To think we can feel for poor people without bashing on those who have more ?

[bereal7]

I've just been reading a thread where the OP is going through a very hard time and everyone, ofcourse, sympathises. Then , like is usual, someone brings up the fact that CEOs are earning millions plus and we should be angry about this. This isn't a TAAT; it happens too many times where people divert the thread to attacking people who are earning more than average (I.e lawyers, bankers, CEOs etc). I just think this doesn't help the OP , or anyone for that matter, and just contributes to a divide amongst the well - paid and average/below - average earners. So AIBU to think we can all (or most) feel sympathy for poor people whilst celebrating other people's success?

[IAmACat]

Batman and those who have kids who claim TCs often pay enough back over their working life. It's not any different!

[Geraniumred]

No one should be paid less than a living wage for what they do. otherwise what dignity is there in the work? Why should we not be angry over the fact that the badly paid can't afford to live on what they earn? This isn't Victorian times anymore. And yet we are told that we should be grateful we have a job and not mind that others earn x times more. Because being jealous isn't 'nice'.

[suzannefollowmyvan]

Image a world where women en masse decide to delay having children until they were established in their careers and with a partner who was genuinely willing and able to share the burden so that both their careers take an equal hit.

I doubt that there would be many children, we would become extinct in a few generations

[BeautifulBatman]

Suzanne plenty of people managed to have and afford kids before ctc and wtc were introduced. Bit of a non argument you have really.

[micromachine]

Tax credits pushed up rents and house prices though batman

[micromachine]

If your husband has been a higher rate tax payer for.20 years why on earth did you have to wait until 40 for a child?

[Mrsjayy]

I had a baby when we were skint there was working benefits early 90s working benefit top ups isnt a new invention my mother was a single parent early 70s worked Pt and had social security top ups. Not every woman /man can build up a career some folk have jobs are they not supposed to have children ?

[underblackstars]

Quit it with the personal questions.

She might only have met him eighteen months ago, one of them might have been seriously unwell, job might have been under threat, might have wanted to pay off their mortgage, any number of possibilities.

The point is she's saying she didn't just blithely sail into TTC expecting all to be well and she's right, though don't know if I'd be quite as self controlled. She can express her view without personal remarks.

[BeautifulBatman]

We only met 7 years ago, only got married 2.5 years ago. Both had financial commitments that neefed to be cleared first as we're both well aware that we'd be entitled to nothing unless our circumstances changed dramatically. Call me old fashioned but I think that's how things should flow.

[suzannefollowmyvan]

The poorly paid do all the work which enables the wealthy to cream off their vast salaries.
Top earners don't work hundreds of times harder, they just get themselves in positions where they are able to profit from the efforts of those below them.

The are talented in the art of diverting money into their own pockets ?

[BeautifulBatman]

under I can't get angry about all this. Bemused? Yes.

[BeautifulBatman]

Suzanne I can't decide whether you're ignorant or just trying to be plain offensive. My Dh sometimes works 6 days a week, 12-14 hours a day. He deserves every penny he gets. He's worked his way up for the best part of 30 years to get where he is. And he's not alone.

[micromachine]

You haven't been married that long by the time we will be 40 we will have been married over 20 years! It sounds like it is because you got in to debt and didn't meet each other until you were older are the real reasons.

[SaucyJack]

My nan had nine children back in the days before tax credits. Two of them died from preventable illnesses exacerbated by poor housing and malnutrition, and the ones that did survive used to beg for scraps whilst she performed sexual favours at the army barracks during the war.

Good times.

[BeautifulBatman]

We both had previous marriages that cost us. And we both were aware that we'd have to get the mortgage right down to be able to afford for me to be a sahm. If that's what you call debt then yes, we have reduced our debt. Not sure what point you're trying to make though micro. Or is this now a pissing competition about who's been married the longest?

[LoloKazolo]

Old fashioned? When exactly in history did people wait until they were forty years old to start a family?

The legal age of marriage was increased to the grand old age of 16 in 1929. (Or 1951 in Northern Ireland!)

[micromachine]

Then you have other reasons for waiting until 40 and it is definitely not something I would be recommending to others.

[BeautifulBatman]

Lolo my point was I met someone, then got married, then got financially stable, then got pregnant. Not the age I did it at.

[BeautifulBatman]

Micro, I wouldn't recommend waiting til forty either. Waiting til your financially self sufficient? Absolutely.

[Inim]

BeautifulBatman- my DP also works 6 days a week some weeks, 13 hour shifts a day. But were not as deserving of our DS clearly .

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

I dunno, my DH works really hard, we've done the skint years and never had any leg ups. DH earns well into six figures achieved purely on his own merit.

Having said all that, there is no way what he does is worth ten times what the average person does. I am quite uncomfortable with big wealth differentials and the way society is going.

[IAmACat]

And what if you're faced with an unplanned pregnancy Batman? You just let the child and parent suffer?

[micromachine]

We currently work significantly more hours than your dh and still claim benefits.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

Op this thread was always going to end up like this.

To answer your op, yes we can feel for those with less money as well as congratulate high earners. The trouble with your list of professions is that bankers have a bad press for being paid huge bonuses while tutoring their employees on effective means of tax avoidance, while the majority of CEOs were privately educated thus contributing to perceptions of inequality of opportinity and relatively poor standards of state education. Of course there are exceptions and there are probably some very value/ethics driven bankers and top earning state educated CEOs, but as 'professions' our collective perception of them is less than favourable.

*Disclaimer - I know some excellent CEOs both privately and state educated. The only experience I have of banking is my bil who earned a very high salary in London while going to great lengths to preserve his fortune with tax loopholes.

[micromachine]

I read somewhere 65% of families claim some form of benefit.