To not expect my 13 month old to feed himself?

[Dietagainmonday]

My ds attends nursery twice a week. He is now in the group 1-2 year olds and is now expected to feed himself. I've always encouraged him and he usually grabs the spoon off me but I try to make sure he has a decent portion before he takes the spoon and gets dinner all over his face, hair, the walls floor. Have I babied him to much or is the nursery having to high expectations? he is the youngest in this group at the moment. Yesterday they had beef dinner for lunch and chicken curry for dinner and was told he ate it all but this morning I gave him Weetabix he managed about two spoonfuls with difficulty then the rest went on the floor. He's fine with finger food but not great with a spoon.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Chis-yes, but I'd expect done spills if the cup was a plastic beaker.

As far as I can remember ds didn't want my input at all at meal times

[OohOod]

Ds is 12 m and using a fork/spoon quite well now but still uses his hands to help. Started BLW at 6m just using hands he managed to eat a lot.

[3DcAndMe]

10 one year olds would be 4 staff not 5

You might have a baby needing a bottle which takes over one member of staff. Someone will likely have a quick tidy round the room too

Learning to self feed at 13 months old is not ridiculous

In my setting we start bits of self feeding from 6 months and by about 9 months they are usually very good at picking up and eating food

[grabaspoon]

80's Mum ; Regardless of how many staff you have - children of this age are developmentally able to attempt to self feed themselves.

With 1 year olds you have a 1-3 ratio so you would have 4 members of staff - 1 will be setting up the sleep area, another will be changing nappies of the children who have finished, 1 may be dealing with parents and helping the last supervise the meal.

[80sMum]

Grabaspoon if you have 10 one-year-olds in the room, should't there be at least 5 adults in there too? Feeding 2 one-year-olds each is doable surely?

[ThisFenceIsComfy]

ChishandFips yeah I think they would be capable but I wouldn't expect it to be 100% spill free

[grabaspoon]

Yes Chish and Fips I would be encouraging this - some wont be able to = but a small bit of water in a childs jug and a big cup it's doable :)

[3DcAndMe]

As above poster said, on a 1-3 ratio you cannot feed each baby

My dd is just turned one and feeds herself all meals. She mainly uses her hands. Yes she flicks it about a bit but I just make sure I give her enough so that if she throws some on the floor she still has some to eat

[grabaspoon]

I used to run the 1-2 room of a nursery and yes when you have 10 1 year olds at a table you can't feed them all, however they all copy eachother and have a good go at feeding themselves, obviously we help them scoop up food and encourage good manners but basically at 14 months we expect them to try and feed themselves.

Breakfast - wheetabix, rice crispies or toast is easy enough
Lunch - we would chop everything down so they were basically scooping it onto a spoon
Dinner - sandwiches, soup, beans on toast, again all easily to feed.

[ChishandFips33]

I guess it depends on the child and their previous experiences. You might need to chat further with the nursery, maybe by saying you'd like to follow their lead at home to help his skills and ask them to walk you through what/how exactly he eats - this may then flag up that it's not all cutlery feeding but fingers are used too, food over the table etc

Out of interest, would anyone think a 21month old is capable of pouring their own drink into a cup from a small jug?

[ThisFenceIsComfy]

Managing to spoon feed well at 13 months? God no I wouldn't expect that at all. Managing to feed himself with fingers? Yes totally. I wouldn't be spoon feeding a 13 month old all the time and I would let him have a go using a spoon where possible. If he only manages two mouthfuls of yoghurt for example then help him after. Weetabix could always be given with less milk so it's not so mushy and give him a spoon. Is he good with finger feeding?

[noblegiraffe]

My 14 month old has been feeding herself with her fingers since she was 6 months, I used to feed her yoghurt by loading the spoon and giving it to her to put in her mouth. The last couple of weeks I have been giving her the spoon and the pot and she can feed herself it now (some still goes down her front!)

