To Think 'No' It's Not Something We Should Just Put Up With..

[NurseyWursey]

Warning TMI and long!

I have a variety of health problems (believe me I would have died in days of yonder) but there's one thats particularly worrying me.

Everytime I have an orgasm, I bleed. And I mean I have to run to the toilet because there's a gush of blood, about a cup full. Followed by extreme pains in my lower abdomen. It's not just through penetrative sex, it's orgasm and only orgasm. (good job I don't fake them!)

I've had all sorts of tests done, they've found nothing.

I recently saw a consultant, who had a look with a camera and put it up on the screen. She kept saying 'look at your cervix' and I didn't really want to, but she was insistent. There was a tiny scratch on it and she went 'aha, we have found the problem'. I told her that most definitely wasn't the problem, there was far too much blood, it doesn't explain the pain and doesn't explain why only during orgasm.

She then said 'oh well, it looks like it's something you'll just have to put up with - part of being a woman ey!' then a wink.

I've been to A&E through the pain, I'm now terrified of the pain, I'm scared of the amount of blood... but it's something I should put up with because I'm a woman?

Sorry I know it's ranty but could do with some advice and if anyone has experienced the same?

[NurseyWursey]

I so wish I would have said something then and there. I think it was just the shock and the vulnerability of the position I was in. She then left the room as I was getting dressed and had no further discussion.

I think it's more frustrating because it's a fellow woman coming out with these silly comments about women having to deal with stuf.

[EBearhug]

She then said 'oh well, it looks like it's something you'll just have to put up with - part of being a woman ey!' then a wink.
No, it's not! Most women don't bleed on orgasm, nor experience pain, certainly not to the level of ending up in A&E. It absolutely isn't something you should have to put up with. I quite agree that if a man were bleeding from his penis, they wouldn't get told "oh well, it looks like it's something you'll just have to put up with - part of being a man ey!"

I've got no medical ideas, and it looks like you've got some ideas about what else to try, but I would definitely be complaining about this sort of attitude. It's making me feel angry, and I'm not having to go through it.

[NurseyWursey]

Thankyou everyone I'm taking on board everything you've all said and it's given me many more ideas and much more hope.

I think there is a larger issue here, how women are supposed to just deal with things like this like struggling said something should be done and there should be more awareness. Even being on contraception and being expected to put up with the extra bleeding that may occur. If a man was bleeding from his penis (albeit I know this would be even more unnatural due to lack of periods) it would be taken more seriously.

[Nousernameforme]

www.netdoctor.co.uk/interactive/discussion/Bleeding-after-orgasm-non-penetrative-t52212-f26.html

[Nousernameforme]

Apologies if this is repeating what someone else has said but are you or have you been on the depo injection as there are a few women on this link
www.netdoctor.co.uk/interactive/discussion/Bleeding-after-orgasm-non-penetrative-t52212-f26.html
(not the same as the link upthread i checked) and they all seem to have the depo injection in common theres mention of it drying out the uterus and the contractions from the orgasm causing severe period pains and blood loss.

Too bloody right you don't have to put up with it what a shit response from your doctor

[GarlicMarchHare]

It might not be relevant in your case, struggling, but I eventually had the lumpy ovary removed by keyhole surgery (was one the first in the UK ). The other one kicked in straight away and I did still have monstrous periods, but with less pain & flooding.

[GarlicMarchHare]

YYY, struggling, and all those factors are inter-related. Just because there's no known etiology or cure for polycystic ovary syndrome (ie, collection of symptoms,) it doesn't mean we should just have to put up with it The symptoms are treatable individually but it shouldn't be such a Sisyphean task to get the continuity of care required by the syndrome! Gah!

Have they, at least, given you meds to reduce the cramping & improve clotting? Sorry, I've forgotten what they're called.

With the clarity of hindsight, I'd have chosen to stay on the pill and accept I wouldn't have a live birth ... such a pity the options are not made clear enough, soon enough.

[struggling100]

GarlicMarchHare - God, I've had it for 3 years. The idea of 15 years of it makes me want to scream!

They have looked for PCOS in my case - and found 'a bit', but again not enough to warrant action. My problem seems to be lots of comorbidities: PCOS, small fibroids, hormone imbalance. Each individually is not serious; together, they are causing symptoms that are just awful to live with.

I feel that behind all this there is still some concept that women's sexual lives are less important, less likely to cause anxiety/psychological problems if they go 'wrong' than men's. Even reproductive issues aren't taken seriously - I have had to give up TTC because of these problems, and they just don't give a damn. I'm 36, so my chances of having a child are draining away, and I can't do anything but look on hopelessly.

[GarlicMarchHare]

horrible, heavy bleeding for 3 weeks out of every 4, (and it gets worse after sex) and have had exactly the same response from the medical profession.

Yes, I had this too, for 15 years! The doctor doing a routine check-up at a GUM clinic spotted PCOS - by which time it was too late to get pregnant again (multiple miscarriages & inconclusive pg test results, all shrugged off by HCPs.) I've recently been diagnosed with low thyroid, which I only know is linked with PCOS thanks to the internet. Not one of the numerous doctors I've consulted made the link.

