'SOFT PLAY WORKER SAID 'WE DON'T CATER FOR CHILDREN LIKE THAT'

[Jenz9]

I recently went to a soft play area in St Albans (Am I allowed to name it?). I paid just under £12.00 to get in and then with minutes spent another £15.00 on food for my husband and older daughter. When it came I asked for a spare plate for my youngest child as she has milk and soya allergies and I had some safe food for her I had brought from home.
As I sat down a loud bossy worker came over in a very loud voice telling me she could not eat food that had not been purchased there. I explained about her having allergies and she said that it didn't matter and she couldn't eat it unless it had been bought it. when I asked again what I could feed her as she had to eat she replied she didn't know but couldn't eat the food I had brought. I asked again what to do and she just kept repeating we could not eat at the premises.

I had to take my daughter outside whilst my husband and daughter ate at the table (I didn't go fully outside due to wet and rain but fed her by the door where it was muddy and people kept knocking us as they came in. When my husband enquired further what they provided for children with allergies as nothing was on the menu with allergy information she said 'WE DO NOT CATER FOR CHILDREN LIKE THAT AND DO NOT PERTAIN TO'. when asked what we should do she said. Her final suggestion was that we eat before we come out.

Surely all soft play should be about inclusion and involvement?
I am writing to the manager and will let you know how I get on.

[Jenz9]

Am really grateful for the positive response from most mums. It was good to hear, especially as I was so angry. Felt like I was in a coffee shop having a chat about it and getting it out of my system.

[TheDetective]

Glad to hear you got a decent response OP.

What on earth was that employee thinking?

My DS is 15 months, and when he was under 1 I wouldn't ask if we could feed him from his own food, as he was a baby being weaned. Once he got to an age where it was more like sandwiches and picnic food I started asking.

It is actually more of a PITA to take my own food. I'd be happier to buy something off the menu. Genuinely, I would.

So far the places I have asked (soft play) have been bemused at the request for allergen information and could not confirm any safe foods.

Given that milk and soya (his intolerances) are in far more than anyone who is lucky enough to not allergy/intolerance would believe, it is impossible to eat out. Unless they can provide the information for me to read.

Funnily enough McDonalds have given me the best customer service in this regard so far .

Soya is in bloody everything . Chips can contain milk traces. Bread usually contains soya flour. My mum bought some sliced cold chicken once for my DS to have. Yup, it contained milk FFS.

Honestly. It is in so many unbelievable things. I am shocked when I find new foods without them.

I do have a tip to share as clearly there are lots of people on here with similar issues. Aldi do a loaf of whole meal bread which is completely soya and milk free. It's 55p too for a 800g loaf. This made me very happy .

[MidniteScribbler]

I don't think that taking safe food for your child is unreasonable, but I wouldn't have asked for a plate, I would have taken all I need for my child to eat at the table.

[AlpacaYourThings]

Erm, vibrate?!?! I meant celebrate

[AlpacaYourThings]

OP, they have probably heard about this thread hence the "come vibrate your DC's birthday here"

[trixymalixy]

Good result.

Those of you saying "could he not just have had a dry sandwich" have obviously never had to deal with a soya allergy. It's in bloody everything and very difficult to avoid. Almost every shop bought loaf has soya in it. Plus because it's less well known than other allergies fewer places cater for it.

BTW we have a letter from our GP stating my DS's allergies and medication. It cost us £20 though, but was needed for DS to be able to have school dinners.

[Madeyemoodysmum]

Good to hear.

[AllergyMums]

Great. Don't really think they could have done more in the circumstances. Although situations like this make me want to bring back the stocks!

[Jenz9]

Update. I have put some reviews on as was suggested by quite a few mums and I feel very good about that.
I also sent my letter and got my reply. The response was very positive. The owner wrote to me. She was very apologetic stating she had already had words with the staff member and listed how she would have liked the situation to have been dealt with, (the exact way I thought it should have been dealt with before I got her response) confirming that when the menu isn't suitable for allergy sufferers they would obviously be allowed to eat their own food. The owner was very customer focused in her reply and said she had read my reviews. She even offered as a goodwill gesture to host my older daughters upcoming birthday party (I can only assume they had her birthday date on record as it was not in my letter) needless to say I will NOT take them up on this offer. I did not complain in order to gain anything, I was just really angry about how my family had been treated, but the positive response has cleared my mind a bit, although I will NEVER go there again. I was actually having trouble sleeping last week thinking about it but at least now I know the owners take on things I can put some closure on it and I do not think it will happen again. At least I seriously hope not.

[EverythingIsTicketyBoo]

I am following this thread, hoping that you find someone reasonable in the company and you get at least a decent apology!

