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AIBU?

Overnight guests.

65 replies

Callaird · 07/06/2015 12:03

If you have visitors overnight, what do you expect from them in regards to bedding?

I mean in the spare room.

I'm house/pet sitting this weekend, have been here a few nights, I'm leaving this afternoon. I washed and pegged out the washing, the dog was barking and running away from the sheets billowing in the wind and I posted a video to Facebook.

I've been told that I shouldn't have washed the bedding, that it's rude to use the (empty) washing machine in someone else's home!

I'm living in someone else's home! Using every available facility if I need it (fridge, dishwasher, oven and bathroom) surely washing the bedding the bedding you've dirtied is a nice thing?

FWIW - if I have guests, the least I expect is for them to strip the bed and bring bedding (and towels) down and leave it by the machine. However, if they don't, I wouldn't pull them up on it!!

OP posts:
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Lweji · 07/06/2015 23:43

People always leave a bit of sweat and skin cells on sheets. I wouldn't leave dirty sheets in a bed for months, with no breathing, particularly if I was going to wash them anyway.

I prefer to take the sheets out, wash and put them away, put the bed spread on the bed so it looks nice enough, then put new sheets when a guest comes along.

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Callaird · 07/06/2015 23:34

Ok, so maybe expect was the wrong word. If my guest don't strip the bed, it doesn't matter to me but having been brought up with guests stripping the bed in my mother's home, I guess it's what I'm used to.

I quite often have guests, sometimes unexpected, I like to change the bedding as soon as possible so I can wash, dry, iron and remake it. I have a throw that covers the made up guest bed and I remove and hide it just before they arrive.

I do know people who do not wash bedding between guests and that makes me itch!

The video just showed the dog and the billowy sheet, you can't see the house or the garden, just a small patch of grass.

The family were grateful but did say there was no need, that she would have got round to it at some point! They bought me wine, sweets and other goodies from their trip and also takeaway before I left.

I adore them all and would have sat for a hug (or a dozen!)

OP posts:
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Stinkersmum · 07/06/2015 20:37

My guests don't tend to leave obvious "bodily fluids" on the bed. In that case I would clean them straight away. Isn't it better to have clean sheets when a bed is being used rather than clean sheets when it isn't?

Maybe not obvious, but sure as shit there'll be sweat and skin cells - BOAK. Nope, beds get stripped as soon as possible in my house. Saying that, everything gets washed ASAP in my house, I do laundry every day.

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BlueStarsAtNight · 07/06/2015 19:51

It definitely wasn't rude to was the sheets in your situation OP, but generally I prefer guests not to strop the bed for similar reasons to others - I might not want to wash them right away and don't like the bed being unmade as the toddler (and occasionally dog) get on there and I don't want them on there with no bedding. Also because one of us may need to use the spare bed to get some sleep on a bad night, and lastly because the duvet is a bit old and not particularly pretty so I'd rather people didn't inspect it! It's only my mil who ever strips it when they stay, and it always bugs me.

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Merguez · 07/06/2015 19:34

I do exactly what Tarka does.

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TarkaTheOtter · 07/06/2015 19:25

Haha I have really low standards generally so I never know on here if I am admitting to something really dirty. I know that other people are generally cleaner than me so I make sure things for guests are as clean as possible!

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Roussette · 07/06/2015 19:23

Phew Tarka all that makes sense to me! I was beginning to feel like a total slattern Grin

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TarkaTheOtter · 07/06/2015 19:18

So you leave dirty sheets on the bed for a month or longer? With all the body fluids? Without even airing them?

Yuck.


My guests don't tend to leave obvious "bodily fluids" on the bed. In that case I would clean them straight away. Isn't it better to have clean sheets when a bed is being used rather than clean sheets when it isn't?

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LaLyra · 07/06/2015 18:52

I don't expect guests to do anything. If they strip the bed fine, if they don't fine, I don't really think about it tbh.

That said if someone had stayed when I was away and washed and dried bedding when they knew I had more guests coming I'd be very grateful because it's a very thoughtful gesture imo!

The person who said you were rude was rude imo, presumably your video was about the dog, not a 'look I used someone's washing machine' so their comment was uncalled for.

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Lweji · 07/06/2015 18:51

So you leave dirty sheets on the bed for a month or longer? With all the body fluids? Without even airing them?

Yuck.

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TarkaTheOtter · 07/06/2015 18:46

Tarka don't tell me you wash sheets/duvet cover on the day someone arrives, even if the bedding is clean?

