to think that it's not giving up. It's accepting and moving on.

[cornishbaby]

Wasn't sure how else to word this so I'll explain.

We have a 4yo, who was conceived very easily. We are so very fortunate and ds is everything to us.

We have been trying to 'complete our family' since ds turned two with no luck. It has most recently become so much harder to stay positive and I feel I can no longer cope with the emotional exhaustion and upset. I have found myself imagining life with only one child.

I am 24 and DH is 5 years older. We purposely got married and decided to have our babies young, and hoped to have them close together- as we wanted to be young enough when they reached a suitable age to take them travelling. We felt that while seeing the world together before children would be amazing- we could enjoy having a family earlier then share these life experiences with them. We save for this and really look forward to this. (Probably not for another 10 years! )
Any who.

My doctor will not progress further because we have no medical reasons causing us not to conceive.

We have come to the decision to stop trying next June, if we have not been lucky by then. We feel we've given it a good try.. (hell, we've done everything we can as a couple) but as the gap gets bigger between ds1 and potential future child, and the longer ttc leaves us feeling in limbo with life decisions (do we buy a small house and keep overall costs low..or do we buy big for growing into blah blah ) we need to set a limit.


Out for a girls meal last week and I shared this with them.
They were aghast that we would "give up" and I was told many stories of friends who had tried for 10 years then had a miracle child! Which is so great for them.. but I don't want to do that. I didn't have ds at the age I did to start over (hypothetically) ten years from now. I don't want to continue this heartbreaking routine month after month for years to come.


Aibu? This should be about us as a family right?

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

No periods can also be down to thyroid and pituitary issues. I couldn't conceive DC.2 until I was treated for these as I wasn't having periods.

[cornishbaby]

Rebecca it is probably exactly that. . And quite rightly I do have years upon years of child bearing years left in me. We were in no rush to have children, it's something we thought long and hard about and made ourselves 'a plan' .. (best laid and all that hey! [Wink] )

DH discussed last night and have decided first thing Monday I will call our other local surgery and move. I think we are going to use some travel savings and investigate the private route immediately too. I don't know why I've just accepted this so far. . I guess I just felt that there was nothing that could be done- and if there was I didn't deserve it because of ds.

I am glad I started this thread.. perhaps I was being both reasonable and unreasonable!

[Rebecca2014]

I think you should take people advice on see a different gp, some doctors are just useless. Your doctor properly sees a young woman in front him and thinks "What the big deal? she has another 15 years of fertile years ahead of her."

[eurochick]

I agree with the others. If you want to stop ttc that's entirely your decision. I am an only and it has its advantages. But your GP is an idiot. There is a clear cause for your lack of success- no periods likely means no ovulation so there has been nothing to fertilise. And this should be easily fixable.

[YoureAllABunchOfBastards]

OP, it is totally your decision and no-one else's business.

However, I would second what others have said - the lack of ovulation is an issue and could be investigated further. Your choice if you want to go down that route.

[Andcake]

It is near on impossible to get pregnant without periods. Even if you were not ttc a gp should investigate this! How long ago since you had one - was it pre ds!
Ask to see a different gp - if it feels awkward can you just say you need to see a woman on this occasion ( assuming existing one is a man but I can't see how a woman would ignore lack of periods)
Things like proverb can restart them but only give you a fake period - this might restart your cycles but sometimes doesn't and just hides an underlying issue.
Also keen to know what tests your dr has done.
I just wish everyone women and gps had a better understanding of women s bodies how any one in this scenario can assume a pregnancy will occur with a lack of periods is beyond me!

[MildDrPepperAddiction]

How does your gp know you don't have any issues if he won't refer you? I'd get a second opinion.

[Osirus]

Of course there is a huge medical issue here - there is no way you can get pregnant without ovulating - what the hell is your GP doing (or not doing!!!)?

I would change GPs asap, and get it looked into. You shouldn't accept this situation as it is without knowing what the problem is. It might be easily corrected, and would be an awful shame not to try and you lose that chance of a second child, simply because you accepted the advice of a lazy GP.

