks...). So, just because some of you on here find asking for money cringeworthy, it does not mean it's wrong. You wouldn't do it, fine. In other cultures it's stupid not to ask when you might get.

[StrawberryTeaLeaf]

I don't think so ssd. That's why we have charities and oversight and rules, isn't it? So that we don't have to weigh up hard luck stories ourselves and can give in an organised, targeted, tax efficient way instead.

[ssd]

I've never looked on the gofundme page before, I didn't know it existed as I give to charity by direct debit.

Am I really heartless to wonder if some of the more tragic stories are genuine? I really wouldn't know how to sort out the wheat from the chaff in there. Maybe I'm too cynical?

[MidniteScribbler]

I had one pop up on my newsfeed last year where a girl wanted funds to take her dog overseas to a dog show. WTF?

As I said earlier, I only donate through registered charities. I raised over 15k a number of years ago for a particular cause, and it is regulated through the charity, the funds are kept with them, and the family provides quotes or receipts for items relating to the reason the funds were raised. It's also good, because as it is for a child, the money goes directly to support him.

[Sallystyle]

I would never, ever have the cheek to ask people to give my children money because their dad died.

I think it's crass.

Maybe ill ask people to donate money to me because I no longer get the financial help from their dad like I did when he was alive. Why not? It seems anything goes.

[IonaNE]

So it's begging.
And? What's wrong with begging?
Yes, it's begging. The same as the homeless guy in the street. If you want, you give. If you don't, you don't.

[WhoTheFuckIsSimon]

I guess.

I would only donate to someone I knew, even if only indirectly. I least then I know it's genuine.

While we're vaguely on the subject what happened to that other british premature baby born abroad recently? Mum was doing an appeal as she reckoned insurance weren't paying and sick baby was evicted from the private hospital to the dirty state one?

[Enjolrass]

People dont have to donate though do they?

It's not always as simple as that though.

Some, like dax and the Heathrow couple, were down right misleading.

That's what I object to. If people want to ask for money for a fitness instructor course....to me that's fine. Because you can either give or not.

If they are only telling half truths to make their situation sound dire when it's not, then it's wrong and there should be something that can be done about it.

Not everyone has the resources or the life experience or skills to spot when people are talking shit.

[WhoTheFuckIsSimon]

People dont have to donate though do they?

I would happily pay towards a 12yo with cancer for their medical treatment. I wouldn't pay towards someone's fitness instructor course.


One of dds teachers was killed recently and some of his friends did a GoFundMe type appeal for donations for his wife and young kids. I happily donated. I like to think that a community rallies together when someone is going through something like that.

[skyofdiamonds]

Someone had a 'justgiving' for their cat's vet bills, despite that fact the condition it has was most likely to be unsurvivable.

FFS

[whois]

one to raise money for a baby's future when her dad died very suddenly

Yeah, that's begging.

Once you've got a baby on the way you need to think about ensuring their financial security in the worst case scenario and putting into place life/income insurance products.

[munkisocks]

I'm wondering if some of my dh family might set one up. His six year old cousin received diagnosis yesterday of her cancer and might be sent for treatment in US for a few months. It is NHS funded though so not sure.

Alot of them are usually just begging. I think I heard of one to fund a couple who wanted to quit their jobs and travel the world. Like I'd pay their bloody hotel bills and plane tickets lol.

[Absentmindedwoman]

I think crowd funding has its place for things like the arts and social enterprise. I saw a great one a few years ago for a community arts cafe, at the time I wasn't really in a position to donate, but think that is an ideal example of how it can be used.

I like the other poster's example of a young elite athlete using it to get started out and make a name for themselves at a big competition, too.

[Sallystyle]

one to raise money for a baby's future when her dad died very suddenly


My children lost their dad. He didn't have time to leave them much money for their future at all. Didn't cross my mind to ask people to raise money to help fund their future though.

I only donate to registered charities.

[LaLyra]

I was "invited" recently to donate to a friend of a friend who was in the heartbreaking situation of having won tickets to the Abu Dhabi f1 race in a competition she'd entered knowing she didn't have the money for flights/hotels It's her favourite's last ever race in that team before he moves to another one and she was desperate for the chance to go and support him despite having been to several races and having met him several times this season already

Pure greed

[hibbleddible]

I also believe that fundraising for any genuine causes should be via a charity. The problem is that there is no oversight or fact checking on go fund me.

[hibbleddible]

The baby dax saga was truly shocking.

Initially it was to pay the baby's medical expenses, but then it was revealed they were covered by the media. Then it was to pay for accommodation, but that was provided by a charity. Then it was to pay for their bills back home, but that is something they would have needed to pay anyway.

The total was very high (over £30,000 I believe). They then said they would donate a large amount to Ronald MacDonald house, after a huge amount of pressure was put on them. No proof was ever provided about the amount of this donation.

Their reputation is now in tatters, and poor baby Dax will always have to live in the shadow of his parents greed and dishonesty. It was really disgusting for them to use their premature baby for their own financial gain.

I believe that they posted lots of photos on Facebook about all the new furniture and household items they bought.

[AndNowItsSeven]

Micah I said your post was ignorant , maybe naive is a better word. The nhs does not fund every cancer treatment available for a child even if it may save a child life. The nhs fund "what is necessary" based on cost and likely outcomes. Just because the nhs won't fund treatment doesn't mean it isn't a viable option.

[Shirtsleeves]

"I said the NHS can fund treatment abroad, not that they always do."

And if you were your child, I'd imagine you'd do everything in your power to ensure they got the treatment, not crossing your fingers and hoping that, this time, your child would be approved for funding.

The immunotherapy that was successful in raising the survival rate for children with high risk neuroblastoma is now available in the UK. Some years ago, it wasn't. It wasn't quack treatment, the UK and Europe were just behind.

[MaidOfStars]

Micah I'd rather give the money to a registered charity where the funds meet the same end, but there is regulation over money raised

In a previous post, I mentioned how I'd given money as a personal donation for a US treatment not offered here, but that my donation was contingent on a personal relationship with the recipient's mother.

I would feel far more comfortable donating to an unknown if it were administered by a charity.

[MaidOfStars]

40% chance of survival is not the same as 40% chance of a treatment being successful (which is what Micah was asking for evidence for).