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AIBU?

To have threatened to pop his balls

52 replies

SupercalifragilisticexpialAtro · 10/05/2015 15:18

The little boy next door (he's about 10) keeps lobbing balls into our garden.

Our garden is about 4m by 5m so when we are out there a heavy leather football lobbing in unexpectedly is quite intrusive. I've got a toddler and will have a new baby next month too. I don't want them getting hit. The fence is about 8/9 ft so they're coming from a fair height. To be honest he must be lobbing them pretty hard to get a, say, 10 foot trajectory in such a small garden.

Last year we were quite tolerant and just threw them back with a smile, his garden is a similar size so I get that it's a bit crap for him too. I tried to be patient. But it just went on and on, he never seems to learn to be careful, and it's always our garden, despite there being two others bordering his garden, suggesting he aims them over here because we are often home and have generally been quite agreeable. I started gently last year and this year asking him to be careful and try not to do it.

So anyway I've got fed up, so I just decided to ignore them this time. In two days we've collected six balls. He just came round to knock for them back and I told him to be more careful because of the toddler and soon to be new baby and said the odd one was understandable and we'd chuck it back, but if we collected six in two days again I'd put them in the bin. As an afterthought I said I'd pop them too.

DH says that was a bit harsh. I'm in a massive pregnancy grump today so I'm finding it hard to look at it objectively.

AIBU?

OP posts:

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Jollyphonics · 10/05/2015 21:42

OP I sympathise, it's very annoying. I remember when I had a toddler and a baby, and the kid next door kicked his ball over the fence constantly. I just gritted my teeth and threw it back. Over and over again. I was new to the area and didn't want to make a fuss.

Fast forward 7 years and now the kid next door is a teenager who doesn't play in the garden any more. My kids, however, are out there all the time, regularly kicking their ball over the fence despite me telling them repeatedly to be careful. My neighbours return in with no complaints. I'm so glad I never made a fuss all those years ago!

Sparklingbrook · 10/05/2015 19:20

Go round and have a word then, it's the only way to sort it out. Explain ti them how you feel.

SupercalifragilisticexpialAtro · 10/05/2015 19:18

Ok some posters have fixated on the "heavy leather" aspect, maybe I got it wrong I didn't inspect them, but several of them looked leather to me and they are certainly heavy, stitched things, and some are those thick plastic/rubber dimply ones a bit like basketballs as opposed to little light plastic ones which wouldn't bother me as much.

Bitoutofpractice - the baby MIGHT be lying on a blanket in the middle of the lawn with me close by - why wouldn't it?? And if a ball comes lobbing over the fence I might not be able to deflect it in time if my hands are full or I'm holding the toddler, or I've got my back to the fence and just don't notice. It might knock over a hot cup of tea, or do damage in some other way.

Posters telling me not to get so stressed, I think I've actually been pretty patient and just got a bit exasperated today and muttered something a bit childish as an afterthought. I am heavily pregnant and pissed off. I have already conceded it was unreasonable to threaten, although it was always an empty threat anyway!

OP posts:

WellIShouldNever · 10/05/2015 18:48

If a neighbour threatned to destroy something which I had bought for my child I would not be happy. Leather footballs are expensive.
You are being 100 unreasonable.
If it bothers you that much, put up some trellace fencing or something. Better than being mean to a child.

motherinferior · 10/05/2015 18:48

Another who expected a rather different thread. You could probably get a quite niche but lucrative sideline in threats and possibly actions along those lines, mind.

Justusemyname · 10/05/2015 18:47

God I must learn to read the whole thread before posting.

Seems this boy is looking for some kindness.

Sparklingbrook · 10/05/2015 18:46

I do think parent to parent is the way to go, whatever they are like.

Justusemyname · 10/05/2015 18:43

I'm slightly disappointed you're not talking about a partner!

Popping and binning the child's footballs is bang out of order and you need to forget that idea. It's a nuisance but seriously it isn't worth this angst. I know you're worried the children will get hit and because of that the right thing is to talk to the parents. Explain your concerns about the children getting hit. Hopefully they'll have a word.

Sparklingbrook · 10/05/2015 18:41

Maybe that's why they don't have heavy leather footballs in matches any more?