[Jollyphonics]

Your GP is wrong. You need to be referred to gynae. Maybe all you need is some Clomid tablets to make you ovulate.

[Igggi]

In that case you have charts to demonstrate that you're not ovulating, and can bring these to fertility clinic. All the ttc sex will get you both down if there is not even a chance of success. I do think your GP is being useless - or perhaps just naive, either way you need to see someone else.

[Iownafourinchporsche]

I personally think you need to explore all avenues before giving up. I was in your shoes and had decided I'd only accept things if I'd given them my best shot. I didn't want to look back when I was 50 and wished I'd tried x or x. Leave no stone unturned now and if it doesn't work, at least you have tried your best.

[Iownafourinchporsche]

Agree you are not ovulating and the GP (or specialist) should be sorting that out.

[Iownafourinchporsche]

They canrestart your periods with a drug called provera. I think most post injection/pill periods would have returned by now and so maybe you need to take action.

Is it possible you have poly cystic ovaries? Google the symptoms. My ovaries are slightly and I needed a drug called clomid to ovulate properly.
Really polycystic ovaries are much easier to deal with generally then male factor infertility or unknown infertility.

I'm going to send you some more info privately.

Can you look on the baby centre infertility forum. There are lots of different support groups and all my friends there managed to have first or second babies in the end. Some like you had no period.

[EverythingCounts]

Right, I spent longer than you on the injection, but my periods did then come back after a few months, and I had DS after that. So it is not inevitable that this has come from the injection. There may well be something else going on and that needs looking at. Your GP is being lazy. Go and see a different one at the practice, or change practice, and tell the person you see that you've been trying for 2 years with no luck and you want a referral for whatever help you can get with your fertility.

Having said all that, I'd also just say that I was an only child, and I had a wonderful, golden childhood. There are lots of myths about having only one that just aren't necessarily true. I can understand that if you want more yourself that is still sad, but there are also other ways of looking at it and you're sensible to start considering moving on as a real possibility. I would maybe think about counselling to get all this off your chest too.

[GirlWithTheLionHeart]

My friend had hrt done as her periods stopped due to the injection. They soon started again. Definitely see another dr

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

You need a different GP. You've been trying for two years, you should be getting a referral. You do have a medical reason, you're not ovulating. This should be investigated.

[Lweji]

Ups, just read updates properly. If you are not ovulating, you should check it further. Change doctors.

[creampie]

I would suspect something has changed between having your first baby and now, that needs investigating.

If you don't ovulate, you have a medical reason for not falling pregnant!

[Thenapoleonofcrime]

My doctor will not progress further because we have no medical reasons causing us not to conceive

Yes you do, you aren't ovulating. Definitely get a second opinion or go private to a proper fertility specialist.

It's one thing to make an informed decision to move on if that really is the case there's nothing you can do, it's another to make it and then find out many years later your information wasn't correct or could have been rectified. If you are happy to move on, so be it- but you don't to me, given how much you have tried. I really think better medical advice is required here.

[Lweji]

You can never know what will happen.

After two years of trying, we finally bought a one bedroom flat and DS was conceived a few months later.

It's possible that you will when the pressure is off.

[cornishbaby]

Igggi .. already doing that but thank you.

[cornishbaby]

As far as blood tests are showing, I do not currently ovulate. Though we still try.

I went on the injection at 16. I suppose 4 years is a really long time but I remember the nurse saying it is very strong and could affect fertility. I wish I had listened. I went on it on the advice of my mother.


Do you guys think my gp is being utterly useless then? I had accepted that they weren't giving me help on account of having a child already..

[fluffyraggies]

Surely having no periods (plus neg ov tests) means you are not ovulating?

The lining of the womb thickens each month in readiness for the implantation of a fertilised egg. If no egg inplants the lining is shed and the cycle begins again. Something is wrong if there is no period.

I agree you shouldn't settle for your current GPs take on your situation.

[Igggi]

You could do the daily temperature thing to check when/if you're ovulating.
I can see that giving up may one day be the right thing for your family, but I certainly wouldn't give up without a fight. You need proper testing. Then you can make your decision.