Going to keep this fairly short. Shortly before Valentine's Day, DP and I found out we were expecting our first child together (I have one 5 yr old DD already) and we figured I was already about 8 weeks. We wanted to tell his family straight away but we knew DPs sister had just gotten engaged the week before and that her engagement party was the following day, we didn't want to steal her thunder, so we decided to wait until a few days afterwards. His parents were happy enough, so we're mine, we phoned his sister (she lives 300miles away, face to face not an option) and she went ballistic, pretty much saying DPs life was over (he's 24) and that he would never travel or take a holiday or progress at work, and that it was alright for me to get myself in a mess because my life was already written off because of my DD, but that she wanted better for him, before we hung up we managed to give her a due date. Fast forward a couple of weeks and she has picked the date for her wedding! Which is the same day as our baby is due. And since then people on DPs side of the family seem to have forgotten that the due date was determined before the date of her wedding, but have told us 'we could have planned this better' and have generally had the attitude that I'm ruining her big day, especially as DP has said that unless the baby is at least a week old, neither of us will be coming to the wedding, as its too far from our hospital and he won't risk missing the birth. They think I'm forcing him to miss it. I'm not, I have my mum as back up birth partner and he could make it back in time, it was his choice.
So, am I the unreasonable one here?
AIBU?
To think this couldn't possibly have been planned?
happymummyone · 31/07/2015 13:23
She is clearly being ridiculous. Expecting you or DP to go to the wedding is crazy. Maybe if baby was a few days old and the venue nearby, I could see DP popping to the ceremony and to be in a family snap or two but otherwise as if. As if!
It would serve her right if you both attended and at the point of "I now pronounce you ..." You could leap up with an almighty screech and declare "the baby's coming, the baby's coming" and whip that thunder away there and then! 
Unfortunately, the only thing that makes people appreciate what it is like to be pregnant, support a pregnant partner or actually have children is actually doing it for themselves. You'll probably find that when she is pregnant you are all only allowed to eat certain foods, say certain words and wear certain colours to promote her happiness and well being 
In all honesty, I'd have liked to have planned it better myself, not for this bloody wedding, but because this baby is due a week after my DDs birthday, septembers are going to be pensive from now on! 
Never mind the wheres and whyfores, she's obviously a piece of work and your FIL's even worse. Good hear the other players in your life are decent human beings!
Depending on your character, either go to the wedding and spoil it by fresh from labour or going into labour, or ditch it with impunity. I'd go for ditch myself.
My recommended course of action when SIL floats in to go to sleep: Go to your mum's next door. Tell FIL to ring you when she's up, but prepare to entertain & feed yourselves instead.
The only possible reply to remarks about your shocking choice to accompany DH while pregnant () is "Don't be ridiculous."
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