To expect to be able to spend some time at home at weekends (without screens)

[thinkingmakesitso]

This happens most weekends and it is really getting me down. Dc get up, usually by 7, come in for a cuddle and then go downstairs and I follow them within about half an hour. Screens go on as soon as they are downstairs. I sit at kitchen table drinking coffee on MN. As soon as I am showered, it's screens off (by 9) and that is where the trouble starts.

I think they have a decent amount of toys, though ds1 doesn't really do toys, and we have plenty of space, but both dc seem so limited in what they will do. They can't agree on playing anything together; ds2 just wants to sing bloody Paloma Faith songs through his microphone; ds1 just sort of mopes around. I have suggested board games, with me playing, bt he doesn't want to. He wants to play some Egyptian God game, which would involve me dressing up and doing role-play, which tbh, I can't muster the enthusiasm for. He is a good and enthusiastic reader, but hates reading in the day and seems to only read at night (after 'ights out' ).

Yes, we could go out, and I pln to after lunch, but I wish we could spend time at home without it being a battle. Our house is lovely and I need to get the washing done and, tbh, after a busy week I like a slow start to the weekend. I am happy to interact by helping with crafts, reading, playing board games, but just don't want to leap around roaring. Surely that is not UR?

It is so disappointing to look forward to the weekends just for them to turn out like this, unless we do a big day out, which we do about once a month. I just hate the feeling that we can't just spend time at home. AIBU - do others have this, or do you plan stuff to ensure it doesn't happen. Dc are 8 & 6 - surely old enough to amuse themselves at home for a few hours.

[wonkylegs]

Screen free time here is after lunch - it means I can have a lie in/do things I need to do etc in the morning without DS under my feet and we can do other things together or individually in the afternoon. He's fab at playing on his own with lego, cars, reading etc but sometimes we go out, play family board games, do gardening together, play football, do guitar practice (we are both learning guitar together) or do homework. Sometimes DS shuts himself in his room with his stereo on and listens to music, this afternoon he's helping me sort some baby stuff out.

[AliceTerrapin]

I blame the demise in decent weekend tv. What are you supposed to do without Going Live or Ant and Dec on a Saturday morning?
In allseriiusness, what is the issue with relaxing and watching it playing at the weekend? Is there really more value in stripping a dresser than watching tv or playing a computer game? Is this about the parent needing their child more than their child needing them? We just get on with what we want at the weekends. I can't imagine forcing anyone to do something boring. If they want to do it fine but shouldn't kids be allowed some time off from worthiness? Because if you ask them, I bet most would rather just be left alone in their own space once in a while.

[EWLT]

Thing is though Alice, if you watch them, you know they enjoy themselves and are happier once they get involved in doing almost anything but the screen. Like MN, really, I know I'll have a better afternoon if I turn it off, but it's so hard to do.

[TalkinPeas]

artandco
We will head out to an exhibition after lunch, and taking them to the theatre tonight. Tomorrow we have a bike ride in new forest planned ( so need to drive their early and back late). No time for TV for the children really anyway
Ah, the benefits of living in London and having the spare cash to spend £40 of fuel on a cycle ride 70 miles from home rather than in your local area

Kids under 10 are often happy to "play"
Screens are an absolute godsend for parents of teens.

[AliceTerrapin]

Your comparison with MN strikes a chord! I agree as long as it's something nice and not just to show off how worthy the family is. I know people who think nothing is worth spending time in unless it's educational. I think there are times kids just need to switch off and be left alone. The thought of my parents trying to share my time off in the late 70s...we would have been horrified.

[HereIAm20]

Is it only me that thinks if you don't want them to have screen time then just turn them off? They are 8 and 6!

[TalkinPeas]

Is it only me that thinks if you don't want them to have screen time then just turn them off? They are 8 and 6!
Why should they go out in the rain and the wind when the weather is manky?
What about those without safe places to play?

[Shebangsthedrumsshedoes]

Normally we are out enjoying ourselves on a Saturday but one of my DC is not feeling well so we are staying in. So far, my DD has written a little story, all 3 DC have drawn, painted and cut out and stuck things to make posters. We've had a pretend birthday party for my DS complete with magic tricks etc. They are currently building a race track for their cars whilst I finish my lunch & read Mn in the next room. Nobody has mentioned television. I don't relate to this problem at all. Mine are still quite young - 6, 4 & 2 so maybe things will change. I won't be happy when they do. I don't think it will be anywhere near as much fun for anyone.

[Marynary]

What is your point Shebangsthedrumsshedoes?

[TheBunnyOfDoom]

Why should they go out in the rain and the wind when the weather is manky?

Nobody said anything about going out? There are plenty of things to do inside that don't involve screens! Reading, colouring, baking, arts/crafts, lego, models, role-play, board games, cards...none of those involve screens.

[MrsGentlyBenevolent]

I love how some think the 'problem' of technology is so recent. Over 20 years ago, you would have found me glued to a Gameboy, or the tv if the batteries had died. If I did go to a friend's house, it was to play on their home computer (such an amazing thing for me at the time, someone having a pc at home ). My mother wanted me to play dolls with her, or was dragged to ballet lessons, it was so boring. Those were things she enjoyed, she never tried to engage in my interests. Seems the OP is the same, perhaps if you showed an interest in what they enjoy doing, they might compromise by putting down the computers and engaging with your hobbies.

