to find this lack of human empathy really upsetting

[hatingthehairdressertoday]

I had appointments booked for my kids to have hair cuts last week. My MIL died unexpectedly last week and I forgot about the appointments. Remembered the next day and called to explain. They were sympathetic on phone and I rebooked for today. DC have haircuts and when I go to pay she says that's £x and £x for last weeks no-show. I say I phoned to explain we had bereavement so completely went out of my mind. Too bad, you have to pay. AIBU to have come home and cried my eyes out over this. Please say I'm not. Have name changed for this.

[Mitzimaybe]

YANBU. They are BVU. If you were a "repeat offender" missing multiple appointments then the next time you try to book, they could ask for payment up front or say they'll charge for a no show. But missing once, because of a sudden bereavement? Unbelievable that they would charge you.

[Flipflops7]

I would tell them they have lost your custom, and why.

[scratchandsniff]

I'd be definitely naming and shaming. That's appalling behaviour.

[LynetteScavo]

That is awful!

Something similar happened to me once (although it wasn't a hairdresser) I never went back, and make a point of steering friends away from that persons business.

[expatinscotland]

I wouldn't have paid them. Dicks.

[Aheadofyourtime]

Never been charged for missed appt

[hatingthehairdressertoday]

I'm really overwhelmed by the response on here. Thank you all - I'm glad this is considered callous as it would be a sad world where this is normal. Devere - so sorry for your loss and the terrible way you were treated.

[Glastokitty]

That's terrible! Sorry for your loss.

[differentnameforthis]

Pumpkinpositive I too have worked in an industry where cancellations/no shows were charged for.

But never in my life have I ever implemented a charge for a missed appointment due to bereavement. And even if my manager at the time wanted to, I would not have enforced it & told them to do so.

[fuzzpig]

Fucking hell, Devere jobsworths like that make me so mad. I can't believe that would be their policy.

In the library I work in (and the whole county), we have bereavement, borrower passed away and borrower in hospital as choices on the list (we have to add a reason when we waive a fine), we always listen to circumstances. Always. Losing a bit of money is NOTHING compared to the risk of treating somebody in such a disgusting way.

(Sorry for the rant there, just wanted to point out not all libraries are full of uncaring twats)

[curiousuze]

OP YANBU - that almost goes without saying. But I don't think you need to go down the road of the local papers. For one thing they will want a photo of you and the DCs looking sad (I used to work on a local paper) and I feel like it will trivialise what you are going through. Plus the hairdresser will go out of business all by herself with her horrible attitude.

As for the behaviour of that library devere, that is without humanity. I can't begin to understand it. And I'm a librarian. Fines are only used as deterrents they are never a serious way of a library supplementing it's budget, which makes it even worse. But I won't use this thread for a rant on 'libraries today' . I just wish I had been the librarian who had dealt with you that day.

to you both.

[ChoccaDoobie]

Devere, that is just awful.....what a horrible response to your heartbreaking situation. I'm so sorry for your loss.

OP, yanbu at all. That is not the way to treat a customer and I don't think most hairdressers would behave like that. Myself, DW and Dd all go to the same hairdressers in town. DW often has to travel abroad for work at fairly short notice, she occasionally misses appointments or has to cancel right before. They are lovely about it and never charge her, even though it must be very annoying. I should add that she also goes every 4 weeks and turns up for the vast majority of them! I would contact them in some way to say how upset you were and that you will not be returning.

[Lagoonablue]

In my last job we rang to cancel a hotel conference room and lunches we booked at short notice. The member of staff who was facilitating the conference, her son had been knocked off his bike and killed the night before.

They refused to refund our company or even offer a discount. I got that it was short notice but honestly....we of course never used them again.

[hatingthehairdressertoday]

I'm going to write her a note as suggested up thread and also print off this thread and enclose it with the note. Anything else I was thinking of such as naming and shaming or going to the paper I won't be doing as it wouldn't end well.

[Dontgotosleep]

So sorry for your loss. Sadly there are some nasty people living amongst us
How rude of them. I am disgusted. What a way to treat a customer. I'd be naming and shaming them. They have certainly lost your custom now. They continue to treat their customers like that they'll be out of business within a week. Also was it the manager that demanded this payment. If not was the manager present. Did you speak to the manager.
Another thing how did she know you had the extra money. For all they knew that money could have been to feed your little ones. I wouldn't have paid it T.B.H. I mean what were they going to do hold you prisoner in there. That's illegal for a start.
Like I say if you haven't already speak to the manager and demand an apology and a full explanation because you deserve it otherwise you are going to your local paper. Even if you have no intentions of sometimes the threat is just as good.

[BranchingOut]

I think it is useful to know that in these situations you do not have to pay there and then, you can leave your details and ask them to recover it from you afterwards. See you in court, love!

This applies to breakages in shops too - they can only charge you the cost price of a broken item and you can leave your name and address rather than paying right away.

[OwlinaTree]

My dentist tried to do this. I called to say I was poorly and wouldn't make it. It was first working day of the year in Jan. They'd been shut for two weeks. They said I'd have to pay because I didn't give 24 hours notice. I said how could I? I just changed dentist and never went again so they couldn't charge me. Do they really want a load of ill people turning up anyway?

[Itsfab]

I wouldn't print off this thread. It gives her your username and I think it is the wrong thing to do.

[hatingthehairdressertoday]

I have name changed for this so it's not a worry to me that she sees my username but others on thread might not want theirs known so I won't do that either. I'm not even going to write to her.

[Lioninthesun]

You could do an online review? For the sake of a tenner it seems purely principal she was going on asking for it - just the wrong ones!

[Evenstar]

When my DH died unexpectedly of a heart attack just two days before my DM's 70th birthday celebrations the hotel didn't give anyone a refund, my brother had paid for a meal out elsewhere and was refunded in full. We had all paid upfront for the hotel and they kept it all, for around 60 guests and didn't even refund me as his widow. OP you should definitely name and shame and I am sure other MNers would love to complain on your behalf. There are some very thoughtless people out there

[ConcreteElephant]

MrsDV, I'm just sitting on the compassionate librarians bench next to Fuzzpig and Curiousuze to say that when I was in public libraries we would never have treated you in that awful way. Our overdue policies always aimed to treat our borrowers fairly and with understanding - always ready to write off fines as we wanted people to feel welcome and part of the library, and keep coming back. Had I seen a colleague attempting to enforce a £10 fine in the face of the loss of your daughter I would have been horrified and stepped in.

I am shocked that anyone could be so focused on their business/ rules as to ignore the person in front of them. Focused they may be but it is terribly shortsighted of them and bad for business in the long run.

OP - I'm sorry for your loss.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

Is it just because some people are heartless and would charge whatever the circumstances or do you think they have had experience of people lying about the reason for not turning up, to get away with not paying stuff?

I don't want either situation to be true.

[queenofthemountain]

I suppose she couldn't book anyone else in then though and so she is out of pocket.Ok it's not fair you lose £10 but then it's not fair that she does either....
I can see both sides

[Deverethemuzzler]

Thank you Concrete and everyone else

It really was as awful as I describe and it went on for ages. I saw quite a few different people over the months and they all behaved in the same way. The listened to me but couldn't seem to understand why I was telling them or what it had to do with anything.

Life was so insane back then and so full of trauma I suppose I just accepted it as normal (although I wouldn't back down).

It is an abiding memory so that shows how much it really did affect me. It sounds like one of those things people make doesn't it?

I have used libraries all my life so I know there are loads of lovely librarians really