To serve meat

[Mim78]

Occasional poster, long time frequent lurker.

At the moment I am on maternity leave with DS (nearly 6 months). DD (5) is on school summer hols so I have them both at home all day. This is great and I'm really enjoying the holidays before I go back to work in September.

DH is working long hours at the moment and so I am doing all the cooking in the week. On the weekend just passed he did all the cooking on Sunday; we were out on Saturday.

This evening I made penne with a bolognaise sauce I had made from the left overs of Sunday's dinner. Tasty and economical I thought.

DH asked me this evening "can we not have meat every day?". This was on health grounds as he does not think it is good for him to eat meat every day.

My initial response was "I am not a restaurant" and am not going to cook to order. TBH we don't have meat every day, but I was planning a meat based meal tomorrow (also incorporating some [different] left overs). I also said I am not having a meat based argument with him, but then we agreed to ask the MN jury to see who is BU.

He is probably right on health grounds, but AIBU to say I am cooking so I will choose what we will have? His response to that was, "fine I will cook something else for myself", which seems to me a waste of time.

Additional info that may be relevant:

1. I am weaning DS, who is just starting to move on to a wider variety of food, i.e. passed the one ingredient/food at a time phase. I am doing a mix of puree and finger food.
   

1. DH recently lost weight doing the 5/2 diet and exercise and is looking good on it!

[ThatBloodyWoman]

Missed it oybk.
Summary? (Pleez)

[Janethegirl]

Yes I watched Horizon, interesting, but my views are unchanged.

[Inertia]

I think my response would have been that you don't intendcto cook meat every day, but tomorrow you need to cook this meal to use leftovers.

He can feel free to meal plan and get the shopping in if he has alternative ideas. What would piss me off is the expectation that the cook will conjure up a series of dinners which appeal to everybody's whims.

[Janethegirl]

If I'm cooking I expect the rest to eat it. If i cbu I expect someone else to cook and I will eat it regardless. May whinge later tho!

[Mim78]

That sounds fair inertia.

Dd likes most things but esp fish/anything with pasta/ shepherd's pie.

She will eat veg things quite happily though - including veg soup dh made on weekend.


I also forgot to mention in my list of relevant factors I am still breast feeding. May not be relevant but certainly meant I didn't join him on 5:2 diet! Not that he wanted me to, but I might have been a bit sceptical about it working for him (which it did but I could never do it even if not bf! I am more of a little and often person.)

Also I am not really supposed to eat meat (I've just remembered!) because I have reflux.

So guess I am vu for that reason alone! Now I realise I sound daft as a brush and unfit to return to work in a few weeks!

[SarahAndFuck]

He hasn't made an unreasonable request but he might have picked a better moment to ask.

Using up leftovers makes good sense, as does some meat free meals.

Asking you for a meat free meal while still eating the meaty one you've just cooked was probably not the best time for the conversation. That would annoy anybody as it comes across as complaining about the food you have just prepared rather than a health choice for the future.

He's being a bit silly if he really means he will cook meat-free just for himself if you use up meaty leftovers again. If he's going to do that, he might as well cook for all of you and that solves your 'feeling like a restaurant' problem anyway.

That will also mean you have more meat-free leftovers to use up so when you cook, he will be happy.

So, problem solved. He cooks more often and makes veggie-style stuff for you all, you then use the veggie-style leftovers when it's your turn to make something and you need to use things up.

[Mrsbagface]

Oh dear Jane, I'm thankful that people like you are a dying breed! How awful to be so narrow minded and intractable that you cannot imagine feeding yourself without it involving a dead animal! Very sad.

[sashh]

My 2 peneth

Use the left overs but plan to have 1 or 2 meat free days in future.

[FunkyBoldRibena]

If I am ever unfortunate as to have to feed a vegetarian, he will be getting every dish but the meat ones and I'll tell him before he visits. I not changing my menus for vegetarians, they can eat the non meat dishes or starve

I doubt they will starve; as I suspect people they aren't exactly queuing up to visit you in the first place. what with that attitude

[tumbletumble]

I think one or two meat free days a week is healthy. I also think that the cook has the final say, but should try to incorporate the requests of the rest of the family.

I do understand that it can be difficult not to take a comment like this as criticism when you have worked hard to prepare a nice meal. I try hard not to though!

