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AIBU?

To be shit scared of telling my manager I'm handing in my notice?

48 replies

MsRamone · 09/10/2015 17:59

I'm a newly qualified nurse.

Back in March I secured a staff nurse job on a ward I liked so I accepted it (whilst still a student).

However, my last placement was in the community - And I loved it!

So - upon leaving university my manager (of the ward) agreed to take me on as a care assistant until my pin number came through. I started as a care assistant early September. Upon starting, I've discovered the ward is awful - Me and the other new starter were given 7 shifts in a row and when queried the manager went mental and shouted that she dictates the shifts, not us. On top of this I recently heard a staff nurse slagging me off to A PATIENT!!!! and we still have no off duty for November which is ridiculous. We can't plan anything in our personal lives as we have no idea what shifts we will be working in 4 weeks time - same goes for the staff nurses that have worked on there years so it's not something that will get better once we have our pin numbers. And on top of this - the ward is ridiculously short staffed and the patients are so demanding - the staff nurses keep saying to us "why do you think everyone is leaving?" and "why you want to work on here is beyond me, everyone else wants to leave!"

Then, job came up in the community - I thought I had no chance but applied for it anyway. Interview was today and I got it!!!

Now my problem is telling my manager that I'm leaving before my pin number has even come through.

She's not the most approachable woman and she's going to go absolutely ape shit. I'm scared to death of telling her (and then working my 4 week notice!!)

How the hell do I approach this when she's done me a favour by allowing me to work as a care assistant and has paid for my post uni training, uniform and has spent time organising me into the staff rota etc.

She's going to go mad. Rightly or wrongly? AIBU here and do I deserve the shit storm coming my way?

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blueeyedpea · 10/10/2015 10:45

Don't go off sick unless you are sick. If there are issues with her response then go to HR to sort things out for you, they cannot deal with a poor manager unless they know what is happening. You are moving on to a good post and should remain professional. Good luck in your new job.

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helzapoppin2 · 10/10/2015 10:32

Congratulations! Your manager's attitude should be delight that you've been offered a great job which advances your career. If it's not, then she has a problem! Go forward, enjoy the new job.

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HelsBels3000 · 10/10/2015 10:26

If she goes mental you are suddenly feeling bullied/victimised/depressed and off to the doctors you go to get a sick note. I wouldn't advocate this at all under normal circumstances but your boss sounds absolutely horrendous and I wouldn't be able to carry on working there for a minute longer.

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TwigletLola · 10/10/2015 10:20

Ah crosspost! I think our bank staff still have to do a probationary period if they get given a permanent role so it should just be one week's notice you have to give, fingers crossed!

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MissDemelzaCarne · 10/10/2015 10:20

Can't you do Bank work whilst waiting for your new post?

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TwigletLola · 10/10/2015 10:19

What position did you work in before this one and when did you start that? You might still be in your probationary period even if you've switched roles. I've never had to deal with staff without contracts so don't know the answer to that. I would definitely speak to HR and see what they say.

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MissDemelzaCarne · 10/10/2015 10:19

Yes, HR will be able to advise you of this.

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MsRamone · 10/10/2015 10:18

Can HR tell me how much notice I need to give so that I don't have to ask her?

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MsRamone · 10/10/2015 10:17

I was a bank nurse, so casual hours contract

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MissDemelzaCarne · 10/10/2015 10:17

You should check with HR, but if you were previously employed for more than six months, this may not apply.
What job were you doing in the Trust before?

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MsRamone · 10/10/2015 10:16

Ok I'll approach her next week and tell her my intention to leave. If I'm entitled to any annual leave does she have to give me it?

Thing is, if I tell her on the Monday and says I have a weeks notice to give and I can't start my new job until November - I'm going to in dire straights money wise as I won't get paid for the full month

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DoreenLethal · 10/10/2015 10:12

If you haven't got a contract then the default applies. Which I believe is one week.

www.gov.uk/handing-in-your-notice/overview

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MsRamone · 10/10/2015 10:11

Ooo I'll check! that would be ace if it was just one week! Where will I find that out as they never actually gave me a contract (I worked for the trust previously so it was just a 'change of position')

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MissDemelzaCarne · 10/10/2015 10:08

Have you checked the small print OP? In my trust too it is only one weeks notice, from either side, in the first six months.

