To be pissed off with people who invite themselves round

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

Without even checking whether its convenient?
Friend text earlier saying 'i will drop round later after work'
I feel like crap and just want to go to bed tbh.
I know im ungrateful but whenever I want to pop and see a friend I will call or text saying 'hi ive got a card/gift/fancy a catch up- when will be convenient?'
Grrrrr grumpy old cow emoticon needed

YANBU, I hate having visitors at the best of time and I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone.

That really sets my teeth on fire!

I reply "would be lovely but I'm exhausted this eve so off to my bed early. You free later in the week?"

Why can't you say no not tonight, look forward to seeing you next year week.

Oh god no YANBU!!
I am literally dreading giving birth to this baby, not for the pain, but for people just "popping round" when they feel like it when it's born. No thanks! I think it's rude and would never turn up uninvited to someone's house!

Yes, why can't you just text and say today isn't good for you and suggest another time?

It isn't difficult.

just tell them you're unwell and that you don't want them to catch it.

Just tell them you're unwell and you will see them another time. Not sure what the issue is here?

Yes, just tell them you aren't up to it. Much easier these days. Uninvited guests at the door are a pain - but you've got your phone this time

You don't have to say you're unwell, just sorry, no can do tonight, another time hopefully?

So just text back and say 'it'll have to be another day, knackered n going 2 bed' Sorted, much easier than posting on aibu is this really the biggest problem in your life?

I will grin and bare it as she can't stay long but it's the assumption she can just pop in whenever without checking it's ok

Yes Tobysmum of course it is.
Just like every thread by everyone is always about the most important issue in their lives. Obvs.

it's the assumption she can just pop in whenever without checking it's ok

Well, if you never challenge that assumption, she will never change.

I have done in the past.
And if I'd not been feeling so rancid id have been out so said sorry no can do

That's awful, I thought my friend was bad with "I was thinking of dropping by later/tomorrow". Well, think away, I'm going to be sleeping/hiding when you do! Then again, I'm really anti-social and only work on an 'I invite you, you invite me' bases.

Text her back saying that you can't do tonight.

There's a MN classic for such situations:-

I'm sorry but that doesn't work for me

Use it.

Why do you think you are you afraid of telling the truth to others?

Anyone remotely sensitive, visiting you, will realise by your demeanour that you don't want them there, anyway.

You can work on being congruent by going on a 'mindful' course. It won't give you a ' I don't give a S**t attitude to others, but it will help you just be yourself.
The only behaviour that you can change is your own behaviour.

Since I learned to be myself, no one visits me without my say so. It is so energising to be yourself.

I just say stuff such as, 'lovely idea' and I ' love you to bits but I am tired out and I am going to tuck myself in bed up for an early night. ' speak soon, xx HIMH

I want to keep my lovely friends but I am more important to ME than them.
Xx