To be struggling to work out my best contraceptive option?

[squeakpiggysqueak]

Am finding this quite hard. Name changed as obviously it's a bit personal.

I know the normal port of call is a family planning clinic but there are none local to me. My GP surgery is pretty shit, and are only interested in promoting depo and mirena.

I've had depo, it's had a terrible effect on me - constant bleeding, not just spotting, headaches, weight gain and mood swings. I'm 42, I'd never taken hormonal contraception before and wish I'd never bothered, it very clearly doesn't agree with me.

After nearly a year on depo I've given up. Latest injection was due last week, I didn't have it.

So where does that leave me and my partner? I'm not prepared to take the chance of any form of hormonal contraception again. It clearly doesn't suit me. I know if I try the pill, or mirena, it'll be the same and my GP will keep saying blithely oh it gets better after 3/6/9/12 months. But it doesn't!

It's a relatively new relationship of just over 12 months. My partner isn't keen to have a vasectomy as he is only mid 30s (we don't want any more children, but if we split up, or I died -hopefully not! - in the next 10-15 years he might have children with a new partner). A vasectomy seems pretty final to both of us and I understand his reluctance.

So to my mind that leaves us with condoms. Not an issue for either of us except in that they do stop the flow slightly. I've also had condoms break in the past (once with my current partner) so that's a bit of a worry.

Are there any other options I'm missing? My cycle has been all over place for last few years (no period for 3 months, then one that lasted for 3 months, then every 6 weeks, every 2 weeks and then totally random) and all this even before the current constant bleeding, so we couldn't just simply avoid when I'm ovulating or whatever.

[Eastwickwitch]

New IUCD called Jaydess, like a Mirena but much lower dose. Lasts for 3 years. ?

[microferret]

Copper coil. I had mine in for 4 years with no issues except worse-than-usual cramps during ovulation and menstruation. In the fourth year I developed permanent cramping and had to have it removed, but before that it worked like a charm!

However, regarding the Mirena, the hormones in it are only a tiny amount and stay localised in your uterus (ie don't circulate in your bloodstream) from what I understand. I've suffered crippling depression on the pill so I'm also wary of hormonal contraception but I think the Mirena works in a very different way to the pill and isn't likely to cause you depression or mood swings. My friend has it and it's made her periods extremely light to the point where they pretty much don't happen at all.

[JennieR60]

Copper coil is a fab. This is my second. Had the first removed to try for my last child. If your partner can feel the strings which is rare they can trim them slightly.

They can give u a 10 year one. I think I'm going for that next time. X

[Mammanat222]

I have just had a baby and will soon be needing to consider my options. Got very excited when I read about essure but I need to do a load more research.

I will not do anything hormonal. I did consider the copper coil but have read too many negative things so that leaves condoms which we don't like all that much. I've also had an unplanned pregnancy with condoms before and 11 day old dd is the result of sex once that cycle OH gets me pregnant extremely easily. We have 2 kids but I've been pregnant 6 times. Sadly we suffered 4 recurrent miscarriages before having our children.

[Pipbin]

Would having my tubes clamped affect me hormonally at all (please forgive my ignorance!)

My tubes are completely blocked naturally, I have no idea how long for, I only found out about 2 years ago.
I ovulate, have periods, etc with no noticeable side effects other than infertility!

[Runningupthathill82]

Just to say that the "cock-stabbing" experience with the coil is not rare - I had it and several friends have had problems too.
Not sure what the answer is, OP, but watching with interest.

[gallicgirl]

Make sure you research Essure. I've seen some negative reports that would make me pause and ask GP for more info.

[squeakpiggysqueak]

Coil is a definite no no given what happened to my partner.

Essure sterilization sounds perfect, will speak to my GP .. I suspect knowing my useless surgery I'll have a battle to get referred for it and wait forever for an appt. Maybe I could ask for the cap/ diaphragm in the meantime?

[ourglass]

Ps I've always had a copper coil, and never had an side effects.

[ourglass]

That experience with the coil is rare. I would give it a go - never had problems with mine and I've had them on and off for years.

[a2011x]

Copper coil, diaphragm , condoms.

I would recommend diaphragm to you because copper coil can make already irregular / heavy periods worse

Good luck

[LastOneDancing]

I used the neuvaring. It is hormonal but it's very low dose as it sits right next to where it needs to work. Info here

Easy to put in/ remove once a month. Can't forget to take it and if it doesn't suit, whip it out. My periods went back to normal within a month of stopping to TTC. Love it.

But be prepared for your Gp never to have heard of it and the pharmacy has to order it in oh and you have to keep your spares in the fridge.

[ReallyBadParty]

I've had essure and it's been brilliant: quick, painless. No op, no babies, no condoms.

[HappySeven]

I would agree with talking to your GP about the coil. Mine left my strings longer as she'd had patients say their partners complained about being 'stabbed'. Mine's been fine for 5 years and my periods are still v light. Not guaranteed for everyone but might be ok for you.

[Whitewhine]

Essure sterilisation - no surgery required, done in the out-patient department and doesn't interfere with hormones. I had it done last year and don't regret it one bit!

[SophieBarringtonWard]

Copper coil.

[dementedpixie]

have you tried any of the pills as one of them could suit - you have a choice of combined (take for 21 days, off for 7 days) or the mini pill (take every day with no break)

[LokiBear]

The implant is the only form of contraceptive that I've had zero issues with. I've tried them all.

[squeakpiggysqueak]

My partner had the problem with the coil from when his Ex had it put in, she went back to her GP, they said it was in the right place, but when they tried to have sex again, same thing happened. So she had it removed.

Maybe sterilization is the best option? I do know though that lots of my female relatives start menopause in their early/mid 40s...is there any way I could get my GP to check if I'm even still fertile (and save myself an op!) or is that not likely to be 100% reliable?

[dementedpixie]

I didn't get on ok with depo but was fine with cerazette mini pill. I am also ok with the mirena coil. If the strings are too long and can be felt during sex then they can be shortened. Mine have disappeared through the cervix so can't be felt but it will make removal a bit awkward!

[gallicgirl]

If you definitely don't want more children then consider sterilisation. It has no hormonal effects as ovaries remain.

[Amethyst24]

I'd revisit the copper coil if I were you. The poking thing, whilst ouchy and grim, is v v v unusual - I've had a couple of coils dislodge but I've definitely known when it's happened. If you were concerned you could just check more frequently.

[squeakpiggysqueak]

My partner has had a really bad experience with his ex and the coil (he was 'poked' by the end during sex...ouch!) so would prefer me to avoid that if possible.

Would having my tubes clamped affect me hormonally at all (please forgive my ignorance!)

[lanbro]

Sterilisation for you? Diaphragm?

I've just had the implant removed as it really affected my mental wellbeing but my dh is almost 44, our family is definitely complete so he is going down the snip route.

[squeakpiggysqueak]

No, I already have children, no plans for more at my age!