Is this argument valid?

[ArmyDad]

We have a teenage dd and a ds who is a couple of years younger. Ever since she has been in that adolescent phase she has had posters on her wall, all normal stuff but mainly of one of the twilight actors who in the poster is topless. So far no problems, as far as I'm concerned this is, as I said normal teenage stuff.

DS on the other hand has always had footie posters until recently when he put up a poster of a glamour model, not topless just in a bikini. DW has taken it off of his wall saying it is sexist and objectifies women. When DS pointed out that this is unfair as his sister has a couple of topless blokes on her wall DW's argument was that as he was an actor and DS likes the films it is different i.e. he is on the wall essentially advertising the film.

So is it valid or does this seem a little unfair on DS?

[Nocomet]

As for the objectification argument, sorry the OP's OW can hardly be unfair to her DS because of societies general ills.

She can and should explain them to him and explain thats why such posters aren't right in the work place or his school locker, but what he has in his bedroom is his choice.

Apart from the fact that policing it will just get silly, is Jessica Ennis in her bikini style running gear OK, but a pop star in skimpy clothes wrong?

If your DD allowed is picture of Tom Daley then M Cyrus is better dressed.

Discuss these things by all means, but let your teens chiose where they stand themselves.

[ArmyDad]

Thanks for all of your responses. I do understand the actor/glamour model comparison and their different purposes. But the purpose of the poster is the same isn't it? A picture to look at as it is "pleasing to the eye".

For the person who asked DD 16, DS 13.

[almondcake]

In fact I don't think there is any double standard here at all. If the DD took down the photo of the Twilight boy, and replaced it with a photo of a famous male porn star, say Dale Cooper, in his underwear, would the OP or his son be comfortable with that in the house? I don't think they would, because the usual context of the porn star is the sex industry, even if that isn't immediately obvious in the poster. The same must be true of the glamour model, or the OP would not be mentioning she was a glamour model. She would just be a woman in a bikini of unknown profession.

[MrsSquirrel]

I would remove the poster because I would not want to see such sexist tripe in my house. I face enough sexism in the big wide world, would rather escape from it at home.

And what struggling said. The posters of semi-naked women and men may be similar, but inequality in our culture means the messages they send are not.

OTOH I think your ds has a point and in the interest of sibling fairness I would take down dd's posters too.

[MrsSquirrel]

A picture that is 'pleasing to the eye'? But it's not pleasing to your wife's eye, is it?

[anklebitersmum]

It's not his wife's bedroom that would be a whole other thread

[daisy0chain]

Don't see the problem personally. My brothers bedroom was covered in almost naked ladies from about 13-17.

He is now a very lovely 27 years old with a lovely girlfriend and treats women well. Let him keep them.

I had a half naked picture of 2pac standing in front of a hash leaf from about the age of 12.... Hmmm maybe not the best person to advise

[GreenShadow]

I would have no objections if my DS's had tasteful pictures of women in bikinis. I think the female body can be a beautiful thing and don't have an issue with it being appreciated.
This does not of course mean that I would want my boys to see women just as a body - it all needs to be part of an general upbringing to view women as equals and where the mind is of greater importance than the body.

And also, I would rather the DSs had any pictures on display than hidden away in secret.

[MrsSquirrel]

Do you never go into your children's bedrooms? I do. Sometimes they come into my room too.

I wouldn't want to come across sexist/degrading/unethical stuff in any room.

[RedFocus]

Both would go as they are both objectifying men & women and that is not the message I want to send my kids.

[SaucyJack]

Agree with your son.

It's either OK to be drooling over posters on your bedroom wall, or it isn't.

[daisy0chain]

sexist/degrading/unethical

What a model in a bikini?

[innisglas]

Maybe, more important than making up some arbitrary rule, it would be an interesting discussion for the entire family to have. I think the important thing would be, whether the respective pictures stay up or not, would be for your children to understand why glamour model photos might be objectionable and to think about whether or not our easy acceptance of similar photographs of men is indeed a double standard.

[squeakytoy]

I would allow teenagers to put whatever they like on their walls in the privacy of their own bedroom.

[unadulterateddad]

Agree with your DS, the rule should be exactly the same

[momb]

I think that your DS is right.
The topless male pictures should come down too. It's not Ok for the male stars of films to have to take their tops off to sell them any more than it's Ok for a woman to have pose in a bikini to sell tyres.
All the same.

[Stinklebell]

Yes, I agree with your son too.

A half naked person is a half naked person IMO.

But the purpose of the poster is the same isn't it? A picture to look at as it is "pleasing to the eye".

Yes as far as I'm concerned, and if it was really just because she likes the film and actor , then why choose a topless poster in the first place

[MrsSquirrel]

Yes many images of women in popular culture (in bikinis or otherwise) are sexist and degrading. IMO sexism is unethical. I wouldn't want that stuff in the house.

Obviously, others on this thread have different views. None of us, apart from the op, have seen the 'glamour model' poster he is talking about.

[ArmyDad]

Well cheers for your help. I will now go for an all or nothing approach

[GatoradeMeBitch]

Bare male chest is roughly equal to a woman in a bikini as far as I'm concerned. I agree, either they can both have their current heart throbs on the wall, or neither!

[Nomama]

Good luck.

I'm guessing your DS will take it with a sulk, he will be used to the 'denigrating women' message.

But your DD will be stricken, harpy like in her defence of her idol who is after all a werewolf/vampire saviour of womankind and not that way in real life I know cos he is real he is special daddy how could you?

Oh, and yes, your DW was being unreasonable. She should have explained her reasoning and got DS to take the poster down. She may have have held onto the higher moral ground then. As it is she has snatched his poster and she was not naked she was wearing a bikini what is the difference between mine and hers its all just skin and he shows his nipples you're being sexist mummy how could you?

[daisy0chain]

Ooooh post pictures of the posters OP! Go on you know you want too

[Cyclebump]

If the DD wanted the picture of the actor for his 'character' she could have a poster of him in a polo neck. I doubt she would want that though.

I think your DW was being unfair.