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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say something to her

16 replies

Thenights45 · 16/08/2015 11:11

My 20 year old dd has lossed a lot of weight over the past six months. She used to be about 12 stone and now she looks like she is about 7 stone. I'm concerned about the short amount of time in which she has loss this amount of weight and the fact she now looks like she is a bit underweight. She is about 5'3

OP posts:
Meeeeeeep · 16/08/2015 11:14

Tread carefully with this one. Has she discussed it with you at all? Has she been defensive? Do you have any idea how she's lost the weight? For example she is still eating but completely cut out carbs? Not eating? Doing one of these shake diets?

AnotherTimeMaybe · 16/08/2015 11:15

Does she look happy? Obsessed with weight loss? Depressed?
If her behaviour is ok and she doesn't loose anymore I wouldn't say anything!

Original poster
Thenights45 · 16/08/2015 11:17

No she hasn't spoken to me or her father or her sister who she is quite close to. She doesn't live with me so it hard to know how she's lossed the weight.

OP posts:
MarchLikeAnAnt · 16/08/2015 11:18

Are you sure you are not underestimating how much she weighs? 8 stone is about right for that height I would imagin?

BeautifulBatman · 16/08/2015 11:19

Sorry, but at 12 stone and 5'3, she needed to lose weight....

ImperialBlether · 16/08/2015 11:19

But that's why she's writing here, March - her daughter looks as though she's 7 stone, not 8 stone!

Original poster
Thenights45 · 16/08/2015 11:20

No I don't think so as I weigh about 8 stone and i am also the same height as her and she's a lot smaller than me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Thenights45 · 16/08/2015 11:21

Yes I'm aware that she needed to lose some weight but to lose so much weight in six months and now being underweight is Concerning.

OP posts:
MarchLikeAnAnt · 16/08/2015 11:23

Yes 'looks' . I don't know how good the op is at guessing weight, lots of people think healthy weight looks underweight.

BeautifulBatman · 16/08/2015 11:24

Exactly March.

MarchLikeAnAnt · 16/08/2015 11:24

Oops, sorry-slow typing and crappy connection. If youre 8 stone I imagining you could guess her weight accurately.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 16/08/2015 11:26

That does seem quite a dramatic weight loss in a relatively short time frame, do other members of the family share your concerns about her?

Sighing · 16/08/2015 11:27

And losing that amount in 6 months is not healthy. It's too rapid. Muscle tone will be lost and reserves depleted.

Meeeeeeep · 16/08/2015 11:31

Ok well in the last 4 weeks I've lost 11lbs so if I kept that going over for 6 months I could lose over 4.5 stone. I'm losing weight healthily so it may not be as drastic as you think.

Could your other daughter maybe have a chat with her? I know it's not ideal but if something is going on she may open up to her sister more than her mum? She coul approach it under the guise of wanting to drop a few pounds herself?

Sorry if that's terrible advice, I'm not really sure the best way to handle it but can understand your concern.

LazyLouLou · 16/08/2015 11:34

'depleting reserves' is how you lose weight Smile

OP, I too would suggest a chat with your other dd, see if she has any ideas and may be in a better place to have a quiet chat.

TheSkyAtNight · 16/08/2015 11:36

You definitely need to speak to her & ask what diet she is following. If not, how will you know if it is the beginning of anorexia or not? AN is easier to treat the sooner it's caught. If she's just been eating better & now feels she wants to stay the same weight, then great. If not, a GP referral to a dietician might be useful.

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