AIBU to think that if your in your mid 40's you should be thinking about paying your mortgage off, not taking one out for the first time?

[NotSuchASmugMarriedNow]

My friend announced the other day that she is going to save like mad to get on the housing ladder. She is 45 years old. Surely in your mid-forties your thinking about paying off your mortgage, not taking one out for the first time?

AIBU? does anyone else think that boat has sailed?

She's only got a minimum wage job by the way, hasn't suddenly had a windfall or anything.

Am I nasty for thinking this? I haven't actually said anything to her, just thought it was strange and wanted to hear your views.

[Only1scoop]

Or maybe a bit jel that you never bought....

[todayisnottheday]

You sound very naive tbh. If your friend is in a minimum wage job how, exactly, do you think she would have been in a position to have got and nearly paid off a mortgage by now? If you were a true friend you'd be happy for her not judgemental of her.

It would be lovely if the world was such that people in the UK on minimum wage could have a house nearly paid off by their mid forties. Sadly that is so far from reality it's almost a laughable concept.

[Mordirig]

We have a 20yr mortgage and we are 29, we wanted to be mortgage free by 50 so we can save more for retirement and hopefully enjoy ourselves a bit when we are older.
We are not high earners but got a significant inheritance which we added to, without this it would have taken forever to save a deposit with the amount of rent we had to pay, so I think we would have been looking at mortgages in our 40s otherwise.

[Heathcliff27]

It really isn't any of your concern what age she takes out a mortgage. It's all relative, I am 41, DH is 38, we have 4 years left to pay on our mortgage, purely because when we bought our house we didn't have to come up with a horrendous deposit like you have to nowadays. If we had to save up a 10-20% deposit theres no way we could've bought when we did which also would've meant the price of the house would've increased too. It's a bit of a vicious circle. Right place at right time for us but unfortunately that isn't always the case.

[Heathcliff27]

And we only had a 15 year mortgage before anyone asks...

[HalfEatenPizza]

Who the fuck are you to judge? It is between your friend and the bank. A right 'friend' you are, haha! She is so lucky to have you for support... NOT.

[GatoradeMeBitch]

I'm nearly 40. I thought I had all the time in the world to get on the housing ladder, then all of a sudden the economy went to shit and prices got ridiculous. If I had stayed in my marriage I think we'd have a mortgage on a place by now, but in my case I would also have been choosing financial security over personal happiness! Now, I think that property, especially in my area is so unreasonably expensive that it makes as much sense to rent as to buy.

[MrsCaptainReynolds]

Mortgages are for as long or short as suits your circumstances (with your lenders agreement).

[Wantsunshine]

I am guessing the op does not live in London or in the South East. Very odd attitude.

[BeyoncesCat]

YABU and do sound nasty. What's wrong with her wanting to buy a house at 45? And as her friend you should be encouraging her!

[ChanelNo19]

I hope she achieves her goal of getting a mortgage on her own place.

[Neverending2012]

You sound horrible. You're not a good friend to her either..

[Mordirig]

TBH I think the OP sounds a bit naïve and a little jealous rather than nasty.

[botanicbaby]

Yes I think you are coming across as nasty for thinking like this. In fact, your OP is quite unpleasant.

Either that or you are jealous - or fail to comprehend the simple that life has no clear, set path that we must all follow without straying from it. Sometimes circumstances beyond our control affect where we end up - ill health, change of jobs, relationship breakdown, who knows where things lead or what is around the next corner. Tbh you don't sound like a very supportive friend.

Don't you know people of this age who have been on the property ladder since their twenties, who have overstretched themselves, moved into bigger places/nicer areas and who will STILL be taking years to pay it off?

Are you 'secretly' judging them as well

[ChelsyHandy]

Well, if she doesn't currently have a mortgage and can get one for around 20 -27 years duration, then why not? Its better surely than continuing to pay rent until retirement then hoping benefits will house her. I mean ideally you would buy younger but equally plenty of people in their forties upgrade and take out a new mortgage, often to full term, in their forties, having bought maybe a small flat when younger.

[Birdsgottafly]

I'm 46.

I lost my first house because of my DH's Cancer, we were mis-sold endowment insurance, which i can't have a claim against because of the time limits put on claims, so I am renting.

I do find ditching "friends" that try to tell me what I can and can't do, because I'm over 45, therapeutic and beneficial for my MH.

I'm looking forward to twenty years + working life (which I enjoy), uninterrupted by childcare issues etc, likewise my hobbies, my youngest is 17, my elder two are settled.

My time is becoming my own and my health has never been better, after a lifestyle revamp, helped by not being burdened by conception, hormonal, confidence issues.

Your 40's can be fantastic and i don't think that your friends plans are unrealistic, based on her age.

[Birdsgottafly]

Just to add OP, there's nothing as limiting and unattractive as a closed mind set.

[Clobbered]

Mortgage payer since age 28. Still paying now, late forties, and nearly 13 years to go, after a number of house moves / upgrades.

God forbid I should have to start again, but I'd do it in a heartbeat. I don't know what your problem is, OP. What business of yours is it anyway?

[CalamitouslyWrong]

Don't loads of people buy bigger houses (needing new mortgages) in their 40s?

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

Lots of people (me included) don't get a mortgage until their 30s because of the massive deposits needed these days. So yabu.

And as my mortgage advisor said, the number of years you take a mortgage out for is irrelevant as after a couple of years you should change it and reduce it as you've paid some off.

[fluffyraggies]

Honestly the OP sounds like something my nan would have said in the 70s! In her day you were in your comfy beige slacks with a sensible perm winding down your life by the time you were 50.

The way things are now OP your friend has every chance of still being in employment for another 25 years. Retirement age is being pushed further and further along every few years.

Also perhaps she knows that at some point in the next 20 years or so she will inherit a bit of a lump sum to help pay it off.

[musicalendorphins2]

It is almost always wiser to invest your money rather than pay rent. She can get her money back if she sells it. Paying rent seems more illogical to me.

[EveDallasRetd]

I'm 42 and took on a mortgage in April. Admittedly it's a very small one (relatively), but we didn't want to buy until we were sure of where we were settling. I've got 20 years to pay it off and barring illness or death that should be easy enough. Support your friend, don't judge her choices.

[DownByTheRiverside]

'! do find ditching "friends" that try to tell me what I can and can't do, because I'm over 45, therapeutic and beneficial for my MH.'

Yes. Refreshing, isn't it?
She's got a plan, she might well be working into her 70s and renting is a very insecure basis for many to live with.