AIBU to expect to sit next to my child on a 10 hour flight

[soimpressed]

This year I have booked my first ever package holiday. I booked with what I thought was a good company and the holiday cost a lot of money. I was told I could check in 7 days before the flight and tried to do so but the system wouldn't let me check in. I tried several times with no success. It took 3 emails before the company finally sorted the problem out. When I finally got to check in online I found that I wasn't sitting next to my child. Everyone else has obviously been able to check in and there are no seats left together. My only option is to pay £150 each seat to upgrade. My DS is in tears about having to sit next to strangers. The company are refusing point blank to help. AIBU or do I just need to shell out the £300?

If you ignore all the holier than thou posters on mumsnet :-D People in the real world are actually very accommodating and reasonable.

Before kids (when me and DH actually used to fly places to go on holidays) we'd just turn up and if we didn't get a seat sitting directly next to each other, no worries, we both had books.

However, on numerous occassions we'd end up a row in front or aisle on one side, window on the other side and in almost every occassion once the passengers near us figured we were together, if anyone was travelling alone they always offered to swap (rather than have us talking over them probably).

And we were grown adults who were perfectly capable of sitting apart. I've done the same when I've been the lone traveller, if I can see people are separate and my seat will let them sit together I've moved voluntarily (as long as I still get an aisle seat of course, no way I'm giving up that...)

So, in my experience the general populace is more than willing to let adult travellers sit next to each other on the same row, I'm sure they would be even more amenable to moving to allow a child to sit next to (as in directly next to) its mum.

Ignore the airlines, and put your faith in humanity (it's often shite, but sometimes it does come through!)

LtEveDallas Allow them to get upset? How could I prevent it? I have paid for our seats, why should I pay extra for the right to be able to sit with my children?

Trains don't charge you extra to sit with your children?

The reason airlines do is because parents like you pay. They know parents will pay, so they exploit it.

I am not the one in the wrong here. Neither is the paying parent. The airline is. Stop lining their pockets & they will stop charging.

I don't call 150quid PER PERSON a few extra quid.

Or about £8 if it's a different airline.

It's a difficult situation, but tbh, all the people saying they refuse to pay (when payment is required, unlike the OP, who simply couldn't access the website in order to check herself and her child in) is just blather.

Your choice. You pay, or you don't. You have a choice.

I always pay priority boarding for me and dd, simply to avoid the RyanairRush. At Christmas we boarded first, and settled down, and then were moved, because a middle aged couple had reserved the seats (paying even more than us) that we had foolishly chosen. That made me cross, because I had also paid extra, and the staff hadn't told me I couldn't sit there, until the couple got on, when I had to move. But that's Ryanair for you.

And frankly, the Jeremy Kyle fodder who would tell their children to "kick off" probably have the kind of child that kicks off anyway, given the manners of the parent.

Hope you get it sorted OP, and have a lovely holiday!

Can I ask anyone in the know, why when you book seats they are not allocated together like say, theatre seats?
I've always wondered.

People always get shirty on theses threads but there's not a lot of things in like that you'd book and pay for and not sit with the people you booked with eg. A restaurant or cinema, group holiday etc. the airlines are bloody awkward and just do this to justify extra charges.

I haven t flown for about five years since I was sat apart from dd 5 and luckily noticed that the couple next to her with doing everything but shagging and then got kicked off the plane at an emergency stop as the guy was coked out of his face

We bought a camper and have lovely long relaxing holidays in France or Spain.

LtEveDallas Allow them to get upset? How could I prevent it? I have paid for our seats, why should I pay extra for the right to be able to sit with my children?

You could prevent it by paying for allocated seats. You have paid for 'seats' on the flight, not 'your' seats on the flight. As long as you get a seat then the airline has fulfilled their part of the transaction - getting you to and from the country you want to go to.

Stop lining their pockets & they will stop charging

No they won't. They are a business and they can do what they like.

I don't call 150quid PER PERSON a few extra quid

That was for an extra legroom upgrade, not allocated seating. I have never paid more than 20 per person per flight for allocated seating. I have flown with Thomson, First Choice, Cyprus Air and Thomas Cook at least twice a year for the last 10 years.

But as Ledkr says, for anything else it's a perfectly reasonable and fair assumption that a group booking together will be put together, for no extra charge. Because it's a ridiculous notion that you should be separated.

I have never paid more than 20 per person per flight for allocated seating.