I absolutely agree, women's sexual & reproductive health comes a lot further down the medical agenda than men's. I'd hoped this was being addressed now. Am disgusted to see it's not.

(As a side note, why are they still using diagrams showing a gaping vagina? If medics can't even recognise the outside properly, no wonder they're clueless about the inside!!)

[struggling100]

OK, I am starting to get evangelical about this!

I am suffering from horrible, heavy bleeding for 3 weeks out of every 4, (and it gets worse after sex) and have had exactly the same response from the medical profession. A load of investigations, which haven't found anything serious - some minor fibroids, a little bit of a hormone imbalance, a slightly enlarged ovary - all of which have been dismissed as not worth treating. My GP just keeps telling me that I'm normal. But I don't feel normal! It's seriously affecting my sex life, my confidence - and I can't even leave the house some days because it is literally so heavy that I have to be within feet of a loo.

I posted on here (in the health section) about it, and immediately got a PM from another women in the same boat. I suspect that there are LEGIONS of women out there in the same boat.

What annoys me is that when I go to the cinema, there are well-funded campaigns about premature ejaculation, about male sexual anxiety. Anything that interferes with a man's ability to get it up is treated as terribly serious (and rightly so). But NOTHING on this issue, which is every bit as debilitating for women. I feel like we are below the radar and being ignored.

I propose that we GET TOGETHER and DISCUSS what we can do about this, both in terms of sharing what we have tried ourselves, offering mutual support and maybe even lobbying for some change. We should have a thread on Mumsnet at very least.

[mymiraclebubba]

Sorry justice read my post, the cyst is obviously to blame jot the lady who suggested it!

[OnIlkelyMoorBahtat]

"It's all part of being a woman"? FFS. Hope you get this sorted OP

[mymiraclebubba]

Sounds awful hun! I hope younger answer soon!

I was going to suggest that it could be a build up of mucus on your cervix that isn't letting your body expel all menstrual blood which is what I get and it can be quite heavy but if it is fresh blood then the lady above who mentioned slow filling cyst could be to blame

Have they checked you for pcos? It took me years to get a diagnosis as I "wasn't trying to get pregnant so weddon't test" but after about my fifth appearance at a&e screaming in pain they did finally test

[DearTeddyRobinson]

Hi OP, are you in London? I highly recommend Prof Tom Bourne if you are, he is at Parkside and on Harley St (London women's clinic I think). I had mysterious gushing at the gym and he tracked it down to my c section a year prior, sometimes there is a little kink left behind in the uterus where blood pools. I know your problem is different but he is the best, I saw 2 other highly recommended gynaes who basically told me to put up with it

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

You said you've had an ultrasound, was it in internal one?

[hiddenhome]

Presumably some bloke called Douglas discovered it

[TwittyMcTwitterson]

Pouch of Douglas?



how the hell did it get that name?!

[Vintagecakeisstillnice]

Aghhh. Actually logged on to say the consultants comment was so out of order, totally unprofessional.
And I would, maybe not complain depending on the relationship you have with them but comment on how unprofessional this was. Not to mention fucking stupid.

[Vintagecakeisstillnice]

Please bear in mind I'm on some serious meds here(am post-op, not out partying…)

BUT if it's only on Orgasm couldn't the fluid be coming from a variety of places? As suggested above.

I wonder if you have a slow filling hematoma/cyst etc.
that the muscle contractions/spasms are popping it, but if it's slow filling when you're investagated all looks 'normal'.

Other thought do you have any bowel issues? Could you have a tiny fistula and the issue is outside the uterus, and this is just the escape route?

Sorry if I'm repeating anyone or talking rubbish but this PCA pump is very good.

Good Luck.

[GarlicMarchHare]

Good heavens, I never knew I had all those pouches! Just looked up your reference on Wikipedia, hidden.

So glad you have a plan of action, Nursey. What an absurd thing for your consultant to say! Good luck

[HerrenaHarridan]

Use a tampon, I already used my dp

Hope you get it sorted nursey

[BadgersNadgers]

If all else fails we'll get Scooby Doo to have a look up there - he's good at solving mysteries.

[hiddenhome]

Fluid and other materials can collect in the Pouch of Douglas and this can cause pain, sometimes severe. Orgasmic contractions must be pushing the blood/fluid out.

[NurseyWursey]

It's coming from my vagina because it ended up all over DP :(

Never had a c-section and will certainly look into the hysteroscopy. I will do ANYTHING to be normal again. I shall keep you all updated on my escapades and adventure to a blood free orgasm (I have to joke otherwise I'll cry)

[hiddenhome]

If you're not sure of where it's coming from, then insert a tampon, into the vagina obvs, and masturbate to orgasm. Remove the tampon and see if there's any blood on the tip of it. Give your vulval area a wash before removing, otherwise the tampon may end up with blood on it from that area when you remove it.

If it's coming from your urethra or vulval area then the tampon will come out clean.

At least it might help narrow it down to whether it's the uterus or bladder.