Is my partner wrong?

[SarahD111222]

Hi everyone in writing this as I don't know where to turn anymore. I have a 2 month old beautiful son with my partner of 8 years. We have a house together, he pays for most things as I am on maternity. Recently I've been feeling really low as I feel my partner is bullying me. As I am the one who is in the relationship I always question myself as to whether I'm just being silly, I thought some third party perspective may put things more clear for me to make a decision. Here's an example of my partners behaviour; he is really nice when he wants to be but gets angry at the slightest thing, like once I was wrapping cheese in foil to put in the fridge, I ripped the foil with my hands instead of using the cardboard provided and he started saying 'your a fucking idiot' and got really angry with me. He has never hit me but things like this happen on a daily basis and he makes me feel really stupid. He often punches walls and doors which doesn't hurt me physically but is really intimidating! Just yesterday we stopped to get a sandwich and I went into the shop. They didn't have what he wanted so I ordered him something else I thought he might like. No! He got angry with me and said asked in a horrible tone 'do you not know me at all?!' He ranted on for ages threw the sandwich and left me in my car in tears. He never said sorry or acknowledged that it was not nice what he did, instead just acted normal that night and was nice to me and kept saying 'are you ok?' I was scared to bring it up because I knew he would have just made out it was my fault. Is this wrong or am I just being stupid? I keep thinking I just can't live on my own with a small baby... Should I leave him? He's great with the baby. His dad treats his mum like this and she just takes it. She laughs it off as if it's normal. His behaviour has got worse recently, I think it's because he thinks I need him, considering he pays for the car and house. These are just examples of what he is like, I'm constantly getting shouted at, talked down to and ridiculed ?? makes me really upset and he never feels guilty at all, just acts like 'I I wasn't so stupid he wouldn't have to be like this'

[Thumbwitch]

Very pleased to read your update Sarah (well the latter parts of it at least!) and best of luck to you - make sure you keep your intentions completely secret from your partner though because the time that you try to leave is one of the most risky for you.
If you haven't already phoned Women's Aid, I strongly recommend you do so (as have other posters) because they will be able to help and advise you on the best way to get out safely.

[ChasedByBees]

Glad to hear you are leaving, this is domestic abuse. It can escalate when a woman is planning to leave so be careful and seek advice from WA or your HV.

[nomdemere]

I am glad you are going to leave. This sounds a horrible environment for you and for your DC - no child should grow up in this atmosphere.

Please don't leave it too long, I understand some preparation is needed, but get away as soon as you possibly can. Also, please document everything that happens. I think you may need evidence to prevent your partner having shared custody - he does not sound like someone who should be in charge of a child.

[FatherDickByrne]

I'm glad you are leaving & think he needs to go to Anger Management. I lived with someone who was rude & nasty to me. I stood up to him every time but it was exhausting - no life. Good luck & don't let the bastard grind you down.

[NickiFury]

What would he say if you said "who the f*ck do you think you're talking to?" Would you be scared to say that? What do you think he'd do?

[NickiFury]

Just read your update. Was it a violent crime he was in prison for? Please take care.