...to hate Sainsburys checkout staff asking "and what have you been up to today?"

[goodbyegirl]

...as if I was 10 years old and they were my auntie? I know it is part of their training to engage with customers but not all of us want to discuss our activities - feels a bit intrusive to me. I'd rather a harmless chat about the weather!

[Joysmum]

I don't mind being asked but I do mind if they haven't had the training to react to the response they get. Sometimes I'm happy to chat, others I'm not and I hate being made to feel like I'm rude if I don't want to.

Latest example of this was the morning of my friends funeral and I had her 2 kids with me getting some last bits for the wake. Got the usual cheery opening for banter, I politely tried to shut it down so she then asked the kids if we were having a party. 'No, it's my mum's funeral this afternoon'. It wouldn't have taken a genius to work out we weren't bearing expressions to want to chat.

[AshaH1982]

If I can be frank (you can be Susie), a smart arse answer would be worse than being ignored. Because shop assistants can't be smart arsed back, and then they're left feeling like a twat. Just fake it?

[Delphiniumsblue]

I was talking about people in general who wouldn't want to chat to anyone at a check out- or anyone full stop!
I would certainly moan about senior management and not the poor person who is instructed to 'be friendly'.

[Delphiniumsblue]

There are generally miserable people on MN who don't even answer their front door and won't do something simple like let a meter reader in!

[Delphiniumsblue]

I remember someone taking issue about people commenting on the weather!

[Fideliney]

Wow that IS miserable

[OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat]

If I had twitter I would spend the day posting a link to this thread on the twitter feeds of every single retail chain I can think of. I can't stand being asked personal questions by checkout staff, especially when I know they had been told to do it my management in some misguided pursuance of 'improving customer experience'.

Dear managers of all retail chains: Shopping is not a leisure activity, it is a chore just like doing the washing, or cooking dinner. We want to get it over and done with as soon as possible. It is never going to be an enjoyable experience.

Dear Sainsbury's Managers: I don't want to be interrogated about how my day has been by your checkout staff. It has usually been shit but having to lie about it with a bland 'fine thanks' makes me uncomfortable. Your checkout staff don't want to know the real answers about my work stresses or family illnesses either.

Dear Bank Head Honchos:Asking customers what they plan to do with the money is intrusive and rude. Not everyone spends their entire lives taking money out of the bank to go off on lovely shopping sprees. What about the people who are withdrawing money to pay for funerals, or replace or repair things that have broken yet again and will struggle to eat that week because they've had to buy a new washing machine or whatever. They don't want a nice chat about it with the bank clerk.

Dear M&S/Next managers: The 'positive comment about your purchases' at the till is false and pointless. We know you've told them to say it.

I don't mind chat with the checkout staff, but it needs to be neutral and impersonal. We're British, so can talk about the weather for hours. This is especially good if the checkout staff can't see outside so keeping up with changes in the weather 'is it still raining outside?' would be fine for example.

Did you find everything you need? would also be a good one, and even better give them the facility to record the comments and send them off to someone who can act on them. One of many thing that annoys me about shopping is finding that what I wanted has run out, they don't have my size or things had been moved around so I can't find them.

[Delphiniumsblue]

After reading MN I am now scared to make 'off the cuff, light hearted' comments- I nearly did yesterday in a supermarket but thought better of it- I might have ended up on MN being over analysed as if I was serious!

They have to chat these days. Some are not good at it. You do not have to be truthful. Asked what you have been doing you can stick to 'nothing much' or asked what sort of day you are having say 'average'. It doesn't cost anything.

[QuintessentiallyQS]

Dear GAP, can you please tell your ( young teenage summer) staff not to call women in their forties sweetie in every sentence?

12 year old son and I left the shop laughing our heads off.

[purplesel]

Spent most of last night thinking about this, as I still work in retail - It's worth pointing out that a little bit of chit chat goes a long way- replacing a single till with self scan machines, because you can't face a minor bit of human interaction, means the permanent loss of 5 checkout operators per self scan till. You can fit 6 self scan's in to the average till bay.
Ultimately this is what supermarkets want- virtually empty and lifeless superstores with autonomous service and fewer costly staff, not service led retail(as they would make you think) at the cost of jobs and to the detriment of the consumer.

[ComposHat]

and what have you been up to today?"

I am always on the verge of saying to the poor sap on the checkout:

'badger baiting'

'I've just left my wife to run away with her brother'

'dogging'

'i found a cure for the common cold and I've just come out to buy a pack of bog rolls and a Muller Light to celebrate'

but always hold back as they've been given a script to read and they don't want to ask the question any more than I want to answer it.

[Livingwithminecraftaddicts]

Yabu. People dont communicate enough with other folk

[ComposHat]

I would relish a genuine chit-chat, but don't want to take part in a farce of conversation scripted by Sainsbury's HQ in which neither party particularly wants to take part in.

