to think it's inconsiderate to travel in the quiet coach with small children

[someonestolemynick]

That, really.

I make a point of sitting in the quiet coach, where available in order to be able to work, read or just be alone with my own thoughts.

Today I'm joined by a young family with a baby. Of course, the baby starts crying whenever we go through a tunnel. Arrrgh! I know children make noice, hence KEEP.THEM.OUT.OF.THE.QUIET.ZONE.

AIBU?

[BeeInYourBonnet]

I think quiet coaches encourage people in non-quiet coaches to think its OK to be noisy as hell. On my last train journey, me and my family were in a normal coach, but I still expected my DCs to keep the noise down and be respectful of other passengers. Whereas the family behind us let their DCs (who were not tiny, maybe c6-8yo) to play their new harmonicas!! //shock //hmm

[Artandco]

Why are people also suggesting they would be horrified if a child was in first class? First class doesn't mean child free at all. On a plane it means you often get a bed so you can at least all get half a decent sleep. On a train it often means you can get a seat when all the others are full. Like hell am I going to fly to Australia with x2 toddlers and not use first class if I can ( it's always half empty anyway)

[Branleuse]

yabu. A baby cant help it, and it IS public transport.

ive told off a group of rowdy teenagers in the quiet coach, but a poor baby who was frightened of tunnels, i think maybe they wanted somewhere quieter for him if he was sensitive

[Wisteria36]

Oh yes and we came back first class with both kids (booked late and it was almost same price) and it was great. Presumably if kids weren't allowed there they wouldn't have sold us a child ticket.

[SpookedMackerel]

I travel by train with my DC a lot. If it is a long journey, I book seats. We are frequently allocated the quiet carriage, but usually don't know until we struggle into our seats and sort out all our luggage, then notice the little sticker on the window.
I am not enough of a martyr to pack everything up and struggle off through the train in search of more seats. So I don't.
I try to keep them quiet, but actually I would do that anyway, wherever we sat.
It's weird that people think quiet carriage should mean absolute silence, but any other part of the train anything goes. I would be mortified if my children were disturbing other passengers on any part of the train.

[samandi]

Of course YANBU. If the parents didn't realise when booking, then they are not being unreasonable either. But if they did that's obviously inconsiderate and some of the reactions on this thread are clearly a little defensive!

[samandi]

We normally book the quiet coach and although it doesn't say anything about talking to your travelling companions we do talk less than we would normally and at a lower volume. It's just a basic courtesy to fellow passengers. Sadly, not one that is shared by everyone.

[SpecialAgentFreyPie]

Even though baby/toddler squeals send chills up my spine (I bloody hate them!) I'm never bothered by these sorts of children noises unless parents are smiling indulgently and allowing every noise-as well as electronic noises- possible. That makes me want to cry! I guess because I feel I can ask an adult to turn their I-Whatever down, but I'm afraid of approaching parents, even if it's just about electronic devices.

[UptheChimney]

I'm still quite at posters who are criticising people who expect quiet in the Quiet Coach, and calling them rude. Gosh, how unreasonable and rude to expect, um, quiet in the Quiet Coach.

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

I booked a seat when you traveling with 11mo DS, just asked if I wanted to be at a table and which way to face. Seats ended up in the quiet coach there and back. DS was fine on the way but really cried on the way back. After much tutting and huffing and dirty looks by the people over the aisle I ended up stood outside the toilet for 45 minutes. If I did it again I'd stay seated because I didn't intentionally book those seats and babies cry, that's life.

[Grennie]

I am laughing bitterly at the idea that travelling in first class means that you get quiet.

[TillyTellTale]

A baby crying? I have sensory issues, and always sit in the quiet carriage. I look forward to it! It's a chance to read and book in peace. But a baby crying wouldn't bother me, unless s/he was crying because the parents weren't bothering to comfort it. It is a baby. They don't know about keeping quiet about fear or pain in quiet carriages!

I'll tell you what is annoying, though. Getting to my seat, and finding that some yakking (at the top of her voice) woman has got her bag on my reserved seat in the quiet carriage. She and her friend brayed all the way to the end of the line, while I tried to work at the table I'd specifically asked for, while booking. And opposite me there was a guy whose phone was not on silent, and who seemed to think international calls require one to talk more loudly down the line.