No, that's my point. I don't wash them when guests leave because I prefer to put fresh ones on before they arrive and only want to wash them once.

If so, goodness me, I wouldn't dream of doing that. Sheets are clean whenever you changed them surely... why the need?

With two toddlers in the house nothing stays clean longer than a day or so. Also, we could go a month between guests. I wouldnt expect guests to sleep in sheets that had been on a bed for a month regardless of how much they had been slept in. They'd be starting to get dusty. Is that precious? I generally have very slovenly standards but that seems a bit grim to me.

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Lweji · 07/06/2015 18:41

It would piss me right off if you put laundry on as you wouldn't do it right.

Because you have such special bedding and washing machine?

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Lweji · 07/06/2015 18:39

Of course it's not rude, FGS.

It's very considerate of you, particularly as you're not a guest but is rather doing them a favour already in house and pet sitting.

In their place I'd be very pleased and thankful.

I hope they find a way of repaying you somehow for all your kindness.

As for the people who said it was rude... This:

I'd say it is rude to get narky with someone who has done you a favour whilst doing another favour!

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Pengweng · 07/06/2015 18:32

I always ask if they want me to strip the bed. Some people like me are fussy though and like to do it themselves as they have a certain way of washing things. I wouldn't think it was rude if someone staying at mine did what you did though. That's madness.

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Apricota · 07/06/2015 18:29

I like to have the spare bed all made up and ready to go. Then have a dust over over it. Then it's always ready. I prefer to strip it myself as there ar mattress toppers, protectors and on occasion they have all been pulled off.

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Marcelinewhyareyousomean · 07/06/2015 17:30

I'd hate a guest/ sitter to post a video my house/ garden on fb.

I'd rather guests didn't strip the bed. I always put fresh sheets on the bed but don't always do it straight away.

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cardibach · 07/06/2015 17:13

seaweed -shut the spare room door. No cat problems!
cariad -get a mattress cover.
Problems solved :)
I don't expect, but don't mind, bed stripping by guests. I just leave the stripped bedding in the spare room until I'm ready to wash it, or squash it down hard in the laundry basket if they bring it out as well as stripping it.

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PeppermintCrayon · 07/06/2015 17:11

I want the bedding left on so my cat doesn't play shred the duvet.

It would piss me right off if you put laundry on as you wouldn't do it right.

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cariadlet · 07/06/2015 16:56

I think it was thoughtful to strip the bed as it was a good drying day and it will save the family you are sitting for a job. Certainly not rude to use the washing machine.

It does seem a bit strange to expect guests to strip a bed. I've never done it myself and nor have any guests we've had.

Actually, I would really rather they didn't - our bedding is always clean, but the actual mattress is stained as dd often likes to sleep in the double bed in the spare room and she was quite old when she finally stopped bedwetting. We haven't replaced it yet (too wary after going for dry months only to have another accident) and would be absolutely mortified for a guest to see it.

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Optimist1 · 07/06/2015 16:29

You did exactly the right thing, OP - it would be such a shame to miss the opportunity of a Good Drying Day! Very little effort on your part, huge benefit to the family you've been house-sitting for and not at all rude to use their washing machine.

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Feminine · 07/06/2015 16:28

*stayed in

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Feminine · 07/06/2015 16:27

As a teen,when l stayed with my Dad and step mother, my Dad always expected me to strip the bed we started in and put it in the machine. We= me and my sister.
This was actually, quite mentally damaging at the time.
Today, l am a 43 year old woman. I'd be delighted to have an extra job done for me.

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Wideopenspace · 07/06/2015 16:20

OP, if you'd like to come and do my laundry, I wouldn't mind a bit! Grin

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seaweed123 · 07/06/2015 16:14

I always change the sheets on the day a guest arrives, so prefer to leave the sheets on the bed when they leave until the next guests are staying. (I have cats, so wouldn't want guests sleeping on sheets/pillows that the cats might have napped on) If they strip the bed that's fine, but it means I'll end up washing sheets on one has slept on, which seems wasteful.

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Gabilan · 07/06/2015 14:13

"Some of the comments on Facebook are just rude!!"

Time for a bit of pruning of your FB friends list ? Wink

I would be quite glad that you had washed the sheets on a good drying day. However, I'm quite happy for guests not to strip the bed. I tend to think it's all part of them being guests. Also, I know what programme I want sheets washed on and I like the machine to be full. It's a preference though, I certainly don't think it's rude to use the washing machine when you've been house sitting!

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