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AIBU?

To pick up on another cafe third world issue?

72 replies

Vycount · 09/01/2015 20:47

One person goes and sits down while the other orders the food etc and then brings it over to them?
I can see both sides of that one. However, one thing my Mum and I really enjoy is going out shopping together. When we stop for a break I do leave her sat at a table surrounded by bags while I go and get the necessary. This is for two reasons, firstly, we've got bags of shopping and it's maybe not the best plan for us both to be in the queue when we don't need to be carting that lot around. But the main reason is that my Mum needs to sit down quite regularly, and can be a bit unreliable carrying a tray.
So I'm on the fence with this one.

OP posts:

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TartinaTiara · 10/01/2015 10:15

Saving a table - fine. Saving a table which has more chairs than your party when there are no other free tables - expect to share and do so with good grace. If you start having a passive aggressive conversation to try to drive away the "sharer", remember that if someone is confident enough to sit at a table which is obviously occupied, they're more than capable of joining in and winning.

Just be nice to each other, FFS!

Southeastdweller · 10/01/2015 09:47

Not a problem for me - it's just normal behaviour and completely fair to save a table. What's the point in everyone queuing if you don't have to? I've done it myself and see it regularly when I go to cafés alone so if it means I have to stand around for five minutes after I've ordered and paid then I have to suck it up and wait. Table-hogging annoys me hugely but saving a table is very different.

I do wish there were even more cafés in the U.K - there just never seems enough space in the existing ones at the busy times, in London and most other cities I travel to.

Vycount · 10/01/2015 09:40

To be honest I'm fine with it, it makes sense to me to only send one person up to order. When my Dad was still alive we'd sit down while I helped him to decide what to order, he had trouble with that although externally he looked pretty fit and well. When I'm out on my own, as others have said, I avoid the really busy places or go somewhere with table service, which is often cheaper than somewhere like Costa and just as nice.

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 10/01/2015 09:39

Katese, there are tons of cafés in our town, all nice and all busy!

whereisthewitch · 10/01/2015 09:35

The only time I do this is if the baby needs fed and I'm not ashamed to say it really grates on me especially when it's impossible to get a table. Even when I do it (because baby is going mad and who wants to listen to a screaming baby in the coffee queue) I feel guilty about doing it.
But yes clearly in the minority for this maybe I should just do it all the time if most people don't actually care.

katese11 · 10/01/2015 09:33

There are some answers I don't understand on this thread....Why do you all go to "very busy" cafes all the time? Are there a lack of cafes around? If I'm with the dc I tend to go to the slightly crappier cafes so there's space for them. The coffee isn't as good as in the trendy cafes but at least we don't have to fight for a table...

KatoPotato · 10/01/2015 09:32

Busy cafe counters simply cannot cope with queues of non ordering loiterers? I've worked in Starbucks and it's bad enough trying to peer over the stacked cups and boxes of shortbread, taking orders down the line and keep order without having to deal with a family of four 'oh we're together!'

Same with Mcdonalds more often than not I have to step aside and wait for special orders (cheers DH) and when it's really busy it's just plain inconsiderate to have even more non-functioning orderers just milling about?

Vycount · 10/01/2015 09:25

I also think it's fine to save a table - that's the thing. Only on Mumsnet have I seen that being a problem for a lot of people.

OP posts:

Vycount · 10/01/2015 09:24

I think you're in the right as well Hazeyjane, for what it's worth. There's a thing on IABU threads where some people think it isn't enough to have an opinion, they also have to be a bit rude expressing it. Just remember that it's only a forum. :-)
I've decided that my cafe will have little Reserved thingies that people can pick up when they go in and put on a table, along with their aged parent if they so wish. But I can already see pitfalls... I might not even have wifi, so that the pains in the arses who need to rent an office don't come. It may help whole families to "re-connect".

OP posts:

hazeyjane · 10/01/2015 09:23

Sorry that was supposed to say people being arsey about this!

hazeyjane · 10/01/2015 09:22

Well, I have just explained, milky, but I will try saving it with my coat if there are only a few tables free next time. Strangely I have seen people being asset about this as well, which is why I haven't done it, but maybe if I explain about ds people might be understanding (waves to flying pig!)

milkysmum · 10/01/2015 09:19

I have no issue with people saving tables. Why would you not? Why would you risk having to walk around with a tray full of food and not be able to find a table to sit at?

