Most of you probably think IABU but here goes anyway...
My sister is 16 years old, she has lived with us in a kinship care arrangement since June 2013.
She moved in after making allegations about sexual abuse from her father.
We have recently had an her admit that this was untrue (luckily police found no evidence and no charges were made, never taken to court).
Over the last 3 days we have found out that she has also lied about various other things:
She claimed her mum was dying - mum is perfectly well
She stole prescription pills from a friend and took them to her work training placement as an excuse for always being late/absent (saying they make her drowsy) - (we know she hasn't taken any of the pills which is a relief)
She told us she had been given time off work to go on holiday - she hadn't
She told us she has been to CAMHS and has been told by the psychologist there that she has a cognitive processing disorder which causes her to confuse fantasy and reality. I confirmed with CAMHS this morning that she had never even been and that none of this is true.
Before all of these there have also been lies about various medical conditions, pregnancies, miscarriages the list goes on.
On paper she is the perfect teen, she has a work placement, earns her own money, she has good friends, comes home on time, eats well, does various activities, very rarely has a drink (only at celebrations, and even then does not get drunk) she is not involved with drugs, and doesn't have a boyfriend.
But these lies are destroying us.
My OHs sister was horribly abused by her step dad, my sisters lies have brought all of this back up for them. I suffered several miscarriages while TTC, my sisters announcement of miscarriage came after I lost a baby at the start of the 2nd trimester.
My own oldest is 6 and has aspergers, he takes all of his social cues from the things around him. My sister causes scenes by shouting/arguing about said lies, my son thinks this is how people are supposed to behave.
I have done all I can to help her. I have had the arguments, I have had the long heart-felt conversations, I have explained the consequences of her actions, she does not care, she shows no remorse.
She has refused help from CAMHS, and has been discharged by them.
I cannot do any more for her.
We are in Scotland and she is old enough to take on her own tenancy here, I do not believe that she is ready to do so, but she has connections to a whole team of social workers who can assist her.
She is affecting my whole family, and has caused me more stress and grief than I can begin to explain.
AIBU to tell her it's time to go?
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AIBU?
To tell my sister it's time for her to leave?
8 replies
BonesyBones · 03/11/2014 18:18
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