Are DH and I being unreasonable to holiday separately and without DS?

[BauerTime]

Dh and I have just sorted out next years holidays. Week away type affair. The difference between this and most families idea of sorting out their holidays is that DH and I are going on 2 different holidays. We are going at different times so that one of us will still be home with DS while the other is away. We do also plan to arrange probably a few days break with DS, or a staycation type break where we just have days out but stay at home.

Many people apparently think this is weird for a variety of reasons. Firstly that im 'allowing' DH to go on a lads holiday (stag do) with his best friend of 20-odd years and he is friends best man. Secondly that im a mother and will be leaving my then 19 month old at home for a week WITH HIS FATHER, thirdly that ill be away on my birthday and that's not fair on DH or DS, fourthly (is that a word?) that its strange that we don't want to holiday together (im going skiing, DH doesn't ski, and its unlikely that ill be invited on the stag do), and finally that poor old DS 'wont get a proper holiday'.

Now ok DS wont get a 'proper' holiday but he isn't even 2 years old! a trip to the local farm is amazing to him and we do still plan to do something with him so he wont totally get left out. I honestly don't see why we shouldn't have separate holidays doing what we want individually rather than a compromise holiday for both/all of us. Is it really that weird that we want to stay individuals as well as be part of a family?

[Custardo]

Sounds like the future to me. Fantastic.

[Bulbasaur]

They're jealous.

I'm jealous.

I want a week vacation by myself doing whatever I want.

Honestly, a baby won't gain anything from a holiday. DD (7.5 months) is just tickled pink to go to the grocery store where she sees new people, new things, and hears new sounds.

[LardyDa]

Oops wrong thread

[LardyDa]

According to the FURTHER MATHS ORG 38% of AS further maths candidates are girls. It's still boy heavy but it's better than it used to be.

[BauerTime]

Yes skylark that's why we are also doing another break with DS. It may be a holiday at home with days out instead of actually going away somewhere, but he will get his new experiences.

We took him to Butlins earlier this year and whilst it was lovely, it was hard work and the evenings were so boring for DH and I as we were stuck in the apartment from about 8pm once DS was in bed. We can get the same amount of lovely days just having days out but if we come home in the evenings we can do our own thing in the comfort of our own home.

[starlight1234]

I took my 2 year on holiday ..It was awful .
The next year we just did day trips it worked much better. WE did a holiday again when he was 4 which was much better

[skylark2]

I don't think it's odd now - he's too little to care.

It would be a bit odd if you did it again next year, and will rapidly become unreasonable as your child gets older. Children deserve breaks and new experiences too.

[Purplepoodle]

Initially your title makes it weird as though your choosing to go on two separate beach holidays but it's perfectly reasonable that dh goes in his stag holiday and you get some time away too esp if it's doing something dh wouldn't enjoy. It's practical and both of you get a break. There's so many people whinge about their partners going away and they don't get a break so this sounds perfect to me (plus who's ds would t love a bit of daddy time)

[BauerTime]

Sorry basketz

I did actually cringe as I wrote that!

[Inboxer]

As someone who is made to go on holiday with dh, dd, fil, mil, sil and her entourage every year - ENJOY IT!!! Sounds a great idea!

[BasketzatDawn]

Not U - as long as you NEVER use the word staycation ever again. Seriously though, we've done holidays like that. Yes, other folk think it's weird. Know what, I don't care. it works for us.

[KERALA1]

Shame for an older child but ime little ones happier at home. We had a disastrous package hol when dd1 20 months. Was the worst holiday we ever had went to Turkey and by the end dd listless, not eating and had diahorrea. When we got home we saw her come back to life she was so happy to be home and all the worrying ailments disappeared.

[LilMissSunshine9]

YANBU and stuff what other people say as well. I do find it strange why people comment more about a mother being away from her child when the father is looking after it. It's comes across like a father isn't capable enough to look after his own child for more than a day.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

If your son was older I might think it a bit off. But he's two. I think it's fine.

[doobledootch]

YABU but only because I'm really jealous, which will be the reason why RL people think YABU too probably

[Iggly]

I find it odd but only because,even though when they're really going, the holiday means little to them, they do really enjoy the new experiences etc. My 2 year old talks about our summer holiday still!

But yanbu, if it works for you!

[BarbarianMum]

^^This. If he was 6 I'd think you were being a bit mean but at 19 months??? We took a family holiday to France when ds2 was 17mo old. He was OK but the look of sheer delight and relief on his face when we pulled back into our drive at the end of it! Didn't occur to me til then that the poor kid had no idea what a 'holiday' was or that he'd ever see his home and things again. He was soooo happy to be back.

[whois]

and buy a nice inflatable

Are you my mum?? I got an AMAZING dragon rubber ring when I was about 3 when we went to Portugal. It was the best thing ever. I didn't take it off in or out of the pool all day...

[whois]

Your DS is 2, so you are totally not being U.

Of e was probably 4 or 5 plus when he could genuinely enjoy a holiday then is think you were being a bit mean not to have one with him.

[2rebecca]

I think under 2s are generally happier at home and in their routine than on holiday when they just pick up bugs and fuss. My son hated sand as a young child, and heat and chlorine flared up his eczema. My daughter ended up going on hols as a baby but that was because she's the youngest and got dragged along.
The following year I'd take him somewhere like a cottage or seaside apartment with pool and buy a nice inflatable but this year your plan sounds fine

[bonkersLFDT20]

My DH does way more childcare of our younger son than I do. He works more p/t than me in a job will allowed him the whole summer off.

So, he and the two boys went to France while I stayed at home working. It was BLISS I tell you. I love my job and in the evenings I could do as I wished. It was my little break from everything. I caught up with friends, could do my running and boot camp w/o clock watching, the house was as I like it. It's not for everyone, but it works for us.

[Greengrow]

No problem at all. My children's father (teacher) always had a lot more holidays. He used to take the children camping each summer for example (he got the girls through grade 5 music theory by doing some every day on the camping trip), he took to Disney Paris (you'd have to pay me to endure such an awful place) and when our oldest won herself a cruise down the Nile he took her (which I will always remember as the two youngest ones had chickenpox and I was working full time so it was a very very hard time at home whilst the other two were living it up on their cruise). We once left the oldest 2 with their nanny and their grandparents when they were 1 and 3 and I was pregnant with number 3, for a week without them. They were okay but we did n't want to do it again with such little ones. It didn't feel quite right

[cherrybombxo]

I think it sounds amazing! You both get to do your own thing and your DS is staying with someone he loves. Brilliant.

[Mammanat222]

We've had a few separate holidays over the years for various reasons.

Never seen a problem with it personally.

Only been away once since DS arrived and that was all of us, but OH will be going on a stag do next year so I'll be at home with a toddler and a baby. It's only for a weekend though.