Advice needed re teenagers and smoking/weed.

[TrustInMyStomach]

Apparently all the friends are doing it. I guess it's commendable that the conversation is being had. The desire to try is big. And some sensible procedures are allegedly being put in place. I don't want to rant and rave and shout and say no and wreck any decent communication we have. I know alcohol/smoking/drugs are kind of inevitable. But it bothers me. Any advice?

[BabyMarmoset]

there not their ... oh the shame...

[HaroldsBishop]

www.drugscience.org.uk/

This a good source of independent information on drugs. I'll make this clear now - I am not saying that cannabis is harmless. Neither is riding a horse, or driving, or anything. However we can say it is less harmless than alcohol and tobacco. Obviously it's up to you as to where you draw the line in deciding what is too dangerous for you and your children.

//www.sg.unimaas.nl/_OLD/oudelezingen/dddsd.pdf

gordy - correlation does not imply causation.

[GobblersKnob]

My brother and I both smoked out when younger we both suffer from lasting mental heath problems which have had enormous impact on both our lives. I would give anything to go back in time to my first joint and say 'no', I cannot imagine what it would be like to have the last 20 years of my life back and live them without psychosis, paranoia and crippling anxiety.

I will do everything in my power to stop my kids smoking weed.

[dawndonnaagain]

The problem there is Gobbler they will, if you react harshly, do everything they can to smoke it.
The gateway drug is a red herring, it was posited when the dangerous drugs act was written, it was an American theory that has been proven time and again to be wrong. Weed, like alcohol is addictive only if the person is a person likely to become addicted. As with everything, it is fine for some, not all. Harold has it right. Just keep an eye, make sure they're not rolling out of bed and rolling a spliff. Smoking on occasion is far less harmful than binge drinking on occasion.

[BabyMarmoset]

Will second the view that, of my friendship group, it is the people that work in mental health that are most vehemently opposed to cannabis.

Obviously not everyone that smokes will develop MH issues. But both correlation (something like 20x more likely from memory) and reasons for causation are well scientifically documented and established.

[ikeaismylocal]

gobbler I'm sorry to hear you feel regret about smoking cannabis, the effect on mh is something that I do worry about when my children get to the age where they may wish to try it.

My parents both have mh issue which are bad enough to need medicating ( depression and schizophrenia) in a way it is a bloody miracle that me and my siblings thankfully have no mh problems, I do worry that if my dc choose to smoke cannabis it could trigger schizophrenia or depression despite ne having seemingly managed to dodge that bullet.

Thankfully I live in a country where drug use among teenagers is not as prevalent as in the UK. I'm not sure how honest I should be about mh issues and their possible genetic inheritance, I don't want to create a self fulfilling prophecy.

[gobbin]

I know alcohol/smoking/drugs are kind of inevitable

No, no they're not. My 17 year old DS is allowed a few beers at a party or a single pint with a meal out, because that is a social norm for our family. Smoking and drugs are not a social norm here, either for our family or for all of our friends/acquaintances except for a handful of men in the cricket club who smoke (around 8, of a membership of approx 120).

[AllHailTheBigPurpleOne]

I would point out the dangers and safeguarding.
I used to love a bit of pot if i had nothing to do.

Vaporisers are recommended, cannabis burns hot. I remember watching a documentary about cannabis. A consultant was describing the rise of copd in young people who smoked weed in spliffs with no tobacco.

I would also point out stoners get NOTHING done. Nothing.

its also currently illegal.

I don't believe it's a gateway drug. But if you buy it you are supporting crime. The same with any drug.

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

It's important to lay out the implications for your own kids honestly.

For mine it's their choice but they know they would be playing with fire as their paternal grandfather and one of his sons (DH s half brother) had their lives ruined by it and cannot now live independently. They both suffer from psychotic episodes that began when they started smoking weed. Both take lots of meds etc now. GF has always been at pains to warn our sons off it.

Also the older boys are studying for careers that will take them all over the world and have watched enough episodes of Nothing to Declare to know that getting caught would be a massive problem for them.

I'm quite sad about all this as I've always thought a quiet smoke might be preferable to getting pissed up but there we go. Whatever they decide, they are properly aware of the risks.

[Numanoid]

AllHail Someone very close to me, a self-proclaimed stoner, has 2 degrees, a very good job, and is by no means lazy. And by stoner here, I mean smoking at the very least, 3 joints per day.
In a lot of people, it helps them to get things done.

[Numanoid]

Apparently, 3 is way too small an estimate. more than that on a daily basis.

