To think it's often better to just do your own thing and not rely on others?

[SisterOfTheVicar]

I find that I always end up getting let down by friends, and have had several bad experiences in the last few years. I consider myself to be a decent person and a good friend and I just always end up getting shat on from a great height.

I don't want to dwell on these experiences but I'm actually feeling less and less that I can be bothered with people and more and more that I'd rather just do things on my own and have my social interaction at work with the occasional night out, and at things like fitness classes and running club. Sort of like social interaction but with no commitment, if that makes sense?

Does anyone else feel like this?

Also to add I think that people who act in this manner seem to get more respect from others. I feel like not being as nice anymore and like being less bothered about people in general.

yes i text my dad and my best friend on tuesday to see if they could watch my son for an hour while i went to the solicitors they didnt even reply i understood my friend was busy but my dad has not even bothered to ring me to see if everything is ok

this is the dad who says call me if you need me i will be there umm i called

HELLOOOOOOOO!!?

I know what you mean OP but please don't think that these people get more respect. They might have more people hanging round them - much like flies around shite - but what they don't have is long term or solid friends. I'd rather have the few really sound friends that I have now than the many idiots bright and flighty people to whom I used to gravitate naturally. I've learned my lesson! Perhaps look at the people you're mixing with - you might find they're very much 'of a type'. Ditch them before they fuck you up!

When my DC were younger I stopped telling them who we were going to meet tomorrow/this afternoon as the arrangements were so often cancelled. They would get so upset

I feel a bit like this. I have to make an effort with friends because I'm scared of being lonely someday but really I'd prob be happier not bothering and just hanging out on my own. I have my dh and kids who satisfy my need for company, and beyond that sometimes flakey friends (of whom I have many) can seem more hassle than they're worth. I remind myself that one day my kids will be grown and my sh may die, or I'll be totally bored of his chat, so I'll need my girlfriends. Not a sentimental view but it's true

I never rely on people.

I do suggest to other people and their dcs that they could join us on a day out but I don't tell my dcs anything about it in case the other people flake out.

Ime, other people are flaky and unreliable. I just crack on with our own fun and refuse to rely on anyone elsewhere possible.

YANBU

YANBU! I feel the same. Fed up with last minute cancellations, friends not making any effort and a complete lack of gratitude when I do anything nice for them. Sod them all!
I don't tell DD any plans to see friends as she is so disappointed when they let us down. I thought it would get better when friends had their own children and saw the effect of their behaviour but if anything, it got worse.

Well I think YABU, as I get a huge amount of emotional support, but also fun and laughter from all sorts of friends from all parts of my life. I would be distraught at the idea of not having people to do things with or chat to.
I'm sorry you seem to have had some unhappy relationships, but I don't think giving up on forming friendships is a particularly healthy way forwards. We are wired to be part of communities.

I get what you're saying, but has no one spotted the irony of you posting that question here????

But to be serious, the best parents I know are the ones who trust their own instincts, and the best parenting I do is when I trust mine!

So YANBU

And don't forget the other group of friends who do turn up but are over an hour late