I have never paid more than zero dollars/pounds per person per flight for allocated seating. I have flown extensively in the last 5yrs, on Virgin, Emirates, Singapore airlines, Malaysian airlines, Tiger (local interstate operator) and ALWAYS had seats NEXT TO my children

But you keep thinking that giving the airline your hard earned money is working for you! I'll save mine for extra spends on my holiday!

The last, and only, time I did a flight with Thompson, ds was two weeks past his third birthday and I paid for allocated seats together. They seated us across the aisle from each other, so technical the same row, but, due to the emergency exits and extra legroom seats, this meant he was actually a few feet behind me, ie too far away to hold my hand. He refused to sit away from me, had a complete meltdown, the couple he was supposed to sit next to looked terrified! The cabin crew just kept repeating that there was nothing they could do as all seats were allocated. No-one offered to swap, everyone had their eyes completely averted and, despite asking nicely, nobody wanted to swap. After 20 minutes of me standing in the aisle with a screaming, crying, and by that time vomiting, toddler hanging off my legs, it was apparent that the plane was going nowhere until he was sat next to me, and a young girl at the back offered to swap, for which I was hugely grateful. It was ds's first ever flight and he was petrified and just wanted to be with me.

It totally wrecked the whole holiday for me and I wrote a complaint letter on return, as I felt I'd paid £60 (or whatever it was) for no reason. I appreciate that technically it was the same row, but we weren't within easy reaching distance of each other, he was a very small child and I think it was totally unacceptable to be expected to sit anywhere other than directly next to a child of that age.

I flew TC to Turkey last year and they wanted £130 each way for a family of 5, that's ridiculous when I've just paid 1000's for a holiday. In the event I got the TC agent to throw pre-booked seats in for free as a condition of booking. It is ludicrous to allow every seat on a plane to be pre-booked as it causes more problems than it solves and gives the cabin crew no flexibility. Airlines, like all businesses, have to respond to customer demand and they will stop this once there are enough complaints and public dissatisfaction about it. Fares will go up a bit to compensate but I think most people would prefer to know what they are getting up front and not have to pay for all the ludicrous extras which, often, make it cheaper to fly with the traditional carriers like BA, KLM, Air France etc.

OP I can see why you are pissed off, it is shit, but I don't think you should let it ruin your holiday. Thomson are just transporting you (uncomfortably and with shitty service) to your destination. once there you don't need to have anything to do with them, just enjoy your holiday and deal with the hotel if there are any problems. and remember, go to the Thomson reps welcome talk by all means but whatever you do, do not book any trips or activities through them as they will be more expensive than doing it yourself or with a local tour operator.

That sounds absolutely shocking Juliet - what a horrible horrible experience for your poor boy on his first flight.

I can't believe an airline would expect any under 5 to sit apart from their carer (and they can spout off all they want about 'seats together' including the row in front blah blah blah, we all know that is not the same as having a seat next to your child) it's absurd.

I think that OP could have helped herself by calling the airline and asking what was wrong with online check in.

But you keep thinking that giving the airline your hard earned money is working for you! I'll save mine for extra spends on my holiday!

Cool, do as you wish, as will I. Woohoo a whole extra 60, don't all rush at once kids

Not sure why you need to tell us about non-british tourist operators though, when we are talking about package holidays and British budget airlines?

It does seem daft doesn't it Ledkr, but then there will always be the people that book late, book last, check in last etc and will then kick off when the only seats left are singles/doubles and they want 4 in a row. They will be the delightful passive aggressive ones that say things like "Oh well if you won't move [from your pre-booked and paid for seats] then you will just have to mop up little Johnny's sick/hold his hand when he cries/take him to the toilet"

But there is no way around it really:

If seats were allocated on booking, then the tour operator would lose out if all they could offer closer to the holiday departure was separated seats - people may not book and then they fly a plane with empty seats. Not cost effective - extra costs passed back to consumers.

If seats were allocated at check-in, then people will get to airports earlier and earlier to ensure they got what they wanted. Desks need to be used for other flights, then there is a mad rush at the 2 hour point for people who have been clogging up the aisles for 5 hours. Plus what about the people who have left in plenty of time but then got stuck in traffic? They then kick off when all the seats are booked. If no-one is paying and two families turn up at once, who gets the last seats together? Does the check in desk flip a coin?

The current system is fairest I suppose - allocated seats can be booked 90 days beforehand. I know of people that sit pressing refresh from midnight to ensure they get the exact seats they want. We don't do that, but do make sure we book them the next day - and generally even 8 hours after booking opens more than half the plane is gone.

You pay your money, you take your chance - or not . It may not be right, but I'll never take the chance where DD is concerned.

but I'll never take the chance where DD is concerned.