[AliceTerrapin]

Shebangsthedrumshedoes
Sounds ghastly to me. Still, horses for courses but don't be surprised if soon their idea of fun doesn't fill your need for your children's friendship

[thinkingmakesitso]

HereIam If you read the OP properly, you would see that I do in fact turn the screens off. My problem is that the dc then often struggle to find something else to do, or, I can admit, something that I find acceptable on a Saturday morning when I am still very tired after a busy week. Unlike, it seems, all these children on here who play imaginatively and independently constantly, with no effort whatsoever on the poster's part.

MrsGently I would love to know where you get the idea from that I take no interest in my children's hobbies and want them only to engage in mine. Really, do tell me what I have said to give you that impression. I said I didn't feel up to dressing up and doing role-play, but that is because I have been up at 5am every day this week, have had a parents' evening untim 7.30 one evening, and on the other days I have been at school from 7.30-5.30, then done stuff with the dc til bedtime and then worked again a bit more on three of the evenings. So, I don't feel that energetic on Saturday morning, sorry. I suggested a range of other things the dc might have liked to do, and I have spent a lot of time today being lectured on Egyptian gods (ds1) and discussing the merits of Paloma Faith's albums with ds2. I absolutely take an interest in my dc's hobbies thanks.

It's just that I, and they, often struggle to settle into the weekend after the busyness of the week. Think posters are might that I maybe should just ease up a bit.

[TalkinPeas]

TBH when mine were 8 and 6 they shared a room and used to build dens and castles (mattresses off beds and duvets for the roof)
or lego or cars or knex or dolls on lego trains
and on sunny days they would make castles on the climbing frame or dig big holes in the veg garden

but on the days when they want to do zilch but look at a book or a magazine or the screen equivalent, what is wrong with that

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

If you don't feel energetic enough on a Saturday morning, may be your DC don't either?

I think the problem is that you see "screens" as a bad thing, and they don't need to be. What about setting a later time limit?

[Shebangsthedrumsshedoes]

I said we are normally out on Saturdays but one of my kids is ill. I don't see how staring at screens would help my children's friendships. What a strange thing to say. I shouldn't even bother responding to someone who refers to my children's day as ghastly.

My point was - the Op asked if others had this problem. I said - not yet but I am aware it may come. For now, whilst my children are younger than hers they enjoy playing and making things. For that I have been insulted by a couple of rude internet warriors. Nice!

[Shebangsthedrumsshedoes]

Alice - I have just realised you said my need for my children's friendship. You did read the bit about 2 of them being preschoolers? I'd like to think I spent time with my 2 year old.

[AliceTerrapin]

Just read what you posted and consider how judgemental it sounded. Especially as you seem to be having "screen time" whilst posting lists designed to make people feel awkward. I don't understand why anyone would force their children to do these things. Why can't they just relax like you are?

[TalkinPeas]

Mine are still quite young - 6, 4 & 2 so maybe things will change. I won't be happy when they do. I don't think it will be anywhere near as much fun for anyone.
Lol
they will be grunting teens in the blink of an eye
sniggering at snapchat and shooting alien scum on the xbox

[Stradbroke]

I find once screens are on then they stay on so they are never on in the morning. Neither of mine would ever even ask, it just does not happen. So they find things to do. Sometimes they are more bored than other and sometimes it's fine.

Today DS (9) has played lego, but I did play with him, DD (6) has played with her kitchen and we all played with her when she was being teacher (very bossy!).

Once it hits about 4 they know that screens are more likely and surprisingly that is when they get bored and suddenly can't think of what else to do!

Screens are the easiest form of entertainment (for us all) and therefore if kids know they are an option they will go for them. If they know they are not an option then they will find other things to do.

My experience anyway.

[TalkinPeas]

How to call a family meeting in a house with teens : unplug the router and stand by it

[Shebangsthedrumsshedoes]

Alice - I didn't even suggest they do any of those things so certainly didn't force them. The 6 year old tends to organise her younger siblings and they all want to do what she wants to do. I helped cut things out for the younger 2 to stick and watched the magic tricks they performed and they did the rest.

It doesn't explain why you would describe what someone's very young children do with their day as ghastly especially as it wasn't. They are just little and easily amused. I still have no idea why you would say anyone with a 6, 4 & 2 year old has 'their own need for their children's friendship'. Don't bother responding though. I have a feeling you are just nasty.

And yes, I was on mn whilst having my lunch and again now whilst my children are playing. I don't think screen time is wrong. My children just aren't interested in it yet. They are tiny. Like I said, I know that will change.

[drizellatremaine]

I haven't read the whole thread, but just wanted to see I don't think you are BU, and, as you can see, many people are in the same boat.
I also disagree with the posters who think you are U for not wanting to play the Egyptian game!

[drizellatremaine]

say not see.

[AliceTerrapin]

I'm not nasty I just don't think enforced fun with parents is normal. At any age.