to think my dsis should not let her toddler trash my house?

[passmethewineplease]

don't know if I'm being uptight or not..changed a few details as don't want to out myself.

dsis has a 17 month old little girl, as most toddlers she is in to everything she can't have.

whenever they come round, she goes for everything, the TV, the DVDs, literally everything but the toys!

my dsis lets her do it all, I have had to put the dvds back twice, Hoover up again as she let her squash a cake in to the carpet, she lets her go to the TV and wack it. she will say no but doesn't actually stop her unless she is doing something dangerous.

I wouldn't mind if she tidied up a bit after her but she doesn't so my house is left looking like a bomb site.

am I being unreasonable? whenever we take the dc out I always watch them and stop them from doing anything they shouldn't be and always tidy up their mess if they make any, like pens and paper etc.

I'm not talking about a toy here and there, I'm talking chaos everywhere.

[MomOfTwoGirls2]

Oh, and use your pregnancy to guilt trip your sister into tidying up after DN.
'Sorry sis, am feeling wrecked. Not up to bending down to tidy up those DVDs that DN pulled out. Can you tidy them for me...'

[MomOfTwoGirls2]

Rule in our house is that eating only allowed at kitchen table. My DDs much older, aged 10 and 11. But I enforce this with my much younger Nieces also, as well as for all play dates.

We had ants last year, it was really hard to get rid of them. I use this as excuse to enforce this rule. My DDs freak out a bit if anybody takes food into another room. They REALLY don't want ants again this year...

[Tessdurbevilliespoon]

Your sis is a bit thoughtless I think. Especially leaving you to tidy up the devastation when you are at tiring stage of pregnancy and have your older kids to see to. You have your own kids, and I presume you took them out as toddlers so if you think it's unreasonable it probably is. I also don't think there is a problem with you stepping in and removing your niece if your sis fails to do so. It takes a village and all that. My nephew (older than your niece) can be very tiresome at times and I have had to put him in time out on occasion for serious misdemeanors such as running across the road, spitting and meddling in the under sink cupboard (chemicals in there, he opened the child lock!) My sis is fine with it and has my blessing to do the same with my daughter 3 yrs if necessary.

[Sandytrousers]

I don't think you sound remotely uptight.

Your sister sounds bad mannered; she isn't showing any respect for your home or possessions and is setting a bad example to her child.

Don't have them round to your house. You can say, gently and without aggression, that you can't cope with them coming because of the mess it causes. It's the truth, isn't if?

Meet where the surroundings aren't your precious things and enjoy her company rather than let her annoy you with her lax parenting.

[passmethewineplease]

I could do, I'd just feel like I would be stepping on my sister's toes a bit? but if she won't say anything then it will be up to me?

[alemci]

dont let her have any cake. biscuit better? hover and make her sit or you take it away.

[passmethewineplease]

I don't have a high chair unfortunately. and even when she is in hers she soon screams to get out.

[Journey]

I agree with HappyAgainOneDay

[mynamesnotwendy]

Food in a highchair?

[HumphreyCobbler]

I don't think you sound uptight. I had a toddler like this, I had to follow him around all the time, stopping him. It was tiring and annoying, but I couldn't let him trash other people's houses!

[mynamesnotwendy]

You sound very uptight.

[passmethewineplease]

I would but I don't drive and where she lives isn't accessible by public transport which is none existent in our village anyway thanks to council cuts.

[Barbaralovesroger]

Can you just request to go to your DS's as you are do exhausted at the mo?

[HappyAgainOneDay]

I wouldn't let them come to my house if the mother couldn't be bothered to control her child and what I said to the child was ignored.

[Scrounger]

It is fine to be laidback in your own house, not in someone else's. We had a similar problem with a niece but she was a bit older. When she came round I told her and my DS in front of their GPs (who had brought her over) three house rules. I kept it simple but I said it in front of GPs so that they knew. We also moved some really delicate models that had been broken up before on previous visits.

[passmethewineplease]

Ale she does, dsis has had a photo frame broke, her phone broke amongst other things.

I think my dsis is just really really really laidback?

[minipie]

pulling out a pile of DVDs is ok

but SIL should clear them up afterwards

letting her squish cake into the carpet or whack the tv (presumably with chance of breaking it) is not ok

so yanbu, mostly

but... it's really not that easy to stop toddlers doing things, especially if there isn't a toddler proof room to retreat to. I agree, meet at her house that way it's her mess and her stuff that gets destroyed!

[alemci]

I wouldn't have it. I wouldn't have let my own dc do that in my house or anywhere else. make her have her cake at the table and say no to your dn if she is bashing tv.

does she do these things in her own home.

[passmethewineplease]

noodle I wouldn't normally mind but I'm knackered too, I have my four year old, my five month old and I'm 12 weeks pregnant. . I need sleep.

[indigo18]

YADNBU I was very annoyed with a friend who not only made no attempt to stop her child from riding a toy tractor over flowerbeds - he was ignoring my calling to him loudly to stop - but actually laughed at me. There was plenty of space for him to ride and he was looking me straight in the eye as he ignored my protestations.

[passmethewineplease]

sorry do you mean tell my niece or my dsis, if you mean my niece I do tell her, she screams. lol but by then she has already done it.

[NoodleOodle]

It's not really fair on you but maybe she is knackered and hoping you will jump in and do a bit of the child watching while she sits back as a pampered guest when she's at your house?

[passmethewineplease]

I'll be honest cakey I feel like I can't sometimes which is silly as it is my house?!

if I do say something it is usually laughed off or followed by yeah she's being a little bugger.

[Scrounger]

Agree with cakey, if she isn't going to say anything then stop her or prevent it happening in the first place e.g. she only eats food in the kitchen or take something off her if she is going to hit the TV with it etc You could try distraction as well but her mother should be stopping her. Is there any reason that she isn't? If she continues to let her child misbehave and you feel that it is too much hassle to have her over at this age arrange to meet out or at your DS's.