And THAT is exactly why the airlines charge. Because people (parents usually) are too scared to "take a chance" on what shouldn't be a chance based exercise.

They have you over a barrel.

A plane consists of seats.

Aisle
Window
Middle
Legroom etc extra

Now people have preferences. Fears. Windows better. Aisle better. Don't want to be squashed. So seats have a premium for personal taste.

If you are not fussy, just want a seat, just buy a ticket. If you have a preference, height weight leg room children or anything then you really need to think first and act accordingly.

(No restaurant has a premium on a table in the same way. Comparison fail!)

So if I travel alone and want legroom or I travel with my children I book accordingly. Because otherwise your frankly stupid aren't you?

Well yes, of course they do, it's business. As long as I am seated next to my DD I don't care how much it costs and never will. Lots of people will feel the same.

(It's still 'chance' whether they charge or not, until all families are 4 people only and all airline seats are in rows of 2, oh and no single people ever fly)

I often travel alone, and three times I have been asked to move by parents with children so that they can sit together. I always have, because I agree that parents need to be next to their children, but I have lost window seats and ended up in the middle of rows, which I don't like. I had no idea there were these colossal extra charges and I agree they are a rip-off; name and shame the company.

It must be nice not to have to worry about how much something costs, LtEve. However, for some of us that extra £20 each means the difference between having a holiday or not. It's got nothing to do with, as you seem to imply, valuing our children's comfort and safety less than you do.

I always thought Thomson were fine. Then I actually booked a holiday with them. Out of my family group, they told me, 19 hours before long-haul departure, that I wasn't going because they'd messed up and hadn't actually arranged a holiday for me but the others could go.

Their attitude was "you can have your money back, not our problem". They kept up that attitude until just before the hearing in the Small Claims Court when they suddenly became keen to offer me money. At that point I said I'd prefer to get the same amount of money awarded as damages (a couple of grand) at the hearing (which I was).

Did this happened in the 70's, 80's and 90's when you were travelling with your parents? I think not. People aren't stupid for refusing to pay, again, to sit next to their children. They resent being made to pay to sit next to their small children as it is not really optional. It is clearly ludicrous. The business model of the airlines that do it is wrong - it is to make the seats look much cheaper than other carriers when they actually are not. It will change because, increasingly, people are choosing to travel with airlines that don't do it when they can - you can fly to holiday destinations from the UK on numerous carriers, many non-British. It is also often cheaper to book flights and hotel separately.

The cheap package company airlines have cheap, crappy software systems as well as stupid business models. It is perfectly possible to allow some preferred seats to be pre-booked, often for free at different times for different layers of loyalty card customers, whilst allowing group seats to be kept back for the families or groups that have already booked so that, if they don't pay or pre-book, they are still seated together. The software algorithms keep up with bookings in real time. British Airways for example. Who are now often as cheap, or only slightly more expensive, that the budget airlines once you discount not having to pay to: sit next your children, take a buggy, take luggage, take more than one bag, take a carseat, take sports equipment etc

Give over Annie, you are taking offence on purpose there.

If 60 is the difference between an overseas holiday or not, then you have more issues than what seats to choose - because frankly if 60 is going to break the bank then you should have chosen a cheaper holiday.

I have my priorities and know my absolute budget whenever I look for a holiday - and that includes an 'emergency' fund of about 200. Within this budget is the cost of allocated seating - which shows up as an extra, alongside the cost, before you have even booked.

If I cannot afford an overseas holiday (taking into consideration ALL my requirements), I don't book an overseas holiday - I holiday in the UK instead, or don't go on holiday.

I haven't "implied" anything. I've said why I do what I do. I've explained why it is important to me. I resent YOUR implication that I was doing anything other than that.

So if parents get guaranteed seats next to their children free of charge it's pretty obvious that the airlines will raise base fares and other passengers will be charged more. I don't see that as reasonable.

Juliet that's a horrible experience for you and your little boy. You paid to sit together and together should have meant next to each other.

That's how it always worked before - same as the cost of people wanting to take sports equipment etc was built into the cost. And it wasn't just families - it was for group bookings, including couples.

Why should people who don't care where they sit, who next to etc pay the same as those who wish to book a specific type of seat next to their travel companion???

Do remember that having children is a lifestyle choice - if you don't want to pay to sit next to them then either don't have them or don't rake them on a plane! Having a hidden disability is not a lifestyle choice but I pay to sit next to DH despite a letter from consultant (to be fair I've never asked about waiving charge).