DP plays hockey. Pre season training has started on Saturdays. When the season gets going at least 3 out of 4 Saturdays will be match day. Home games mean she's out of the house 2 and a half hours, away matches between 3 and 6 hours depending on travel. Training runs one evening a week, about 2 hours a pop.
So I'm left with 2 children (3 and 4 months) while she goes off on a social every weekend. However she says that hockey is not at all like socialising with friends and will not accept that this is comparable to a very busy social life. I used to play a decent bit of volleyball and despite the fact it was sometimes hard work, training and matches were always good craic.
So, the question is- how do you classify playing sport. Social life or other category?
AIBU?
Or is sport considered part of your social life?
dogscatsandbabies · 24/08/2014 18:59
On the weekend she doesn't do hockey, why not book yourself a spa weekend? 
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I think it's a very difficult one. Because you can't say "play hockey matches one evening instead" or "could you just go for an hour" or probably even "could you just play every other match, or "don't go to training" because there aren't hockey matches in the evening, you can't just go for one hour, playing every other match may lose the place in the team (and if it doesn't she may feel she's letting the team down) and not going to training with almost certainly lose the place in the team.
In that way it isn't the same as going to the gym, or swimming or something you can choose how much and when.
I used to play tennis at an okay standard. I played 5-6 days a week typically. I've just taken it up after again 15 years. I'm aiming to get out to one of the club nights once a week. However part of me would like to go to every one (4 a week). I've also been asked to do matches. At present I go when I can to the club nights (which may be 3 one week, none the next) and am reserve for the matches as I've said I can't commit permanently.
But for tennis, I can go down, have one set taking about 45 minutes, and then say I have to get back and go home. I also can play occasional matches without committing every week. I hope to also arrange a couple of games during the week-you only need one other for tennis rather than however many is a hocket team (plus opponents)
It is enjoyment, and I know that. However at the same time I did have to say to dh after the first 6 weeks of being a member and he kept forgetting or not being able to get home in time for me to do club nights, that there was no point me joining and going once a month, it isn't worth it either for money or for my enjoyment as I have to spend the first hour getting used to which way up to hold the racket again.
Now to me, dh has done a lot of volunteering for committee type things (think school governors type things) while the children have been little. And those have had to take priority over things I wanted to do. I could guarantee any "mums' night out" would clash with a meeting he couldn't miss-or if it didn't, he'd have 6 meetings that month and couldn't spare the overtime to get out of work early. And dh knows that because of his commitments I have been home with 3 dc to get to bed on my own because of things he is doing. Now they aren't necessarily things he would choose to do with spare time, but he did choose to do them.
If he has a meeting then it will still generally take priority over tennis, but he has fewer in the evenings now, and I can go other nights.
So over time it probably will roughly even out in time I suppose.
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