[HobbetInTheHeadlights]

I've had similar experiences to youvegottabekiddingme.

Unwittingly ended up in quiet zone with young DC and us being the only quiet ones.

On one memorable occasion by myself with two toddlers and older baby - didn't notice signs till we were settled and was discretely bf youngest then, toddler fell asleep immediately and other DC busy with magazine and food.

Older man behind noticed the DC and for a good 20 minutes at top of his voice went on and on about how DC shouldn't be allowed in the quiet carriage. I was mortified but with pushchair, bags, bf baby nearly asleep, a toddler actually asleep and this being only part of the journey and I was already tired I felt trapped.

Another passenger near us finally asked him to be quiet. The man then went to the end of the carriage but before the doors and started a very loud mobile phone conversation.

[Ubik1]

Perhaps they should post a list of don'ts for the quiet carriage - like those old swimming pool posters.

[ReginaldBlinker]

YANBU. I wish more people would realise that it IS about all noise, not just mobile phones as displayed. A "quiet coach" is intended for just that... Quiet. If you want to laugh and chat with your mates/shout at your child/leave your child to cry/have your music turned up to 11/etc., etc. then just do it on one of the other bloody carriages!

There should be a special circle in hell for people who don't respect the quiet carriages (along with people who put their feet up on seats).

[Ubik1]

But nine times out of 10 my seat reservations for me and three children are in the quiet carriage. We are not quiet.

There is no way we are moving once sat down. No way.

[TillyTellTale]

I think I'm inclined to agree with Artex. Quiet parent-child interactions are fine. There's no qualitative difference between that level of noise and that of two students in a library study area quietly discussing multiplication of matrices.

Talking on one's phone very loudly in the quiet carriage is also little better than letting a toddler race up and down screaming. So, if any of the people reading do the former, stop it.

[LongPieceofString]

I think there should be a 'Treat Others As You Would Like To Be Treated Yourself' carriage.

No tinny music. No sweaty BO smelling flesh overspilling into my seat. No sniffing and snorting. No swearing and no yelling into phones.

I spent a long train journey with a very loud crying baby some years back... she wanted to be stretched out in her pram which had to be folded. I asked the train manager if there was anywhere I could have it unfolded and he took me to the quiet carriage and explained very loudly that it was absolutely fine for me to be there. I still remember what kindness he showed. And the baby fell asleep so it wasn't that inconvenient for other passengers in the end.

But I would never have gone in the quiet carriage without the train man suggesting it.

I have a lot more tolerance for babies that are crying (despite being comforted) than for adults doing that loud parenting for Tarquin, or grown ups sniffing and snorting.

[Bunbaker]

"like those old swimming pool posters."

No petting

Seriously though, it sounds like the train companies have it spectacularly wrong regarding booking seats in quiet coaches. If you book online you don't know where you are going to end up. If you book by phone you can request where you sit. Surely it isn't too much trouble to adjust the software to accommodate requests for the quiet carriage.

[Ubik1]

The train companies raison d'etre is bums on seats.

Frankly they couldn't give a toss whether it's noisy in the quiet carriage. If you ask for a table together and there is one in the quiet carriage that is what you will get. No one at the train company is going to clutch their pearls about your toddlers being noisy.


(Those old posters make me laugh...'no smoking'...in the swimming pool?)

[tethersend]

In the spirit of the thread, I called midland mainline today to ask if they can swap our seats into a non-quiet coach. Turns out they can! For £20

For £20, I can live with the hate

[maddy68]

Quiet coach just means no talking on a mobile phone, music etc. not no children or general conversation!

[Merrylegs]

'Quiet coach' is a modern day expectation based on mobile phone usage and tinny music from someone else's headphones. It's not a license for considerably more important than yew people to do their v important work. If you don't want to be disturbed don't go out in public. Besides, total silence is not necessary to good work. After all, kids today are managing to achieve 13A*s whilst simultaneously skyping,surfing, spotifying and selfie-ing. Hey, if they can do it...

[vexedfoxy]

How many tunnels? Where you on the underground? Going through the Alps? Going to France on big tunnel? As a parent I would never sit in a quiet carriage with a child, some people maybe working/ill/grieving/worn out/childless........never heard such selfishness in my life. We chose to have children, other people maybe don't want them forced on them.