To be getting really frustrated with DP?

[bored1602]

We've recently moved into a new flat and an unexpected change in circumstances means that we're struggling financially in the short term. To save money I've been super careful with the shopping budget, buying exactly what we need, being careful with waste and leftovers and planning meals for the week (with DP's input, of course)

I asked DP to do the shop with me before I went to work (with my ridiculously detailed shopping list) and he said he'd rather hang on until tomorrow, which was fine. Instead, he let me know while I was as work that he'd done it himself - lovely!!

When I got home I realised he's totally ignored the carefully planned out list in favour of wondering around the shop aimlessly throwing things into the trolley. We've ended up with no bread, milk or cereal. We have mince but nothing I could conceivably cook with it, we have chicken but nothing to make it a meal. Absolutely nothing for both of our packed lunches. This isn't the first time he's done this, but it's the first time since we've had a bit less money floating about at the end of the month.

Now I'm stuck either a) freezing half the stuff he bought and spending my last free tenner this week on turning the other half into decent meals. or b) eating horrible combinations of stuff for the rest of the week so he understands why his shopping method just won't work!!

He seems to think he's done me a massive favour by doing the shopping - but as far as I'm concerned I still have to do the shopping, except now on an extremely limited budget!!

Am I being controlling and patronising? Or am I justified in being so frustrated?

[BarbarianMum]

I agree. If it's not the first time then leave it to him to sort out the wonderful mess that he's created. Time he grew up.

[GoBigOrange]

YANBU.

If I were you I'd grit my teeth and go with option b, so the pillock can see for himself exactly why just swanning around the store buying whatever appeals to him does not necessarily translate well into tasty balanced meals.

Either make him cook, so he is the one who struggles to produce reasonable food with the fruits of his twat-shop. Or cook him terrible food, and when he complains, calmly remind him that he did the shopping, not you, and you can only cook with what you've got.

Definitely don't go basics shopping with your last tenner spend it on tasty treats for yourself and don't share I mean, he did you the wondrous 'favour' of getting the shopping, right? Well then, as a capable adult he must surely have bought everything you two need... and if he didn't, then he needs to go back and get what he missed, if he can afford to do so anyway.

[LazyLouLou]

I too would throw him in the kitchen and ask him what the hell he would make for tea with all of his groceries?

Leave him to it, use your tenner to feed yourself...

[DontWorrryBaldrickHasACunningP]

Why should the OP have to teach him how to shop? He is a grown man FFS.

Go with Helen's suggestions make him cook, and tell him in no uncertain terms to grow up and start being more responsible.

[HelenF350]

Ask him to cook with the shopping he has bought. That ought to ensure it doesn't happen again!

[SorchaN]

I think you need to ask him why he didn't stick to the list. Surely he knows the budget is limited, so he needs to take responsibility for everything he spends. Can you go shopping together a couple of times so that you can teach him how to do it? It's a pain in the ass to have to do this, but most adults should be capable of planning and shopping to a budget. It sounds like he still needs to learn.