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

The horizon program concluded that a small amount of red meat twice a week was unlikely to do you harm, but greater quantities were associated with all sorts of health issues that can shorten your life. Sadly they didn't look at white meat such as chicken.

They are having a follow up episode (Thursday?) where I think they are looking at the environmental side of eating meat.

[ThatBloodyWoman]

Oh OYBK I shall look for it on catch up and watch the one on Thurs.
Like a pp I have delved into The China Study and drastically reduced my consumption of animal products as a result.

[Mim78]

Will try to watch that on catch up!

[MrsWinnibago]

Just because you're cooking does not give you the right to dictate his entire evening diet. That's like saying "I'm decorating so I choose all the colours" when you paint the house...but worse!

You can't say what he eats! He's right by the way..about the meat.

[RiverTam]

I thought they also said that it's processed meat (sausages, bacon, ham etc) that even in small quantities aren't great, is that right? (DH switched channels at that moment and I wasn't paying all that much attention anyway!). Ham is the only meat I eat with anything approaching regularity as I like a ham sandwich.

[RawCoconutMacaroon]

Jewels234 18/8 at 22.22

I will counter that suggestion by saying "read Death by Food Pyramid"

The trouble with vegetarians (!), is that they are by and large interested in their health - more so than the general population. That makes it difficult to look at factors other than the absence of meat in the diet being responsible for the supposed better health of veggies.

If a standard western diet is full of pesticide residue, rancid seed oils, hydrogenated fats and highly processed carbohydrates and lots of synthetic chemicals as well as meat (and the standard person is doing almost no excersise), clearly a more considered diet (most of the veggies I know eat as much organic as they can afford and are into natural/minimally processed food), and are a bit more active then of course they are going to be healthier than people who are eating utter crap (and sadly, utter crap is what a very large chunk of society eats every day). HOWEVER, that doesn't mean that it was the lack of meat that made the veggie diet healthy.

The China study is utter bollocks, when you actually read into the geographical and religious and social reasons why a lot of the data was misinterpreted, and the political reasons too...

My pet hate is people constantly lumping red-and-processed-meat together as one thing in studies. They are not the same.

The (not very great) horizon program last night did mention the red non meat eaters had a higher all cause mortality btw!

(Natural) red meat, other meats and animal fats are unfairly maligned IMO and there is plenty of emerging evidence to back that up. Eat Real Food should be the message...

Instead of Meat Free Mondays, maybe Sugar Free Sundays or Additive Free Wednesday or Unprocessed Fridays would be of more benefit .

[ChickenMe]

Agree with Raw Coconut. Meat in itself isn't wrong. In an ideal world the animals would be appropriately pastured, treated ethically, fed their natural diets and organically raised. Death by Food Pyramid is a great book as is The Vegetarian Myth (it's extreme though-an ex-friend of mine took massive exception to that book just by reading the cover)
The focus is wrong. Demonising ALL meat allows junk food to slip through the net. Why not focus on our over consumption of cereals? Excess food packaging? Misleading food labelling? Addiction to sugar and sweeteners?

[RawCoconutMacaroon]

Waves to Chicken , we may have killed the thread !

[DizzyKipper]

Meal planning should take into the account the needs and preferences of all individuals the meals are being cooked for - it's not a dictatorship so DH is perfectly reasonable to ask and if you refuse he's perfectly within his right to make his own meal too. It seems really unfair that not only won't you take into account his preferences for your meal planning but you also don't want to let him cook for himself either - maybe you consider it a waste, he evidently doesn't.

[r2d2ismyidealman]

I think the issue is whatever the subtext is. This is a moment for reading between the lines. His request is fine. Your response is fine. The issue is something else.

[funnyossity]

The Horizon programme showed evidence from different quarters on the likely bad effects of processed meats but it definitely didn't put me off red meat.

(In fact after what I'd heard the variety of experts say I wasn't that sure why the presenter continued to insist on low fat cuts.)

[HatieKokpins]

"can we not have meat every day" is incredibly bad grammar as it actually means the opposite of what he intended it to mean.

He's right to want a say - but leftovers so need using up first!

[itsbetterthanabox]

Suggest not eating meat at all. Healthier and you don't have to worry about your eternal soul

[MrsWinnibago]

"May we not have meat every day" means the opposite of what he meant. "Can we not have meat every day" means...oh...I don't actually KNOW what it means!