SoldierBear · 10/05/2015 18:34

A heavy leather football can do serious damage.
Footballers who repeatedly headed those are now showing sign ps of brain injuries, so they could definitely do terrible damage to a small child. Not suitable for use in a small garden
And at 10 he's more than old enough to understand that he can't continue with whatever he is doing to keep sending the balls over a high fence.
Whether or not his parents are nasty or nice is no reason to leave a situation where your children would not be safe in their own garden.
I'm chilled about balls coming into my garden, but these are light plastic ones. After all, they should be able to play in their own gardens. The children know I don't mond them coming round without knocking as long as they shut the gate properly.

Sparklingbrook · 10/05/2015 18:31

Revenge.

Willdoitinaminute · 10/05/2015 18:28

Football karma is great. Our neighbour had two teenage boys when we first moved in. They were a nightmare. Although I don't actively encourage DS to kick/throw balls into her garden I think back to when we had motorbikes and hordes of gobby teenagers hanging around all night and smile to myself when he goes round to tap on her door. She has never moaned since he is so polite.
You will have your revenge in a few years.

ElizabetaTorres · 10/05/2015 18:27

That's why I'm happy to leave my car by the side of the road, next to a playground, where I expect there to be lots of kids playing with footballs, whereas I'd be less keen to plonk a newborn there

Sparklingbrook · 10/05/2015 18:22

Cars cannot be compared to babies.

FeralBeryl · 10/05/2015 18:20

Err, they'll be heavy enough when they land on the new baby who may be out napping in the pram
Agree that it sounds like he quite enjoys your chats - I'd buy him a few foam balls and rope him in to folding muslins and baby clothes. I'd also conspiratorially point out that you trust him to be sensible so you don't need to involve the horrid grown ups

BitOutOfPractice · 10/05/2015 18:20

Well I'm assuming the baby won't be left lying in the middle of the lawn...

ElizabetaTorres · 10/05/2015 18:16

Footballs might not be as heavy as they used to be but they can still do damage - my car was hit by a football kicked out of a local playground and was left with a football-width patch of scratches in the paintwork. I wouldn't like to see what would've happened to a baby.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 10/05/2015 18:10

I think it would be rotten to pop them but I see you won't but it is def not unreasonable to say that they need to be more careful and to say they will be returned at set times.

flamingtoaster · 10/05/2015 18:07

When my DC were small we had footballs coming over the wall from children playing in the street on the other side of the wall. We were getting three or four a day sometimes - with immediate knocking of the door (which often woke DD who was a few weeks old at the time). I explained that footballs would only be put out on our doorstep at 8.00 am and 6.00 pm and that if they wanted footballs at any other time they should ask one of their parents to come and collect it. We had a lot less footballs once the children got used to the arrangement and we didn't have any parents turning up asking for the footballs.

Sparklingbrook · 10/05/2015 17:52

My two had foam footballs for in the garden, really light and no harm done if they landed anywhere. I am not sure what a heavy leather one is. Even the ones they play matches with arent heavy.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 10/05/2015 17:47

I had the same thing when pg with ds1. The boy next door was eight.

I fetched them back for him without complaint and the summer after it stopped altogether as he was old enough to go to the park.

He is a teenager now and always lovely to my kids, as are his parents, so it may not be a problem for you for long.

Skiptonlass · 10/05/2015 17:47

Is he trying to get your attention? Shouty sweaty parents don't sound very pleasant.

Personally I'd return the ball, remind him that you will soon have a new baby and that a flying ball could really hurt them. Then I'd ask him if he was ok and quietly say that if he ever needs to talk to you, he just has to ask.

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SupercalifragilisticexpialAtro · 10/05/2015 17:40

Grannytomine

Good to know but I was never really going to pop them. I'm not an ogre...!

OP posts:

BitOutOfPractice · 10/05/2015 17:39

I doubt they are "heavy leather" balls. They stopped using those in about 1965

I think you might need to relax a bit though I do get it's annoying

grannytomine · 10/05/2015 17:35

When my sons were younger a policeman told me that if a neighbour damaged a ball that landed in their garden it was criminal damage. If they moved it it was theft. Don't know if that has changed but might be worth knowing.

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