She has on the odd occasion stabbed some food with a fork, but is still mainly picking it up with her fingers. For breakfast she has shreddies rather than Weetabix because she can pick them up, although she will have a go with a spoon.

Perhaps you could start by loading the spoon and giving it to him, rather than directly feeding him?

[HappyAgainOneDay]

Better weather coming. Feed your youngsters outside and they can 'help' you with their own spoon. Leave it to them sometimes and don't worry about the mess because the birds will clear that up for you.

[Barbeasty]

At 14 months DS would either pick things up with his fingers or sit there with his mouth open waiting to be spoon fed.

Until DH had to pop back into the baby/toddler breakfast room one day, and caught DS sitting perfectly at the table on a little chair, eating his cereal with a spoon.

Young children do all sorts of things at nursery, around other children, which they don't even attempt at home. I'm sure that if the children struggle the staff will help, they'll just expect the children to have a go first.

[OneUp]

My LO was pretty good at eating with a spoon at 13 months. She'd been using a spoon since about 8 months though.

[OrangeMochaFrappucino]

My ds was using a spoon at 7m though he did seem to think yoghurt was best eaten with his fingers. They all do things at different ages though eg he didn't walk til 17 months so I don't think you can be prescriptive and say 'they should all do x by this age' or 'they can't do x until they are that age'.

What I don't understand though is this idea of a 'decent portion'. Mine has always eaten such variable amounts at mealtimes that I never knew what constituted a decent portion. He is 3 now and sometimes will have literally two mouthfuls of dinner, other times a plateful. I think they are generally fairly good at regulating their own appetites, but again that may just be my experience.

[Jinty64]

None of mine fed themselves at that age because they were still babies. Now they have to be "school ready" by 2 things might have changed.

[Joysmum]

I believe in giving babies the opportunities to try to do more for themselves early on. When my DD was weaned, as soon as she became interested in reaching for the spoon she got her own too.

Many of my friends took the line of least resistance and did things for their children because it was quicker and easier for them. I certainly found it harder initially to allow the freedoms but it soon paid off as my DD generally liked to imitate adults and been more independent earlier.

What I've never done is to measure her achievements against others, just concentrated on trying to promote the will to try.

[StormyBrid]

Mine's almost 13 months, and I consider a meal a success if she eats at least two mouthfuls with her hands! Spoons are just for chewing. If you're worried, let him start a meal trying to feed himself (so he's hungry for it) and then help out. They're all different though - I know another 13m old who was blw from six months and will now only eat beige food, so don't beat yourself up for feeding him whatever way works for you. He'll get the hang of feeding himself with a spoon eventually.

[mygrandchildrenrock]

I expect Nursery will give her a bigger portion than if she was being fed, to allow for the mess on her, the table etc. That's what they usually do. Full babies are happier babies and nursery will not want her to be hungry. I'm sure they will help her too, as well as encourage her to use her fingers and spoon. Try not to worry, but talk to staff and see what they say about how she feeds herself.

[ChunkyPickle]

They are all different.

At 13 months DS1 could have happily fed himself stuff he could hold in his hand, but was awful with sloppy stuff. By 18 months he was pretty good with forks and spoons though, and would get most of it in.

DS2 is already better at feeding himself at 6 months than DS1 was at 12 months. He's already so good at getting the right end of a spoon in his mouth that I think he'll be self-sufficient by 13 months.

It's all very well saying let them make a mess, I'm fine with mess, but DS1 was so frustrated that he wasn't getting any of whatever he was trying to get in his mouth that it seemed like a cruel torture not to help out!

[DinoSnores]

I've never spoon fed my children and they really do manage to get plenty in. DS is fine with cutlery now but 13mo DD really just uses her hands.

[maddening]

Ps later on you can encourage them to put their food on to their plate from a central dish and they learn portion control and to take what they need.

[maddening]

It is good for development imo and part of the idea of self feeding is that they learn to stop when they're full where it's easier to over fill if you are being fed apparently.