[Jenz9]

No. But letter wasn't sent immediately as I don't have immediate access to printer. I would like to know if it was just a very rude worker if if management think that her actions were correct. I really don't know what to expect

[AllergyMums]

You also spent a decent amount of money on food you could eat. It's not like you weren't buying food at all.

[NewNameForSpring]

Have you heard back from the manager yet?

[MissBetseyTrotwood]

No good ever comes out of those horrible places. Bacteria-filled cesspits staffed by the undead.

Just choked on my tea there. Lol a lot!

[NotJustACigar]

You can't name the soft play area here, but that doesn't stop you from writing bad reviews all over the Internet on tripadvisor, google reviews, dooyoo and other sites. YANBU and I would be furious too.

"Do not pertain to" indeed. I can't stand people who are both overly officious and not too bright. Either/or I can handle but not both.

[Charlie97]

The company should be ashamed of themselves, eat before you come?

From a business point if view, they would then lose the custom of the others in the group at the cafe, so not sure the logic here??

Or do they suggest that it's just the child with allergies that's pre fed? Thereby making the child the odd one out.

They should be totally ashamed of themselves.

I would also add that if they have FB or twitter than you post this on their page.

They cater for children, not robots, some children's needs are different to others.

[wouldbemedic]

Well that's just it, OP - 'reasonable adjustments' are supposed to meet an equal standard of living/opportunity such that all users are able to report similar levels of satisfaction, in as far as that is possible. It can get sticky. Eg., It's difficult to move a shop downstairs and perhaps there is no lift or money to buy one. In that case a reasonable adjustment would mean the shop owner coming down to the ground floor and scurrying up and down as a personal shopping assistant, as the disabled customer moves through the process of purchasing. So in that scenario there is a compromise and it's recognised that, although imperfect, this is the best solution for everyone. No one would ask a small local business to scupper himself putting in a lift he can't afford; no one can expect a wheelchair bound shopper to have shopping access entirely denied. However, a compromise was reached because it would have been so difficult for the local business to meet the customer's need. Otherwise, they would have been obliged to do, under a UN treaty that has been signed by the EU. In the case of the matter being discussed, it wouldn't have been difficult at all to supply a plate. That's why I think the OP is in the right.

[Jenz9]

Re the post about rules. I did not look at website. The poster is dangled from ceiling well above any height I would look at and I fail to see why u would look at the ceiling above your head when you have two children scrambling to get on equipment. I did not see anything at my height so if there was it was not obvious. I actually told a mother today who goes there and they have gone a number of times and they did not know about this rule so it obviously wasn't somewhere they saw either. I also wonder how many mums would be happy if a cafe only sold one thing when they went in and how many would think it wasn't acceptable

[wouldbemedic]

Seems like many posters come on AIBU for the fun of telling others that yes they are!

As a disabled person myself, I can assure everyone that the goal of making 'reasonable adjustments' must be to facilitate disabled service users to participate on an equal footing with others where at all possible. Consequently it's irrelevant to say that a child with allergies can 'survive' for two hours without food. If other children are eating, they must also be able to eat. I'm not so sure about forcing a child with allergies to eat a dry jacket potato; that might be down to individual discretion. But it seems highly likely that the business would be told to pipe down and hand over a plate.

I think you probably should take this further, OP. An article in the local paper would probably do the job. Give them a call. Better yet, warn the business first and see what they say.

Shame on other posters. Where is your compassion?

[Suefla62]

It says right in the rules, on their website, that only food and drink purchased in the cafe can be consumed on the premises.

[Jenz9]

I do not think I was rude. I approached the desk and asked for a plate as my daughter had allergies and I had brought some allergy free food with me. By doing this before I got any food out I was informing the staff who smiled and gave me a plate. They never said anything, it was once I had the food out the woman came over and was very loud telling me I could not. The time to tell me was when I asked for the plate

[Jenz9]

I do not think I was rude. I approached the desk and asked for a plate as my daughter had allergies and I had brought some allergy free food with me. By doing this before I got any food out I was informing the staff who smiled and gave me a plate. They never said anything, it was once I had the food out the woman came over and was very loud telling me I could not. The time to tell me was when I asked for the plate

[notso]

I think she was rude although I also think you were rude.
My son has peanut and nut allergy and I always ask first if it is ok for him to eat our food before I order anything, I would never assume places were happy with this.

[fairylightsintheloft]

well there is only one SP in St Albans so I know exactly which one you mean.. The café is grotty but its my kids' favourite one unfortunately. Doesn't surprise me that they treated you like that but they are being ridiculous and yes I would get on to the Adevertiser if I were you.

[KatnipEvergreen]

These businesses depend on customers- they should be trying a bit harder to accommodate them. They will get bad reviews, people won't go, and they will close. Simple as that.