In November our nanny goes on holiday for 2 weeks so we need alternative childcare. DD will be one year old by then.
We live overseas with no support network or family nearby, so I suggested to DH that I take a week off work, he takes a week off work, and we cover the two weeks that way. Thats' what many working parents do.
He is reluctant to take a week off (runs his own business) and has instead suggested that his mum flies out for a week and takes care of DD.
As we live overseas, DD has never met MIL (neither have I). Neither of us has even seen her on Skype.
Backstory is that DH has a very fractured relationship with his mum, hasn't seen her himself for ten years, falls out with her regularly. Had an awful childhood (she is an alcoholic, but apprently doesn't drink anymore) and had a succession of unsuitableboyfriends/husbands. Was generally neglectful. He has a lot of issues caused by this tumultuous and damaging childhood.
Even without a child, it would likely be a difficult trip having her come to stay with us given the nature of DH's relationship with her.
Even without the back story I wouldn't be massively keen on leaving my child in the care of someone who is effectively a stranger for a whole week.
With the backstory, I'm hesitant.
AIBU?
AIBU?
To be hesitant about leaving DD with MIL for a week?
Dilemma123 · 17/06/2014 10:31
That is an extremely odd decision he has made there. 
by all means if he wants to build bridges with his mother and get her to meet you and DD he has a right to, but this is not the way to do it - not at all. What on earth is he thinking? 
If it's a disaster she'll storm off home early and leave you in the lurch with childcare. You need to be introduced to her gradually, in an environment where you can leave after a day or two if it is intolerable.
Leaving them in the one to one care of any total stranger is a bit risky, but especially one with her background.
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