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tableanadchairs · 10/10/2015 10:04

I too hate conflict but in this case you don't have to give a reason. If she insists just say that the shift pattern works better for you.
However can l just add that as a fellow nurse 7 days in a row working is not unfair or unusual, many times we do 10 days stretches - yes l am a community nurse and it is not the Monday-Friday 9-5 job that everyone expects- it is the nature of the job. Off duty is seldom put up sooner than 2 weeks prior to the start of the month. That is the reason you have request books and shift swaps.

Anyway good luck in your new job Flowers

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TwigletLola · 10/10/2015 09:58

Please please check your contract, in our trust you only need to give one week's notice if you are still in your probationary period (first 6 months of employment) so you might be able to get out earlier! It sounds like a terrible ward to work on so I'm not surprised you want to leave. If you feel up to it you could always mention her behaviour to HR because she's definitely not acting as someone of her banding should be but I understand if you don't feel able to do that. Good luck with the new job!

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FishWithABicycle · 10/10/2015 09:51

When I applied for this 2nd job it was early September so technically - I wasn't working at that point. So when filling in the application form I didn't know what to write as technically I had a job but I'd not actually started it so I couldn't put it down as a current employer without it coming across as false.

That's fine then, you didn't lie.

Anyway I'm going to email the manager of my new job and mention that I have to give 4 weeks notice to my current employer (who I'd started with after the application was written, hence why it wasn't listed!)

All perfectly sensible.

The current (awful) job you are in is clearly only supposed to be a temporary thing to help you make ends meet while the pin comes through. I shouldn't think the new employer will give it a second thought.

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MsRamone · 10/10/2015 09:10

It's complicated - I got the first job months ago but didn't actually start until mid September. When I applied for this 2nd job it was early September so technically - I wasn't working at that point. So when filling in the application form I didn't know what to write as technically I had a job but I'd not actually started it so I couldn't put it down as a current employer without it coming across as false.

I don't know!

Anyway I'm going to email the manager of my new job and mention that I have to give 4 weeks notice to my current employer (who I'd started with after the application was written, hence why it wasn't listed!). God what a kerfuffle. To be fair I can't start this new job until November anyway as I won't have my pin until then so she's expecting a delayed start.

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lougle · 09/10/2015 20:10

"Well another thing is, my job offer does not know I am already employed - they never asked!"

Alarm bells are ringing now! Did you apply via NHS Jobs? The application form clearly states that you MUST include your most recent employer. If you don't declare your most recent employer you are lying by omission and could be dismissed for gross misconduct.

You need to phone HR of your new Trust first thing on Monday morning and tell them that you left your new employer off the application form because you were worried that she would react badly to the news that you were resigning, but now realise that it could be seen as lying about your employment history. They will want to ask your employer for a reference (although you could give the HR department as the address for reference and they would provide one).

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Sidge · 09/10/2015 19:48

And on top of this - the ward is ridiculously short staffed and the patients are so demanding

Don't be all rose-tinted glasses thinking it will be a million times better in the community! Welcome to nursing, that's pretty much how it is everywhere.

However I wish you well and I'm chuffed you've got a better job to look forward to. I second giving notice through HR rather than direct to the ward manager; she hasn't done you a favour, you're just another cog in the wheel of a much bigger organisation. And she doesn't employ you, the NHS does.

As the other have said, if she does kick off then just point out to her that you don't want to spend your working days with someone so unsupportive and hostile and you are leaving for better opportunities.

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MsJamieFraser · 09/10/2015 19:28

Did you not post this a few weeks ago? but on that you said the manager was really nice? Hmm or was that a different thread?

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Allgunsblazing · 09/10/2015 19:26

OP, don't lie! I could never ever work with someone who lied, even through omission. I don't care how scared you'd be, you do not lie in this job. Ever.

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MsRamone · 09/10/2015 19:19

Well another thing is, my job offer does not know I am already employed - they never asked! So as far as they know I'm coming to them straight from university as I was so scared of her finding out that I did not include the ward in employment history. It's ridiculous isn't it.
I'm going to tell her first thing Monday morning. I want out of there asap.

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SealSong · 09/10/2015 19:11

I work in the NHS, I know what a difficult environment it can be. One possibility would be for you to hand your notice in via HR and ask them to contact your manager on your behalf, saying the request is due to your fear of your manager's reaction. I've generally found HR in the NHS to be pretty approachable.

But honestly do not think twice about leaving the shitty job, the job in the community sounds like it is worth grabbing with both hands. Good luck and just stay focussed on thoughts of your future career.

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Muckogy · 09/10/2015 19:11

i hate conflict too.
but sometimes you just have to face things.
honestly you'll feel better once you tell her, regardless of her reaction.
what can she do? hit you? fire you?

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