[AgathaF]

I don't mind the genuine chat stuff either, as long as it's not intrusive. I'm almost never rude to the staff, apart from in Lush, where being abrupt to the point of rudeness is the only way to negotiate getting around the store without being pestered every inch of the way.

[MarmaladeShatkins]

I am so glad I don't work in retail any more! We were expected to make chit-chat with the customer. I never did unless I felt that the customer wanted a natter (you can tell usually) My area manager used to get huffy about me being a small talk refusenik. She offered to show me "how it's done" one day and she approached a surly-looking customer with a "Hi! How are you doing there?!" Customer plonked the dress she had been looking at in AM's hand, told her to stop harrassing customers if she wanted any hope of making sales that day and stalked out. I howled.

I generally don't mind others doing it but I like talking. My favourite checkout person in Aldi does ace small talk. "Awww, been dumped?" he said once when I was buying a bottle of gin. I love him!

[keatsybeatsy]

There's a woman at my local Asda who asks, 'and what do you do?' She really barks it out and expects a full response, and then puts on her judgey face.

I love her - her questioning means that I get to find out everyone's job while I wait in the line. She always remembers me too as she likes the job I have and wants to chat about it.

I quite like the chit chat - it's easy enough to get talking about something the other person is interested in, isn't it? I love hearing about other people's lives so it's all fine by me.

My daughter is working in retail just now and the rudeness of people is absolutely astounding; I think I would have to be restrained if I was on a till and someone did the entire transaction while they were on their mobile phone, or treated me as if I was interrupting their day by serving them.

It's, largely, a rotten job. Doesn't hurt to chat about something the person serving you might actually want to engage with.

[keatsybeatsy]

And also, sometimes it's very funny - in Sainsburys yesterday, the lad was being very dramatic, big sighs, and speaking in a very strong accent. Seemed a bit suspicious.

Asked him where he was from - he said 'Poland'.

We chatted a bit more, and his accent was definitely slipping, so I asked where in Poland. He admitted he was no more Polish than I was but just pretended to see if people were nasty to him, then he could lay into them .

I liked that.

[Fideliney]

He admitted he was no more Polish than I was but just pretended to see if people were nasty to him, then he could lay into them

Was he unabashed?

[RachelWatts]

I used to like going to one particular person's till in Saintsbury's, as he'd obviously been told to make small talk but was clueless, so used to comment on your shopping.

"Oh, carrots. I like carrots"
"Chicken. Nice in a casserole"
"Beer. Having a party?"

We used to buy odd combinations of things to see what he'd say. The time we bought a bottle of vodka, a cucumber, some condoms and a pair of marigolds was interesting.

I don't really understand, if people really don't want to talk, why they don't say something like "I'm sorry - I'm having a bad day and I'm not able to chat right now" when the checkout person tries to engage them in conversation.

[MarmaladeShatkins]

Actually laughing at the pretend Pole.

[squoosh]

I don't mind the prescribed chat but I HATE, HATE, HATE when they say 'you can put your PIN number in now' or 'you can remove your card now'.

I know how to use fucking chip and pin, it isn't new technology!

GAH.

[whattheseithakasmean]

I don't really understand, if people really don't want to talk, why they don't say something like "I'm sorry - I'm having a bad day and I'm not able to chat right now" when the checkout person tries to engage them in conversation.

I am not sure I should have to apologise for wanting to buy food in peace. And why should people have to explain themselves? They just want to buy essential food.

[keatsybeatsy]

But it's a person.

Talking to another person.

If you just said, 'my day's shite,' you could probably engage in a bit of chat. As if they were almost human . . .

[Amrapaali]

Yes, keatsy, but it is a script. I don't think the checkout person is really expecting a more complicated answer than a vague "oh, bits and bobs..." Or "I'm fine, thank you.".

Our bincleaner comes around to collect the money for his cleaning services. Does he come around, knock, collect and leave? Does he, heck...

He starts off by talking about the weather and goes on and on and on...he usually looks like he is doing a Ph.D dissertation on the Gulf stream's effect on European weather patterns.

After a couple of minutes, I am slumping gently at the doorway, the money flopping around in my hand. And he segues on to the traffic that day, his holiday plans, my holiday plans, a fair bit of stream-of-consciousness drivel and ends off with a flourishy "will Be back for your brown bin next time!" All this takes the best part of 5 minutes.

I usually tune out because he doesn't actually listen to what I am saying, he has just been instructed to do "small talk", I think.

I hear the words "next time" and start nodding vigorously, because I know he is wrapping up. Shame I cant do online payments.

[keatsybeatsy]

Really? You don't think that checkout operators can cope with you deviating from their script?

Poor sods.