[specialsubject]

not inevitable, and he is a person, not a sheep, and so doesn't have to do what everyone else is doing.

if he does want to be a sheep, tell him not in your house, to be considerate about the stink (both for the normal cancer sticks and the brain burners) and make sure he is aware of all the risks.

ideally he should get a life and some real hobbies.

[Flipflops7]

I didn't do any but DH did and says what kids smoke now is much stronger than years ago.

[Claybury]

All you can do surely is educate your DC's. Where we live the teens are literally surrounded by drugs. They will make their own decisions. DS started smoking weed at 14 and nothing we can do or say will make any difference. He has been to a drug counsellor ( I made him) but it was pointless because he wants to smoke.
DD vows she would never touch anything. She has high self esteem and a lovely group of friends who are also happy to say no.
Personally I feel there is something in the gateway theory. I know DS has tried plenty of other drugs since starting to smoke. (Ketamine, MDMA ). He wouldn't have tried those had he not already been a smoker. The only positive is he does not like alcohol.

[TheLovelyBoots]

I guess it depends on whether you want to be your child's friend or mother.

[motherinferior]

Gobbin, I suspect you don't know absolutely everything your 17 year old gets up to.

I tend to think it's inevitable too. Like sex. Agree about the tobacco.

[Claybury]

My advice would be to a make it clear you do not wish your DC to smoke, and it is not permitted.
IME some parents have confused the fact that their teens will inevitably smoke with sending their DC 's the message that they are ok with it. You may be, deep down, ok with them trying it but you should not let your kids know this. Then what happens ( as in my case ) the kids get confused , as they think some parents are ok with it, and therefore some parents ( like me ) are strict and old fashioned.
Bit rambling, sorry, but especially younger teens need clear rules. Even if they choose to break them.

[heraldgerald]

I think the ethical element should be a point of discussion with your dc, op. Where does it come from, who is profiting? Iirc, weed houses effectively using trafficked children who are prisoners within the house to tend the plants have been on the rise.

Mh implications and dangers of buying from dealers notwithstanding, would your dc be ok with this?

[heraldgerald]

Btw weed houses in a number of suburban houses in the UK, sorry don't know how to link

[kali110]

I wish id never started smoking joints. i was always so happy and worry free. I started smoking at 16 and started suffering severe mental health problems at 17. A decade later I'm still suffering.

[McBear]

Slightly relevant.

I second absolutely everything Harold said

[Loveneverfails]

hate the stuff.

Brother got in to it in his teens.

Is still in to it in his 40s.

No LIFE in between.

Hate it.

[PleaseNoMoreMinecraft]

When I was in my teens and early 20s almost everyone smoked spliffs on the weekend (and sometimes during the week). It was a social thing, we'd pass a few round and talk about life and philosophy. And eat junk food.

Many years later, we all got our degrees, some went on to postgraduate education, we have demanding jobs and families (or not). Not one of us, to my knowledge, has had any kind of psychosis as a result (not saying it doesn't happen, just that it didn't happen to us - a fairly large sample size).

The worst thing to happen to me was that I developed a nasty tobacco habit which took me about 10 years to shift. I wouldn't exactly promote it to my kids, but it's not the worst thing that could happen imho.

I would concentrate on teaching moderation. With or without your consent it's going to happen, but if you want lines of communication to stay open I wouldn't be down on it too hard.

[Workhorse]

Round here most teenagers dabble with weed. I've always been open with my DCs about the psychological risks.

There is a strong genetic streak of depression/anxiety/psychotic episodes in our family from DF's side. I think the statistics are if there is a genetic predisposition, depression is around four times more likely to manifest itself, and around ten times more likely for psychosis with heavy cannabis use. I've discussed with the older DSs to try and keep it moderate (once or twice a month), even though some of their friends are stoners.

From my own experience, I had a couple of episodes of depression at university when I smoked a lot of weed. That stopped when I stopped. Alcohol and tobacco don't affect me. If there is no history of mental health problems in your family you're probably fine to toke away.

[pointythings]

The evidence about a link between cannabis as a trigger for psychosis in people who are genetically predisposed to psychotic illness is pretty well documented. The problem is, you don't know in advance that you might have that predisposition. If a close family member has had a psychotic illness that should make cannabis a big fat no for you, but that doesn't mean you are in the clear if your family has not got a history.

And today's cannabis is nothing like the stuff that was around 10 years ago, it is much, much stronger.

I'd give my DC the honest facts and not come down like a tonne of bricks because that would be counterproductive, but cannabis is not the 'safe' drug it might once have been.