To think this is foolish?

[Bishopston]

Ok, to cut a long story short, last November I swapped email addresses with this 50 yr old guy I met in a local library. He seemed always a bit 'over keen' to talk, if you see what I mean, but on the day I swapped email addresses with him I was in quite a good mood and thought why not ( as a friend, not interested in him romantically). Anyway certain events happened after that totally unrelated to him which made me feel that despite being something of a people pleaser in the past, from now on I'm not going to bother making an effort with people if I'm not at all interested in them. Anyway, since last November he must've sent me at least 15 emails AND I'VE NOT REPLIED TO A SINGLE ONE!!!Yet he STILL continues to email me! Just asking me how I am etc. I mean, ffs the man's 50 yrs old, he should know that he's not really giving a good impression of himself by doing this!! I'm not interested!! Bore off!

[SurlyCue]

His age is no guage of how socially aware he is. There could be any number of reasons why he has sent 15 emails without a single response. I have family members on the autistic spectrum who would assume an email address exchange ment they were now friends and would continue to send emails despite no response. In fact one of them would actually torture herself and us with questions about why he'd had no response, she would imagine all sorts of things having happened to you and ask about contacting the police etc.

I dont think you have been fair to this man at all.

[Aladyinsane]

Blimey he can't win can he? He's emailed so he's not giving a good impression, if he hadn't emailed you'd get the impression he wasn't interested.

I think you should think twice about leading people on unless you really do want to make friends.

Emil him fgs otherwise next time you see him in person it'll be seriously awkward.

[Summerisle1]

Old chap indeed!

But this apart, why on earth did you give him your email address in the first place? Let alone get to the stage where he's sent you 15 emails. Long before now you could have let him down lightly. Instead, you've let the correspondence go on and on without the decency of even the briefest contact to say that actually, you'd rather not stay in touch. Which strikes me as very unkind.

[ttc2015]

He sounds very intense but to ignore is really unfair. Just email him back and be firm, make it clear you aren't interested in friendship. I know someone who is similarly intense and she often is sad when people reject her friendship but she she's so lonely and has such low self esteem that she ends up very intense. I often wish people would just tell her, instead they ignore or play her.

[silverglitterpisser]

I feel a bit sorry for him, u should deffo do as others say n e mail him once explaining u r not able to contact him at the moment, wish him well n then leave it. It's the polite n kind thing to do.

[Bishopston]

Ok well thanks for your responses.

[TwinkieTwinkle]

Why didn't you reply after his first email?

[Flossyfloof]

Your op is really nasty. being pleasant to people who you are not interested in doesn't mean selling your soul.

[treaclesoda]

I was thinking about this (I know! Too much time on my hands, too invested in other people's problems) and whilst I totally agree that no one can, or should, be forced to be 'friends' with someone when they don't want to be, is it not a bit ironic that you have chosen to withdraw from him because someone else hurt you? You have presumably hurt him and broken his trust too, by leading him to believe you wanted to be friends but then changing your mind. It's not a huge betrayal on the scale of ignoring a previously close friend, but it has still probably hurt him, and if he is lonely it will hurt all the more.

[BabyMurloc]

So you gave him your email address 8 months ago then just ignored him when he actually tried to contact you through it? Sorry but I find that incredibly rude. 15 emails is NOT excessive imo if it's been done over that time (it's what one every couple of weeks?) He probably really likes you and wants to make sure you are ok. He is also likely lonely.

I understand you don't want this contact and that's perfectly fine BUT you did initiate this (even if you wouldn't now) please just email him back and say politely "I'm sorry but a lot has happened since November and I'm not in a space where I feel able to try and build a relationship with you anymore."

Remember YOU intitiated this by giving out your details. You are allowed to change your mind but he likely will keep messaging you unless you spell it out. I don't think it's hugely excessive but if he's still going after 8 months? Time to let him down gently OP and then if he doesn't get the hint just block/ignore.

[Bishopston]

Thanks for your responses yes BabyMurloc maybe it would be kinder to acknowledge him just the once.

[GatoradeMeBitch]

Only acknowledge him if your email is something like 'Thank you for your lovely messages, I've been really busy, so I don't really have time for new friendships, but I hope all is well with you and wish you all the best for the future.'

And you don't sound like a bitch at all! You tried to be kind, but he is clearly a very needy individual. Just send one 'drawing a line under this' email, then block him if you get more.

[Bishopston]

Thanks Gatorade, appreciate your comment and I think that line you suggested wraps the situation/contact up well.