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AIBU?

To get frustrated with DH's way of doing laundry?

38 replies

ArabellaBoo · 19/08/2015 13:08

DH rarely does any laundry, which is a sore point with me anyway, but on the rare occasion he does do it all he does is dump a huge load of washing in the machine, usually with a brand new white bra of mine in amongst loads of dark stuff. He puts the washer on and then just leaves it all.

He might take out and tumble dry the odd thing if he wants to wear it but everything else is just left. For the drying/ironing/putting away fairies to sort out.

AIBU to fucked off with him?

OP posts:

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Thurlow · 19/08/2015 14:41

Stop doing his laundry. Simple.

Best decision I made years ago was to stop doing OH's laundry. Our clothes are only now washed together as we have DC and it seemed silly. Plus he stepped up considerable on other things. So I do do most of the laundry in the house, but we now have a split load.

Who cares if it is less efficient. Sod it.

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murmuration · 19/08/2015 14:42

I second those saying just do your own -- he'll have to manage his, and it'll on him if his clothes are wet and mouldy.

hopper, we do seperate laundry, and I'm always doing a full load. I tend to DD's as well, since our clothes often need similar cycles, and every once and while I'll do some of DH's -- a red load, for example. But there is more than enough laundry to go around, so it wouldn't matter if we were lumping or not as we'd run the same number of loads.

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hopperglove · 19/08/2015 14:45

Fair enough- I just find it easier to do OHs while I do everyone else's.

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OOAOML · 19/08/2015 15:14

I do the laundry for myself, my husband, and the children. This works better because I am fussier about what goes in the machine with what - most of his clothes are black and he is not fussy about what goes in with what. However we agreed from the start that if I did laundry he would do dishes (we don't have a dishwasher). OP's husband doesn't seem likely to take on other work to compensate for her doing all the laundry though.

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hopperglove · 19/08/2015 15:21

Laundry is one of the very few household tasks that I actually enjoy. Today I have done 6 loads of washing, including stripping beds ( kids are back at school today) and hung them all outside. It's a glorious sunny slightly breezy day, and all the washing is nearly dry, smells fresh and warm. Just to fold and put away ( I don't iron).

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SurlyCue · 19/08/2015 15:35

Jealous of your ability to dry six loads! it is as wet as a wet thing here, i left my washing out last night expecting more of the lovely sun we had yesterday. Woke up to a note on the kitchen window from neighbours saying she had brought it in as it was spitting (she was coming in from night shift-and is a saint!) so now i cant put a load on today as ive to finish drying off yesterdays load in the hotpress. I have no TD.

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trollkonor · 19/08/2015 15:40

Hopperglove

It's fair enough if both partners takes on and owns one of the different household relentless mundane tasks ... but that is not whats happenng here.

It's true that it is more economical to put all delcates in one wash, all whites, all colours, regardless of who's it is... but that's not the focus of people who are suggesting they each do their own. That woukd be the answer to a very diferent post. Posters are suggesting it so he has to live with the consequences of his actions, realise how much work is involved and act as a functioning adult.

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merrymouse · 19/08/2015 15:42

But isn't it more economical to bulk loads together rather than everyone do their own thing?

Yes, but if you live alone you have to do your own laundry. More economical to do separate than risk mould, colour run and shrinkage. Better for the relationship to leave DH to his own devices. At least with laundry he is the only one who will suffer if he has no clean clothes (unlike washing up).

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Moln · 19/08/2015 15:43

SurlyCue she is a saint!!

OP exclude his from yours, if he's putting them in the machine and leaving them he's not doing laundry at all, it's not his 'way'.

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whois · 19/08/2015 16:51

I really don't understand how people need to share laundry to make a load!

I have one of dark clothes a week, one of sports kit and usually a smaller load of light coloured stuff.

I don't need to do DPs laundry to make my loads more efficient as the darks are usually full to bursting anyway and there isn't room in my lights to do more than a couple of DPs shirts so it's better if he just does those all together on his own.

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Mintyy · 19/08/2015 16:56

Exactly, whois. I did laundry for 1 for at least 10 years and my ecological sensibilities won't allow me to do anything less than a full load. I did about 3 loads a week then, sometimes only 2! Oh how easy it was.

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hopperglove · 19/08/2015 16:59

Do you have separate laundry bins? What about the communal stuff and kids clothes?

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coveredinsnot · 19/08/2015 17:35

I had this problem with my dh a few years ago. Caused much tension and arguments. Both working full time, young dc, I was also studying and doing the bulk of the housework and all the laundry. Occasionally he'd do a load in precisely the way your dh does! And would seem proud of the fact, too!

Eventually I refused to do his. It felt petty and wrong to begin with but he just wasn't willing to change. He also couldn't even be arsed to put his clothes in the laundry basket but would drop things near it....

Eventually he ended up paying for a laundry service to collect and deliver laundry! It cost the same as taking it to a launderette but given we were struggling financially at the time.... Grrrrrrrrr.

Now we have a tumble dryer and there is peace across the land