Sirzy · 10/01/2015 09:16

I don't think your bring entitled Hazey. I can see why it frustrates you.

Have you tried putting coats on the empty table and asking the people on the next one to watch it for you - I know I would happily do that for someone and have done in the past

hazeyjane · 10/01/2015 09:14

but clearly I am an entitled blee blah according to mumsnet wisdom!

hazeyjane · 10/01/2015 09:13

ok, I have admitted I am in the minority, and remained good humoured about it! But going on as if I am 'sad' and saying 'tough luck' seems a little harsh, when I have said that the reason I can't leave ds, and struggle to share a table is because ds is disabled, in a sn buggy and struggles with other people - he is 4 and a half, this isn't going to change anytime soon, and I am specifically talking about people who take the last table when they can see there is not going to be anywhere else for us to sit.

OriginalGreenGiant · 10/01/2015 08:50

But what if it means the person who has been queueing (how many eu's?) can't sit down because you've just cme in and taken the last table?

Tough luck.

If we go somewhere like a cafe or McDonalds...if dh is with us then he'll queue and I'll save a table.

You'd hate me - Now the dc are 6 and 4, if it's close enough and I can still see them then I'll plonk them on a free table and queue on my own.

I've also been in the position where I was queuing alone with baby/toddler and couldn't do it. One of the hazards of parenthood I'm afraid.

Oh oh and...we went to a farm last year that had pony rides with a silly queue. I queued whilst dh took the dc to see something else. To be fair , when a couple of people joined behind me I let them know that there were 2 dc with me as it added an extra 10 minutes onto the wait for them. They gave me side eyes and edged away like I was a lunatic for telling them.

BatonRouge · 10/01/2015 07:52

The expression 'first world problems' is false and condesending. All the silly stuff of life doesnt disappear if you live in a poorer country.

helenenemo · 10/01/2015 07:47

doesn't bother me. Everyone does it.

Table sharers are irritating though. It's ok if they sit in compete silence but otherwise get off my table! I tend to have a really disgusting conversation until they bugger of

helenenemo · 10/01/2015 07:45

Doesn't bother me. Everyone does it.

Table sharers are irritating though. It's ok if they sit in complete silence but otherwise get off my table! I tend to just have a really disgusting conversation until they bugger off

QueenOfBrian · 10/01/2015 07:35

When I go in a busy cafe. I announce on a mega phone that I will be queuing up, and that if anyone is table bagging they'd better move. As after I get my coffee, if their arn't any seats left, then I'm going to be pretty pissed off. Then I point to the flame thrower on my back so people know I mean business.
Works for me every time. Gets rid of those bloody entitled table thieves.

hazeyjane · 10/01/2015 07:20

Well I accept I am in the minority here!

I can't leave ds alone, he doesn't do sharing tables well or waiting as he is disabled and in a sn buggy, so maybe that is why I feel annoyed when someone sits down in the last seat in the cafe having just walked in, when we have just paid for our stuff and are about to head to the table.

Anyway I defer to everyone else and accept that I am just odd!

RedButtonhole · 10/01/2015 07:07

I cannot believe people are actually sad enough to notice this happening. You go to a cafe, you order your food, you find a seat. If there isn't a seat, you wait on one. I can't imagine standing in a cafe and bothering to mentally note who comes in and sits where and who immediately joins the queue. It makes no sense to me to traipse an entire party of five into a queue when only one person needs to order and pay.

And yes, I am single and often eat out with DS who is too young to be left at a table alone, so it has happened to me.

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tanukiton · 10/01/2015 07:01

OHH I think we should all have a special bag with
I baggies this table written on it one side(for your local cafe) and
I regret to inform you this table is reserved (for your more up market cafe)

Minesril · 10/01/2015 06:53

I don't notice this happening..mostly because I do it too...even when I'm on my own it wouldn't bother me.

What does make me annoyed is people who have clearly finished but continue to sit at their table for ages, regardless of how busy it is. Go find a park bench!!

MrsMaker83 · 10/01/2015 06:00

What annoys me is the people who think they have the right to share a table because they cant find their own!
I was in a food court type place recently and my dp went to order food, i would usually queue too as we get food from different places but my baby needed feeding. I used their bottle warmer and then found a tiny table with 2 chairs. A few minutes later a women barged through and dumped her tray on the table and announced we would be sharing because there were no more tables erm sorry no we wont said my dp who appeared with our food seconds later

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